tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38071733855394222452024-03-08T04:21:27.275-08:00Become Magnetic to WomenBecome Magnetically Attractive to Women. Articles and stories from a real life seducer (with a heart).HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.comBlogger43125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-21856595597011771352010-05-30T10:35:00.000-07:002010-05-31T07:53:04.307-07:00LR 050710 - Same Night Sex, Speed Dating and Text Game<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="smalltext" style="font-size: 11px;"><strong>LR 050710 - SNL Speed Dating and Text</strong></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><div class="post_body" id="pid_42159" style="padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-top: 5px;">Last Friday night I went to a Speed Dating Event at the last minute with Xenakis. In my experience the best opportunities happen before and after the Speed Dating rather than during the 4 minute speed dates themselves. Another key is to get a woman’s phone number on the spot after the event if you were interested in her rather than wait for the match-making people to notify you.<br />
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Even though there were more men than women at the event we had a major factor working in our favor: the women were going to rotate while the men would stand in the same place. Earlier in the day I had read that w<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 0px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">hen <a href="http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090603101406.htm">women were assigned to the traditionally male role of approaching potential romantic partners, they were not any pickier than men in choosing that special someone to date</a>, according to the speed dating study.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family: Tahoma, Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">A key factor in how attracted a man or woman is who is perceived to be the pursuer, which we know has always been a key concept. </span></span><br />
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Another challenge to myself was to avoid the "what do you do" and "where are you from" questions by leading with something spontaneous and offbeat from the beginning of each conversation. While the Speed Dating rotation itself had some fun points, I waited for the open bar after party to really make any moves. I caught the eye of a tall brunette (HB Speed Date Brunette) about 5’10, bigger boobs than I thought at first. I started talking to her at an angle and made sure that I always maintained a slight angle so I could get closer to her without being directly face to face. Tired to the small talk from earlier, I went into my normal mode of interacting with women shock and escalate. She asked my name and then I looked at her name tag, making a deliberate point to stare at it a little. After saying her name I paused, “hmm, 36D?” “Guess again” she said” “DD” I replied. She nodded. I said “wow that’s pretty cool you shouldn’t try to hide them away like that.” “There's some free advice for you that I give all of my friends with big beautiful breasts.” We walked over to the open bar to get refills, she had whiskey and coke, I complimented her on that. Ah, a woman that likes whiskey, 5 chick coolness points for you. After some by the bar, she then introduced me to two of her friends, two guys and one girl. I briefly acknowledged each one and spoke to one of them, then jumped back into talking to her while her other friends talked amongst themselves about 10 feet away.<br />
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I then transitioned the conversation as we walked over to the couches and sat down. “My friend is going to get food and I’m starving too, but mind if we sit down for a moment. You know it would be much more interesting if people asked, what is one of the craziest sexual adventures you have ever had? Then again then it would have to be Dark Odyssey Speed Dating rather than this event." She asked what is Dark Odyssey? So then I went into my description of the event, yeah there were these classes and it was like a kinky gym where people could rotate from one station to another. My then girlfriend and I went to the place where people were just fucking and did it on a swing right in front of a small crowd. It was awesome (see <a href="http://hotbabemagnet.blogspot.com/2009/09/lr-92808-hb-redhead-who-turned-into-ltr.html">HB Redhead story</a> for more about that.) She had a little shamrock tattoo on her thigh, the first time I saw that I said oh, I guess this means I’m getting lucky. HB Speed Date laughed. Then I asked her “I don’t suppose you have a tattoo?” It turns out she had two, one on each thigh. “So what’s your freaky story?” She replied, “I’ve had a threesome before. Although it was with a guy friend of mine and his girlfriend, it made things kind of awkward after that, but it was fun.”<br />
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Then we were out in Vegas at this event called the Masterful Lover SuperConference and we won a remote control vibrating egg for audience participation. As a field trip we went to a strip club with a remote control vibrating egg in her. I kept flipping it on and off while she had a lap dance with two strippers. It was hot and they kept asking if they could take her home. Then I jumped to the fact that the ex had tattoos and how every woman I had met that had tattoos had a freaky side to her. HB Speed Date Brunette then replied that she had tattoos. I asked her where and she said one on each upper thigh.<br />
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She said, "so what happened with the girl?" I said, "she moved away to travel the country as a model. It never would have worked out she was a vegetarian. I’ve concluded that there is something wrong with women that are vegetarians." She agreed. "Yeah, I’ll take a nice juicy steak any day." I then number closed for the time being because I wanted to get a few more phone numbers from some of the women I had spoken with earlier. “I want to say good bye to a few people and then I’m grabbing some food with my friend, but I’ll be around later, I’ll drop you a text once I know where we are at and perhaps we can meet up.” The rest was almost entirely text message.<br />
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I have been testing a new philosophy when it comes to text messages and that is that text messages can be used as a way to just continue the conversation and continue the momentum that is already there. This can be a good way to either meet up that same night or to increase the odds that she will answer your call or return a voice message. A few key points on the text message exchange below. Notice my use of weasel phrases, anchors and some humor and how giving my location was enough to get her to give her location. Also notice the sexual escalation, with each favorable reply, I escalate. The key to making this work was that I established the sexual frame early on in the conversation and got her active participation. I also started building compliance from the beginning, we had three mini-bounces, standing spot to bar, to couch. Then the sensual and sexual escalation was the same escalate – compliance – more escalation.<br />
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<br />
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Text Messages</span><br />
Me: Grabbing food, catch up to you a little later.<br />
Her: Ok, have fun!<br />
Me: Debating going back to the bar<br />
Her: We just left, at the metro<br />
Her: Now in DuPont getting food<br />
Me: We might go to Public at some point<br />
Her: ? I don’t know dc lol<br />
Me: You need a tour guide Miss Tourist<br />
Her: Lol yeah prob .. I stick to va<br />
Me: Yeah? Land of the brown flip flops<br />
Her: Flip flops would be heaven right now!<br />
Me: Oh yeah, that and a foot massage where you can just feel every ounce of tension easing out of your body<br />
Her: Yeah that would be really great to, after the walking I just did<br />
Me: Mmm, a relaxing massage followed by a skillful tongue tracing it’s way along your thighs<br />
Her: That might make me shake<br />
Me: Mmm, as you shake you can already being to anticipate the warmth spreading on down …<br />
Her: Yea cuz it’s def been a while<br />
Me: Awhile eh, I don’t know if you can imagine the feel of a nice thick cock sliding deep inside<br />
(25 minute gap)<br />
Her: Well it better be long too<br />
Me: Long and strong, gotta keep the friction on … Now at Lucky Bar<br />
Her: Back in Bethesda takin my friend home<br />
Me: Care for some company to distress and have some good old fashioned fun?<br />
Her: I don’t have my own place sadly and my feet r really hurtin <img alt="Sad" border="0" src="http://forum.theattractionvault.com/images/smilies/sad.gif" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; vertical-align: middle;" title="Sad" /><br />
Her: Otherwise I might be tempted<br />
Me: Too bad we can’t, I’m out in Alexandria, but you’re now in Bethesda?<br />
Her: Headed to McLean<br />
Me: Driving? Stop by my place.<br />
Her: Should I trust you enough to come over?<br />
Me: I’m as trust worthy as the Big Bad Wolf, I might just have to eat you <img alt="Wink" border="0" src="http://forum.theattractionvault.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; vertical-align: middle;" title="Wink" /><br />
Her: Where do you live?<br />
Me: I gave her my address<br />
Her: Can I ask how many people you have been with?<br />
Me: A few<br />
Her: That’s very vague lol<br />
Me: Enough to learn how such clit and hit just the right spots …<br />
Her: Safely I hope<br />
Me: Of course<br />
Her: Let me plug it into my GPS, I’m a mile from my house<br />
Her: I would normally say no, but I’m trusting u<br />
Me: I appreciate it and it will be worth your while<br />
Her: I’ll be there in 20 min<br />
(I left the bar and got home minutes before she arrived)<br />
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She came over and those were some very nice breasts and she was good company too. Handwriting analysis revealed no major hell traits After having some good fun talk and more fun, when I walked her out I said we should do this again sometime I’ll be in touch with you soon. She smiled and said sounds good. The next day I sent her a text message "Still smiling from last night see you around sometime soon." <img alt="Smile" border="0" src="http://forum.theattractionvault.com/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; vertical-align: middle;" title="Smile" /> Her reply <img alt="Wink" border="0" src="http://forum.theattractionvault.com/images/smilies/wink.gif" style="border-bottom-style: none; border-color: initial; border-left-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-top-style: none; border-width: initial; vertical-align: middle;" title="Wink" /> thanks Since then we have exchanged x rated text pictures, good times!</div></span>HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-10614174340121711992009-09-07T14:54:00.000-07:002009-09-07T15:39:36.659-07:00LR 082609 - HB Petite Brunette from Public<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family:Verdana;font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11px;"><b><br /></b></span></span><div class="post_body" id="pid_30213" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; ">I was out with my coaching group after another seminar session. We then went on to the rooftop at Public in DuPont Circle for our infield work. Zengame, ElectroPussyMagnet and Magellan were all getting some solid hooks, including Magellan AMOGing a DC United player, ZenGame working a two set and ElectroPussyMagne amping tension with the chick who gave him road head after leaving the bar.<br /><br />I was just about to go because I had a business networking meeting early the next morning when I spoke to ZenGame about a two set in the corner and he encouraged me to go in and open even though I was tired and ready to go. I opened by interrupting their conversation, used a false time constraint that I was on my way out the door and then sat down next to the woman I wanted to talk to. She is a petite brunette, Jewish GW student, 21 years old, fun, relaxed, chill vibe, a little bit too much eye shadow but I didn't hold it against her <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " />.<br /><br />Within 30 seconds of talking she became visibly more relaxed as I focused on sustaining a high level of eye contact, having relaxed body posture especially in my shoulders, matching and mirroring her movements and consciously slowing down my tempo and body movement. ZenGame comes in to wing and manages to successfully prevent the friend from having any chance of becoming an obstacle.<br /><br />She asked me what I do and so I said I teach men how to “become irresistibly attractive to women.” She cracked up and said "what like the Pickup Artist?" I responded well sort of but different, (and then went into my bad boy/ good boy pattern)<br /><br />It’s about becoming the kind of guy … you know because women have often told me that they have to choose between an exciting, adventurous, highly sexual, bad boy on the one hand (gesture palm up), who may also be a bit of an asshole and not otherwise be good for you (gesture down and away on the same side) OR a guy who is respectable, who you can really connect with, (gesture palm up) who might be kind of boring or not have the balls to stand up for himself (gesture down and away).<br /><br />But wouldn’t it be great if you could find the best qualities of the exciting, sexual, bad boy (bring left hand in towards in front of me) at the same time as you find someone who you can really be comfortable with and connect with (bring right hand in front me to come together with my left hand). Now, isn’t it great when you can find that in the same person (self point) and look at him through those eyes.<br /><br />This tranced her just a little bit, so I leaned back a little and spoke about my seminar experience from the past weekend. Then I used the blammo pattern sliding anchor to escalate a visual synesthesia amplifier of a peak experience. At this point the bar was closing so I got her phone number and started walking down the stairs with her. I was planning on going home, but then outside on the street her friends asked where they could find food. I ended up taking HB petite brunette toward the pizza place near 20th and P ST.<br /><br />While we were eating pizza in DuPont Circle we ended up making out on the edge of the fountain next to a candle light memorial for Senator Ted Kennedy. I initiated the makeout first by gazing deep into her eyes, stroking her hair, massaging her scalp and then massaging her neck. Then I just leaned in and kissed her, cheek then turned to her lips and she started making out right then and there. I stood up so I could lean in and grind against her while she was sitting on the edge of the fountain. At one point she got scared that she was going to fall in the water, but so far so good.<br /><br />Then I gave her a ride home to her apartment right across from the GW campus. Then I invited myself up to her place, “even though I have to get up early tomorrow, I don’t feel like going to sleep yet, perhaps I could stop by and check out your new apartment for a moment.” I parked on the street, knowing I was not going to be able to stay the night.<br /><br />We went upstairs and as she left the car I discretely grabbed some condoms out of my glove compartment. Once upstairs one thing led to another but then she started to give me some token LMR. “The panties stay on” she said in a casual tone. I said “well how can I eat your pussy if you’ve got panties on?” This appeal to reason handled the objection just fine. I went down on her through and around her almost transparent salmon colored mesh panties and then just started pulling them off to expose a nice smoothly waxed pussy. She helped by arching her back so I could get them off, “well if you insist.”<br /><br />After a few moments of oral on her I moved to get on top of her. She said but I’m not going to have sex with you. I just smiled, of course you’re not going to … imagine my thick cock plunging deep inside you … No, I’m just going to stay poised right, here (at the entrance). I rubbed up and down for a moment and then just plunged in with one stroke, no more protests from her <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /> I consider this to be token Last Minute Resistance (LMR) rather than anything serious. Basically she was saying I'm going to give just enough resistance so I don't feel like a slut and so that I am a little bit of a challenge so that you'll value the experience.<br /><br />Between rounds we were talking. She said “do you teach your guys to always sleep with a woman on the first night? It’s not the best way to start a relationship you know.” I smiled and said it’s the only way I’ve ever started a relationship … of any kind whether one-night or long-term. To me it’s not important when you choose to indulge your desires, but rather how powerfully you feel that magnetic attraction … now … with me I find that what’s really important is the power of that connection when you realize that you really appreciate this person’s company and realize that there is no judging, just pleasure … to the point where you want to enjoy it over and over again.<br /><br />She then said “you are such an amazing person, I mean ooobbbviously when you started talking to me tonight I was attracted to you.” “ooobbb-viously” I responded back to her with a slight hint of mocking irony. “And when you invited yourself up here, obviously I was going to have sex with you.” “Ooobbb-viously” I responded, again mirroring her emphasis on the OB part of obviously. It was interesting to hear her talk through her process of interpreting, justifying and rationalizing everything into place so she could feel good about things. While it was certainly her choice and she was willing to own her sexuality, my lead helped her put some of the responsibility onto me.<br /><br />After that we kept talking for a bit and it was good spending time with her even if I did not get any sleep that night <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /> So there you have it, I've kept in touch since then and it turns out she really is a pretty cool chick with a pretty good head on her shoulders in addition to being fun and DTF. </div></span>HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-56801770126864260762009-09-07T14:42:00.000-07:002009-09-07T15:49:21.904-07:00LR 082309 - HB Sweet Tits shows some southern hospitality in Charlotte<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family:Verdana;font-size:13px;"><div class="post_body" id="pid_30206" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>I was in Charlotte hanging out at dinner with about 10 people from the weekend long NLP seminar along with a student of mine who is good enough to be a co-trainer, ElectroPussyMagnet, a name which is well deserved. We were playing around with all of the skills we had learned having fun playing with weasel phrases and embedded commands. ElectroPussyMagnet used some mad NLP skills to shorten our group’s wait time down from an estimated 2 hours to less than half an hour while charming the hostesses at Magiano’s. One of the hostesses even called a friend of her’s and told her to stop by to meet these 2 hot guys. Not a bad way to start our night of language experiments and planned debauchery.<br /><br />While we were sitting on the patio the woman who the hostess told to meet us walked up to us, I'll call her HB Sweet tits. She came up to the edge of the fence by our group’s table on the patio at Magiano’s and then ElectroPussyMagnet and I started talking to her. She is about 5’6, pale skinned, curvy, blue eyed blonde with nice perky 36 DD’s, chill laid back, generally more of an introvert but she with a hint of a bad girl side she has her name tattooed on her upper back. </div><div class="post_body" id="pid_30206" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; ">ElectroPussyMagnet was doing most of the talking, a blend of cocky funny juiced up with some weasel phrases and embedded commands. She was definitely interested, gave us both her phone number and later sent us a text telling us where to meet her. After talking game with our NLP seminar leader for longer than we had originally planned we finally made it out around 12:30 to a hick dive bar in uptown (formerly called downtown) Charlotte. This not what we had expected after working the upscale clubs at Epicenter the night before which was over run with hot chicks some of whom were buying us drinks and where we both kiss closed two friends that were part of a birthday party. </div><div class="post_body" id="pid_30206" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; "><br />ElectroPussyMagnet and I quickly decided there was not too many women that we were that into and so we were using anyone and everyone for linguistic target practice, which was great fun. We met up with HB Sweet tits and some of her friends. After a little while HB sweet tits left for the bar to get a drink, Aye and I bailed for the outdoor patio where we could talk more easily. He started making progress with a Hooter’s waitress that was on the rebound after being dumped earlier that day.<br /><br />I eventually went back inside to see a genuinely sad HB sweet tits “I thought you guys had left without even saying good bye.” I realized at this point that I did not need to be as cocky and challenging, so I gave her a hug, “aw, we weren’t leaving just wandered a little and then got distracted.” Although I might have to go rescue Aye from the Hooter's waitress outside, those women don't take no for an answer.<br /><br />As I hugged her I started gently stroking her hair and then massaging her shoulder’s and then started kissing her neck. There was no resistance so I pulled back to face her, gazed into her eyes, tilted my head and leaned in for the makeout kiss. After some making out and pressing my leg against her pussy the bar was closing and she was heading out with her friends. ElectroPussyMagnet and I planned to arrange logistics with phone numbers from last night and get some rest for the seminar the next day.<br /><br />Then we kept up by text:<br /><br />Her 2:11 am: Mmm you are so sexy. Come back here soon and I’ll show you some southern hospitality.<br /><br />Me: Mmm that sounds hot, it’s too bad you can’t stop by, it’s not necessary to imagine my thick cock deep inside you<br /><br />Her: well I have to play somewhat hard to get … Though that sounds fucking amazing<br /><br />Her: Will you come back soon so you can put your hard cock in my pussy?<br /><br />Me: Hey I’m leaving tomorrow night but before I leave …<br /><br />Her: before you leave what?<br /><br />Me: perhaps we could meet for an early dinner<br /><br />Her: like what time? I live in south Charlotte. You can come to me <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /><br /><br />(I didn't get around to responding right away)<br /><br />Her: aww, don’t you want me? ;-) goodnite<br /><br />(she then sent her address)<br /><br />Sunday during the seminar:<br /><br />Me 10:36am: Ah, and it will have to be an early dinner since I need to get back. But of course your sweet pussy will make a tasty appetizer. I do like to take my time.<br /><br />Me: As you imagine the feeling of my tongue kissing my way down your body and find yourself anticipating what it will be like when the velvety texture of my tongue is lapping away at your clit …<br /><br />After the seminar I went over to her apartment and just hung out and talking to her on her couch over a bottle of wine and then took her and ended up staying the night and enjoyed her sweet southern hospitality before heading back to DC bright and early in the morning. Another fun game I like to play guess this cup size. I correctly guessed her cup size, a perky 36DD. The cleavage was totally popping in the tightly fitting tank top that she was wearing when I came over to her house so it wasn’t a difficult guess. She was amazed at my talent and said I was like a “12 year old boy” in my enthusiasm for them. I said “well when you have as much experience with breasts as I do … <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /> I would I also went through my language pattern where I create two parts of attraction, the best of the good guy and the bad boy and then combine them together, more detail on that in the next LR writeup from Public last Wednesday.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; ">Key points and lessons learned</span>:<br /><br />I calibrated down the cocky funny approach to a more kind and gentle approach once I realized that she was already attracted to me, wasn’t giving any shit and seemed to have kind of low self esteem and I got the intuition that she was not used to guys treating her well. Part of the reason I could be kind and gentle yet still escalate the iunteraction into an SNL was because of the travelers frame, that is since I’m only in town now, it’s now or never. This eliminated any resistance because she might want to put me on the relationship track without my having to use lots of challenges or false disqualifiers. You can get away with being “nice” as long as it comes from the frame of her being attracted to you and you being scarce.<br /><br />Next time I am in Charlotte at least I’ll have a nice place to stay with a friendly big titted blonde Carolina girl <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /></div></span>HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-1214590943213955872009-09-07T14:37:00.000-07:002009-09-07T15:40:15.438-07:00LR Sat 7/18/09 – Tall Brunette feminist volleyball player<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family:Verdana;font-size:13px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:11px;"><b><br /></b></span></span><div class="post_body" id="pid_28444" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; ">On Saturday night I went out in Adams Morgan for the infield portion of my weekend seminar after leading day 1 of my 2 day seminar where I described and then demonstrated some of the various techniques on a female friend of mine. The tentative plan was for our group to meet on the rooftop of Reef, so I got there around 10:00ish before the peak crowds arrived. I was leaning against the bar just sitting back working some non-verbal rapport around the room when I caught eye contact from HB tall brunette as she turned around and looked over her shoulder. Ah, ha got her. I waited a few minutes and then wandered over there.<br /><br />I opened by acting like I knew her. "Hey! How are you, wow it’s been a long time, how have you been doing?" She and her friend looked like they were trying to figure out how they knew me. She asked how we knew each other and I said high school. She asked where I was from, I’m from Florida she’s originally from North Carolina. I ignored this minor difference in geography and kept going.<br /><br />I asked her if she had seen any of my friends that I was looking for, many of which had been around for a seminar. From there I went into my main routine stack of seminar speaker/ sexual DHV stories. She asked me what I did and I told her I was becoming a teacher of communication skills to men who are developing their ability to communicate more powerfully with women and to learn sexual techniques to hone their talent as incredible lovers. “It’s about becoming the kind of guy that naturally understands women, the kind of guy you can really connect with (self point) and be attracted to (touch anchor on her shoulder) Then stacked onto the Instantaneous Connection pattern light, skewed more toward rapport and pacing.<br /><br />Then I launched into the ex stories, which is starting to turn into a DHV routine and theme to launch patterns. I told her about how I met my redhead ex girlfriend at Brass Monkey and pulled her hair and smacked her ass. I told her about the seminar in Las Vegas in January and how the ex had a lap dance with two strippers while I flipped a remote controlled vibrator on and off. How we had sex in front of a crowd at Dark Odyssey, and more. HB tall brunette appeared shocked, oh my god, you’re so sexual. “Do you tell all the women you meet about this stuff?”<br /><br />I said yeah, pretty much, it’s just part of who I am, I don’t see any reason in hiding it or trying to go out of my way to act polite and appropriate. It’s more fun for me to test and see how much a woman can take. I’d rather scare someone off right away than have them linger here in meaningless small talk thinking I’m someone else. And, honestly after just getting out of relationship I don’t give a damn anymore, the last one will be a tough act to follow, and it’s good being single.<br /><br />She appeared shocked once again, but said ok, I guess that makes good sense. She was a redhead too? Wow, that’s hot, it must have been intense! My last boyfriend was a ginger like you, those gingers … She paused a little. I can’t belief this, you’re so confident. I’ve never met any guy who talks like this.<br /><br />I said so what do you make of it? You seem pretty comfortable. She had open body language, and her arms were down at her side.<br /><br />She said yeah, I don’t feel uncomfortable but you are so different than any guy I’ve ever met before, I’m trying to get used to this. You’re so sexual, but I feel comfortable around you too, this is weird, Who are you? I gave her another touch anchor, ah isn’t it great when you can meet someone who is very sexual (gesture with right hand palm up), and that you can feel comfortable with (gesture with left hand) in the same person (both hands point to self).<br /><br />At some point, Mad Maverick came into the picture and engaged the friend, it looked like things were going very smoothly so I just kept going. HB brunette’s phone number pulled out her phone and noticed that her battery was dying. I told her that she should get my phone number before the phone died. So I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. Then we went back to talking.<br /><br /><br />From there we got onto talking about jobs and where we were from and such. She is a woman’s studies major interning at a feminist lobbying organization for the summer before her final semester of college. I teased her for being younger than my little sister. Also might work a peace corp-like job in Africa that would involve extensive travel. She is 5”11, Venezuelan decent, straight Spanish ethnic heritage, nice ass, perky average-sized breasts in a loose top that did not show them off. She asked about my background (Irish and Germanic) her face lit up as sh said oh, you’re a “ginger” with my reddish hair, apparently her ex was also a “ginger” too, so I’m her physical type.<br /><br />I told her I knew several women who could be described as feminists including some of my longest time girlfriends. I talked about how it was great how most feminists were now pro-sex feminists as opposed to the ones a generation ago.<br /><br />She agreed, yeah feminism is pretty much all pro-sex now. I spun into a pattern about isn’t it great how women can now be empowered in their sexuality to choose what they really want to do (self point), for reasons that are no one else’s business except her own. She nodded.<br /><br />I said and that is the type of thing that guys like myself have learned and are discussing with each other, how to get laid in a way where we understand that women can come from a place of sexual empowerment. You see I think many guys (gesture away) think that women always are looking for a committed relationship or a guy that might want to marry. But my recent experience from my former girlfriend is that women, especially when they are right at this age, just graduating from college and maybe a year or two after college are not necessarily looking for Mr. Right, they want to do things before they settle down and have a family. However that doesn’t mean a woman doesn’t have needs, and doesn’t want to be with a guy that understands where they are at in life and can give them a really good fucking (self point, and fired off anchor on her arm again).<br /><br /><br />I got a shocked look from her again, you’re so sexual, I don’t believe this (with a smile) … Wow, it sounds like you really understand women.<br />What can I say, I’ve have my share of experience.<br />Oh, my god, (playful punch) there you go again, you’re so sexual, everything about you is sexual. How many women have you been with? I shrugged. She said I’ve only been with 5 guys ever, and two of them were relationships that lasted longer than 1 year… That lead to some more conversation.<br /><br />I responded: there has to be another option out there between serious relationship and one night stands for the woman who doesn’t want to be tied down in a relationship but still wants to get some. That is what enlightened men are starting to realize, we’re out there. I like to call it my friends plus plan, you should apply you would be a great candidate :)<br /><br />At this point I was getting a little restless and wanted to get a drink so I left and said I’d be back with shots. The women drifted around and then at some point Faz engaged them and had both of them for about 5 – 10 minutes or so. Then I came in and re engaged them and went back to the brunette. I went back into the sexual cocky funny routine, laced with some pre suppositions. When we do it we’ll have a great time (I nodded). And you don’t have to imagine what it will be like as you feel my thick cock sliding deep inside you ...”<br /><br />At some point HB brunette wanted to do another shot, I said ok, this time it’s your turn to get drinks for us as I gestured toward Faz and her friend. She agreed and went to the bar with her friend while Faz and I stole their seats and talked, things were going very well for him. When they came back we kept their seats. Faz’s girl ended up sitting in his lap while HB brunette ended up facing me between my legs while I firmly held her waist and we made out a little bit. She wasn’t going at it with the same level of enthusiasm as her friend, so I teased her you’re such a delicate kisser, it’s cute. She said that she didn’t want to be too crazy in front of the whole bar (and possibly her friend who was right next to her). I worked my way down her neck and to the back of the neck, pulled her hair a little. Then I gave her ass a playful smack, once again she said you are so sexual.<br /><br />HB Brunette said you seem like you could have any woman you wanted, why did you pick me? I told her she looked over her shoulder and gave me eye contact so I started talking to her. She said that she looked over because she could feel me looking at her (the non-verbal rapport worked even though she wasn’t even looking at me). I shrugged and said, I guess it was your lucky day then . She also said she felt kind of intimidated, how can I keep up with you, you have all of this experience. Well you’d like to learn, right? Let’s just relax and be comfortable and you can learn a few things to take back to college with you.<br /><br />At some point my female friend that was at the seminar on Saturday stopped by and we briefly chatted. She was going to Madams Organ, I thought about bouncing our two set over there to meet her. Then HB Brunette got a text message about a party in Rosslyn. I tried to arrange the logistics, I knew the girl I was with was probably DTF and it looked like things were going pretty well for Faz and his girl. I told her that we could drive them there, she could come with me and her friend could go with Faz. She nixed this idea, so then I said the two of them could go with him and I’d meet them there. She nixed that idea too, I don’t know if she wants to go with him, (while her friend was sucking face with Faz like she was giving her CPR). I was about to call out the bizarre irony, and about how she was deflecting this situation onto her friend because she didn’t want to look like a slut in front of her, but I kept my mouth shut. She then said to call her later about 2:30. At that point they left and Faz and I went back out looking for the other guys. The girl Faz was talking to gave her phone number before he could ask.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; ">Epilogue and getting laid </span><br />After lingering on the Adams Morgan strip for a little while longer, I called her at 2:30, went straight to voicemail, her phone battery must have finally died or she was underground on the metro. She tried to call me back around 3:30 but I was passed out asleep after a long day a. I called the next day to invite her to the seminar and lots of talking, we exchanged text messages and then talked Monday night to arrange a meeting for last night. She<br /><br />drove over to my house totally DTF and she pretty much jumped me, but she couldn’t stay the night since she “had to get up early and couldn’t stay the night because she had to give her roommate a ride to the metro."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; ">Lessons learned:</span><ul><li>If you set a challenging frame high value frame where you are qualifying her, you can be totally inappropriate and use stories of sex with other women as DHV stories and opportunities to introduce ideas and embed commands at will.</li></ul><ul><li>If you set a very obviously sexual frame from the beginning you can eliminate the possibility of any last minute resistance and she will f close you.</li></ul><ul><li>You can be very sexual while still controlling the frame of the interaction with her if you own your sexuality as part of your identity and she is convinced that you are someone she could learn from and would have a great experience with.<br /></li></ul><ul><li>Two set logistics can be tough, but if focus on developing a powerful attraction/ connection and seed the sexual interaction between you two will propose a solution i.e. call me after I get back from the bar with my friends and tuck them into bed., or I’ll stop by your house sometime.</li></ul><ul><li>When a woman is talking about what she thinks her friend thinks, it usually has more to do with her own agenda.<br /></li></ul>In this case I don’t know all that was going on with Faz and his girl but there appeared to be a high amount of rapport and romantic/ physical attraction. I think my girl just didn’t want to look like a slut and wanted to find a way to isolate with me without her friend and roommate knowing about it. The only way to do that would be to go home with her roommate and then sneak out, which she would have done if she hadn’t called back to find that I was already asleep.</div></span>HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-28350307133698432002009-09-07T14:34:00.000-07:002009-09-07T15:29:14.239-07:00LR: HB Strawberry Blonde 0618 - 062409<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family:Verdana;font-size:13px;"><div class="post_body" id="pid_26874" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; ">LR Thursday June 18 – the tall strawberry blonde<br /><br />I was out with Dare and Horizon at Guarapo with the intention of checking out a meetup event upstairs and then a fundraiser at 18th ST lounge. After some drinks appetizers and good conversation to get into state we headed up to check out the scene and good general conversation. There was a about a 2 to 1 guy to girl ratio, but there was a steady flow of unattached women coming from the ladies room, so I wandered over that way and posted up along the traffic pattern. After some brief conversations with a few women that walked by I hooked one at about 9:30. She was a tall strawberry blonde with a big beautiful smile and a warm friendly vibe.<br /><br />I opened by assuming rapport “hey, how are you” as if I already knew her. She is 5’11 strawberry blonde with a big beautiful smile and a very comfortable chill vibe about her. Without any prompting she said she knew me from somewhere, perhaps she had seen me at kickball or something, but I didn’t remember meeting her. Since it seemed pretty obvious she was already attracted to me I teased her back,<br />Me: “wait a moment we didn’t …“<br />Her: “what” she said.<br />Me: “I was going to say something but it would be so inappropriate a nice innocent girl like you would run away horribly offended.”<br />Her: Oh yea try me, it’s pretty hard to offend me.<br />Me: Ok I was going to say we must have hooked up,<br />Her: No, you would have remembered it,<br />Me: “Oh, so beneath that innocent look you’re a naughty girl then.” I stroked her hair down to her neck as I leaned in toward her.<br />Her: and I would have remembered you.”<br />Me: Mmm, why thank you my dear and held her hips with both of my hands (The mmm and hands on hips were anchors), and I think you are … 34C<br />Her: Yes, very good<br />Me: Thank you I’ve had lots of practice guessing cup sizes<br />She laughed again.<br />Then I went into a piece of a language pattern: Isn’t it interesting (weasel phrase) how you can sometimes feel that instantaneous connection (embedded command) with someone even if you can’t remember where you met them before but somehow already know them …, you know that feeling right there (solar plexus point on her) now, with me …, (self point) I find that it amazing how it can just happen just like that, (snap my fingers). She nodded along and smiled again.<br /><br />I told her she was fun in addition to having a beautiful smile, and that she was passing my tests quite nicely so far. I told her as I see it the worst thing in the world would be to go home with someone and then discover that she is boring and bad in bed. She agreed. She inquired about the broken heart and I said yeah she moved away to tour the country as a model for a year but had some great adventures before that then I started describing how I met and seduced my ex (see hb redhead LR from about 2 months ago).<br /><br />She said wow you are good, you cook and take a girl home in the morning? Well it means more rounds of sex and besides if it’s good you always want to come back for seconds. I call it my standard sex + plan. “So what do you like on your omelet?” She laughed and said whoa I can’t tell you that yet.”<br /><br />I then described more adventures the mountain ledge, lap dances and the remote controlled vibrator at the Vegas strip club and fucking in front of a crowd at the Dark Odyssey sex conference. Yeah, it was great but its over now and she was kind of crazy too. She seemed quite intrigued, turned on, amused and confused at the same time.<br />Wow! “Yeah I know way too much info, totally inappropriate for someone I just met, but as you can tell I’m an open book and don’t think I’m ready to be back out picking up women so thank you for indulging me and listening. So now I am mending a broken heart, but at least now I know I have one.” I said this in a silly playful way, putting my hand over my heart and tilting my head in such a way as to put on a mock puppy dog look. She said “something tells me you will be just fine.”<br /><br /><br />“So now I analyze handwriting for every woman I meet just to make sure they’re not too crazy.” She obliged by writing a sentence or two for me. Its turns out hb Strawberry Blonde (HBSB) she has high sex drive, directness, honesty, creative methodical thinking, balanced emotional outlay ambivert and high self-esteem. I pointed that out to her and said “you just passed another test, very good.”<br /><br />From there Dare came along and said he and Horizon were about to head to 18th ST lounge. She told me she needed to talk to her friend. He was a big guy but was clearly just a friend and had not tried to interfere the whole time I was obviously hitting on HBSB. It turns out he had to go home early but she wanted to go with us. I walked her across the street arm with cars coming and she looked a little nervous, so I twirled her around so I was on the outside facing the oncoming cars. “Ah, you are such the gentleman J walker …”<br /><br />In the car she asked me, so are you over your nympho ex gf?<br />I said yeah, I’m getting there, but I’m not going to rush into anything. I’ve made some new rules, no women under 25 even for hookups.<br />She laughed and said, “well I’m over 25.”<br />Great! Things are looking increasingly good for you. You’ve passed the crazy test and the age test and the smile test.<br />She laughed again.<br /><br />At 18th ST lounge we get drinks and talk even more. She appeared to be in a sustained trance almost the whole time, the perfect doggy dinner bowl look. I had her in my gold bubble, later changing it farther and farther into red. I noticed she maintained very high levels of eye contact just like I do, and I felt a very calm comfortable vibe with her. I told her I feel very comfortable around you, you have this great energy. She said felt the same way from the moment she met me. I leaned in a little and tilted my head about 45 degrees and she leaned in to match me. After about 30 seconds of kissing I lightly pulled her hair and then moved to kiss her neck, moving to the nape of her neck and then back to kissing while firmly holding her hips. I told her that we need a hard surface and led her by the hand to the wall and more making out ensued while grinding my right upper leg against her. She said people are staring at us. I turned around and saw at least half a dozen women looking in our direction from various parts of the room. I said let’s find a dark corner. We headed toward the couches between the main bar area and the outdoor deck.<br /><br />On the way there I recognized a girl who once had a crush on me but that I never had hooked up with and introduced them. As we walked away I explained how I knew her to HBSB and she said that the other girl looked disappointed. “Yeah, I know. But what can I do?” I shrugged and halfway gestured around the room at all of the other women, some of whom had been looking in my direction. HBSB said “you certainly don’t have a problem with confidence.” I leaned in and<br />A couple got up just in time to give us their spot.<br /><br />On the couches I started talking about how I had recently seen the Phantom of the Opera movie years after seeing the musical as a kid and rowing up listening to the soundtrack because my mom was almost obsessed with it. HBSB told me she had just gotten the movie as a gift the other day but not seen it yet. I then told her a little about the plot and about the competition between Raoul and the Phantom and spun a language pattern off of it. On the one hand (holding out right hand) you have a guy who is Mr. Perfect, childhood sweet heart, rich, handsome, smooth, everyone likes him and then on the other hand you have the Phantom with the disfigured face but with a completely entrancing voice and obsessively dark seductive intensity, but then he is also a murderer. She laughed a little, he’s a murderer, oh yeah the object of his affections found this to be a mild turnoff. I said of the two characters I know that I am mostly like Raoul, the guy you could take home to mom who would be Mr. Perfect, but like to think that I can channel the dark seductive intensity of the phantom or his amazing voice. So I was thinking wouldn’t it be great if you could take these two sides, (while holding out my left hand and right hand) and find them in one man, (both hands self point to my upper chest)?<br /><br />It was now 11:00 but I felt like going. I said let’s go watch the movie. She said that her roommate had company at her house. So I said let’s go to my house instead. With that we left in my car and headed out toward Virginia to pickup her car and head to my house. Then I told her about my adventure on Roosevelt Island and we made a detour there as well. This time cops did not show and almost arrest us, like the last time I went out there in the middle of the night. So we made out on the island for a little while and then headed back to get her car and head to my house.<br /><br />Then we went back to my house and great fun ensued. Unfortunately it was not a good time of the month for her but she pushed me down on the bed and gave me a very good blowjob with promises of more to come. Then we met up again last night and spontaneously went on a charity boat cruise that left from the Alexandria waterfront and headed back to my house for a nice way to end an evening <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " />. So far so good, I think she’s got potential to be part of my rotation now that I am getting back in the swing of things again.</div></span>HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-67047346452173444832009-09-07T14:25:00.000-07:002009-09-07T15:48:31.656-07:00LR 9/28/08 - HB Redhead who turned into LTR<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 18px; -webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 1px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 1px; font-family:Verdana;font-size:13px;"><span class="smalltext" style=" ;font-size:11px;"><strong>LR 9/28/08 - HB Redhead who turned into LTR</strong></span><div class="post_body" id="pid_23054" style="padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 5px; padding-bottom: 5px; padding-left: 5px; ">By popular request I am finally posting this field report from September 2008 which ended up turning into an LTR for 6 months and led to me being mostly MIA from the field and the metroDCPUA forum while I was seeing her. Here is the story<br /><br />I started out the day at Fearless apartment where he and Dare had been putting on a workshop for a few members of the underground. I came in a little late and did a demo for some NLP style language patterns for comfort building and sexual escalation. I hung out with a group a Chi Cha Lounge for most of the night, props to Dare for handing the staff who tried to move us into a shitty table – we ended up with 2 tables and a free hookah after he spoke with the owner. I got about 4-5 phone numbers and generally had fun but nothing was really clicking at the level I would like. By about 2 am Chi Cha was closing down and only Fearless and I were left. We left and I considered going home because in my by that time of the night most women that are going to hook up are either gone or pretty much locked in by another guy. I’m usually taking women home by 12:30 – 1:00, sometimes sooner.<br /><br />I didn’t feel like going home so I ended up going to Brass Monkey alone instead. I’ve always preferred more dive-like places where the drinks are cheaper and the atmosphere is more casual. I was in a great laid-back frame of mind, calm with no expectations, mostly sober.<br /><br />As I walked in I locked eye contact with a decently cute girl with her friend that was walking out. I kept eye contact and she kept looking as she walked to the door and then stopped and turned and stared at me. She started walking back toward me while towing her friend and within a moment we were standing face to face and I just leaned in and starting making out with her. That lasted a few minutes but I was only slightly interested in her and her friend was ready to pull her away within a few minutes. I just laughed a little as her friend dragged her out the door and I turned to make a sweep through the bar.<br /><br />My focus was to look for lingering eye contact that indicated a high amount of initial attraction based on appearance and how I was carrying myself. Then if I got that from a girl I was interested in I was going to mirror her facial expressions, assume rapport with a high value open as if we already know each other.<br /><br />I didn’t see anything interesting on the first floor, so I went up to the second floor. As soon as I got to the top of the stairs on the 2nd floor I noticed immediately noticed a cluster of women wearing brightly colored outfits, including a curvy blonde and a tall redhead. What the hell was this? I noticed the blonde first but then there was something about the redhead. She had a tall statuesque figure and wore a bright pink dress with bright yellow tights and equally bright yellow beads around her neck. Her hair was a reddish auburn color with big frizzy curls like 80s hair and she wore black lacy gloves on her hands. The outfit wasn’t really quite flattering but it was obvious to me that she was pretty cute and I felt a very strong sexual vibe. Clearly this woman was fun with an ironic sense of humor.<br /><br />I locked eye contact with HB redhead, mirroring her facial expression and squinting my eyes a little with an evil smile. An almost predatory voice inside my head said “mmm, she’s mine,” and I felt a calm yet excited feeling of certainty and inevitability. Since our eyes had already said hello, I moved in close and casually said “hi” as if we already knew each other while touching her arm. She returned the favor with an almost ironically throaty “hello” seductively tilting her head down while gazing up at me. I slightly mirrored what she did and we started talking. Game on!<br /><br />As we spoke I made sure to maintain good posture and keep my body, especially my shoulders and face, relaxed. I could feel tension continuing to build, all sub communication. She said I looked like a hotter version of Conan O’Brian :) Since I had rapport I used the eye contact to communicate my own state as I ramped it up, first to pace her reality and then to lead it higher. A powerful sensuality pored from her, and I knew that I was dealing with an extremely sexual woman. So I knew I could really pore on the sexual escalation without restraint.<br /><br />She noticed the Bacardi blinking button, which worked like a charm once again to spark some conversation. She had been a promotional model too and was here with her friends on a going away party, since she was leaving in about 2 weeks. That’s why they were all dressed up in 80s clothes for what she called “80s prom night.” She had already moved out of her apartment and had been staying with a friend in Adams Morgan. Ah, this would be too perfect!<br /><br />Within a few moments of talk I leaned in to kiss her. Her body buckled and as she powerfully responded I kept amping up the aggression. After less than 30 seconds of kissing lips and mouth I moved to her neck biting and nibbling my way to the back of her neck, taking care to hit one erogenous zone after the other. I grabbed her hair, pulling it just hard enough to send a tinge of electric sensations shooting through her body and make her head move and then maintained it at that level, intense but not quite painful. I firmly grabbed onto her waist pulling her up against my leg so that it was firmly pressing against her pussy, while she grabbed onto my neck and arm for balance.<br /><br />As we began to get even more turned on I roughly pushed her back against the brick wall, taking care to put my hand behind her head so it didn’t slam into the wall. We continued to make out and I kissed her nipples right through her dress. A flash went off as one of her friends took a picture with her camera of the spectacle that was unfolding right in the middle of the bar. I fed off her sexual energy, feeding it back to amplify it as my own state kept going. I was grinding hard against her tight pussy to a sexual rhythm, basically dry humping against the wall. I knew she was mine to take as I crushed her up against the wall. He eyes had this hazy defocused look on them, she was totally gone, as if entranced by the experience (and a little intoxicated too).<br /><br />I pulled back for a moment, to tease, to fractionate and allow things to cool slightly so that I could come back a moment later and bring things even higher. I tried to think of what to do next, talk a little, make out some more? I realized that there really wasn’t anything left for me to do. I had an evil grin on my face. “No, please, you’re just a tease,” she said. I responded “Oh yeah, is that what you think?” I looked straight into her eyes roughly crushed her up against the wall again, firmly kissing her mouth, pulling her hair harder this time and grinding into her pussy as all of those feelings instantly ramped up even higher than they had been moments before. At this point I realized this was and had been a done deal, and I thought that I could probably say anything and she would come with me.<br /><br />I pulled back and said in a very low key casual voice, I’m hungry, let’s grab a slice of pizza, head back to my place and I’ll cook you breakfast in the morning, salmon and goat cheese omelet. She paused for just a moment, while it sunk in that this was my move to get her home with me. Ok, um you want to go now? Yes, now. Ok, let me get my purse and my camera back from my friend and we’ll go. After a very brief exchange with her friend the lights started coming on upstairs and we left. We passed Caveman and Horizon on the way out of Brass Monkey.<br /><br />As we were walking down 18th ST, there was some brief dialogue<br />Her: “ok mister I don’t know what you have planned between now and cooking me breakfast in the morning, (smile) but we need to stop by a drug store to pick up some Polyurethane condoms, most guys don’t keep those around.”<br />Me: “Oh yeah, latex allergy?”<br />Her: “Let’s just say I very strongly prefer them.<br />Me: Ok.<br />Her: Also I need to be able to get back to meet up with my friends by 11:00 tomorrow.<br />Me: Ok, no problem.<br /><br />With that we walked down the hill, got some pizza and then got in the car to head back to my place in Virginia.<br /><br />At some point she asked me what I do and I said "various things although I’m looking to teach guys how to get laid." I said I believe there is a way to teach men how to be strong and very sexual while not being an asshole. I explained my philosophy about how people were way too judgmental and that society in too harshly judgmental of women and sex. I said I don’t judge people based on their sexual behavior, it’s just part of who they are. Around that time some random guy called for the first of several times. Her ring tone was set to Metallica’s Sandman for any guy callers. She hit ignore. We stopped by CVS just down the street from my house and I had a huge shit eating grin on my face as I passed a box of condoms to the check out clerk.<br /><br />We went back to my place to eat the pizza slices we picked up in Adams Morgan. In the kitchen I pinned her against the stove and made out with her while the pizza was reheating in the microwave. When it was time to take them out I pulled back and said, ah time for food. “You tease, she said with a playful twinkle.” We ate and then went into my bedroom where I threw her down on the bed and we went at it. She was a complete animal, I’ve never seen a woman that powerfully sexual before. The poor chump kept calling and calling, so in the middle of fucking her I kept hearing the Sandman ring tone.<br /><br />After round 1 of the best sex I think I had ever had up to this point in my life, where she came very powerfully, she explained the phone ringing by saying that she had given her number out to some other guy earlier in the night. You’d think he’d get the hint if I’m not picking up after like 5 times. I wonder if it really was the same guy or maybe even more than 1, but she was definitely looking to hook up that night. While we were talking naked on my bed she said something which would turn out to be really profound. After all of this, can we be friends? Sure, I said as long as we can keep fucking like this. Oh yeah, of course, its just I would not have expected to meet a guy I would want to get to know this way. You’re really smart, and nice in addition to being really hot. Also normally I have to initiate thing in the bar. This is weird, guys aren’t hot and nice and aggressive like this. I shrugged and said “well that’s me, I guess this is your lucky night.”<br /><br />I asked what she said to her friend in that brief conversation right before we left the bar. She said I told my friend “that this hot guy went totally alpha on me and I would see her tomorrow.” “Normally I have to initiate things, but you just went totally alpha on me and that was all it took.” Nice, I smiled. And then we went at it again. I cooked her breakfast in the morning and got her phone number right before dropping her off at her friend’s place.<br /><br />Over the next couple months we had many adventures:<br /><br />She was a pivot a couple times and did a demo with me for a group of guys from the forum<br />We had sex in the public park across the street from my house<br />On an overlook on skyline drive, as we enacted one of my erotic stories I had recently sent her<br />In Vegas while at a conference<br />At the strip club I repeatedly activated the remote control vibrating egg while she was getting lap dances from strippers<br />Orgasm from voice commands<br />I gave her an extended orgasm for over 30 minutes using Sleepnosis, hypnotic induction while she was sleeping<br />At the Dark Odyssey convention<br />She gave me head right in the middle of an empty seminar room after we attending a class by porn star Penny Flame called “How to suck cock like a pro” Then we had sex on a swing in front of a crowd in the “sexorama room”<br /><br /><br />Here are a few text messages that I saved that illustrate how things (rapidly) progressed.<br />Notice some NLP language constructs like presuppositions, single binds, double binds etc that I used to further amplify the sexual dirty talk.<br /><br />Wed 10/1<br />Me: 9:10 PM <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /><br /><br />Her: “You drive me crazy <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/tongue.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue" title="Tongue" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /><br /><br />Me: 9:31 PM Why thank you my dear, and here is some more text art while I sit here in this seminar 8==> (my text emoticon for balls and penis)<br /><br />Her: 9:31 PM Haha, what seminar? I read your story and now I feel like a horndog nymphomaniac.<br /><br />Me: 9:50 PM At this psychology seminar, Mmm its too bad we can’t meet up<br />tomorrow night …<br /><br />Her: 10:03 pm You just want to tease me. I’ve got plans for the debates but otherwise …<br /><br />Me: 11:10 pm… otherwise<br /><br />Her: 11:23 pm … Fuckfest<br /><br />Me: Sounds good <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /> 11:36 pm<br /><br /><br />Thurs 10/02<br />Her: 2:03 PM Got your email. I’ve always really enjoyed stories about bdsm best, followed by group sex and anal. How are we working tonight? Can you pick me up at the metro?<br /><br /><br />Fri 10/03<br />Me: 11:08 am Just the thought of you is making my cock really hard<br /><br />Her: 12:20 pm I would give anything to be lying in your arms with your cock buried deep in my soaking wet pussy.<br /><br />Me: 1:37 pm The warmth of my firm embrace envelopes you as you feel the fullness of my cock deep inside your tight pussy, and you notice that each ripple of pleasure is heightened<br /><br />Her: 2:16 pm God I want you so badly! As soon as I see you I’m going to pounce on you. You’re making me absolutely wild!<br /><br />Her: 4:06 pm Oh man, my work is finished and my contract is up! I am officially free!<br /><br />Mon 10/06<br />Me: 5:32 pm <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /> 8==><br /><br />Her: 5:45 pm Last night I had a vivid dream of your strong arms holding me down while you thrust thick cock in me over and over until I was screaming and writhing under you.<br /><br />Me: 5:51 pm I suppose we could make that vivid dream a reality tonight …<br /><br />Her: 5:53 pm Unfortunately I cant, I’m still in Laurel tonight. I’ll have to settle with dreams again tonight. I just cant get you out of my head <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/wink.gif" border="0" alt="Wink" title="Wink" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /><br /><br />Me: 6:09 pm Well then, as you dream tonight imagine what it will be like as my cock is thrusting deep inside your tight wet pussy tomorrow night or Wed until …<br /><br />(Some more chat during the Vice Presidential debate)<br /><br />Her: 10:15 And what led you from politics to sexpert … Besides your thick dick?<br /><br />Me: 10:23 Sex, Seduction, Politics they’re not that different … Bill Clinton was such a pimp!<br /><br />Her: 10:30 I think the sexiest thing about you is how smart you are.<br />Maybe I’m too Washington. Its not to knock your body, which I think is way hot <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /><br /><br /><br />10/07<br />Me: 1:44 pm Mmm, I’m horny just thinking about you right now.<br /><br />Her: 2:58 pm I’m thinking of how cut your abs are among other things.<br />If you parted my pussy lips and slid your fingers in they would be soaked because I want you so badly.<br /><br />10/10<br />Her: 8:36 am I hope you weren’t late for work! Have a great day because you’re a great person and you deserve it!<br /><br />Me: 8:49 am Aw, thank you, and no problem being late. Have fun with your travels and in New York! You’re a truly beautiful person through and through and I love you!<br /><br />Her: 8:59 am I love you too! What an incredible two weeks this has been. I feel so giddy. You are handsome and smart, too good to be true – but you are!<br /><br />Me: 12:14 pm <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /> aw thank you ditto on the sentiment. I didn’t know the possibility of you existed. But then again I had not yet met you.<br /><br />11/09<br />her 5:41 PM 11/09/08: I love you so much! I miss you already.<br />Thanks for the wonderful weekend! I cant wait to see you again!<br /><br />me 11/09/08 6:16 pm: I love you too, talk to you soon <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /><br /><br />11/11<br />her 10:23 PM: I love you so much! You are a wonderful presence in my life!<br /><br />me 10:39 pm: Thank you I love you too! Miss you<br /><br />her 10:41 pm: I miss you too. Youre just such a wonderful influence on me. I feel like im growing when im with you.<br /><br /><br />11/23<br />her 8:47 pm: I love you so much! You are the best lay, best cook and best man I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet!<br />me 9:46 pm: Wow, why thank you! I love you too!<br />her 10:53 pm: I cant stop thinking of you and smiling. I love you and can’t wait to see you again!<br /><br />me 11/24 9:53 pm: Btw my abs are sore from the other day <img src="http://www.metrodcpua.com/mybb/images/smilies/smile.gif" border="0" alt="Smile" title="Smile" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; vertical-align: middle; " /><br />her 11/25 12:26 am: I bet you abs aren’t as sore as my inner thighs.<br />:-P . I love you tons and I cant wait to fuck you again!<br /><br />her 12/02 4:40 pm: I just had a vivid dream about bringing a hot chick to you and having a way kinky 3some. Now my pussy is absolutely soaked.</div></span>HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-43757201115124650882009-08-11T01:03:00.000-07:002009-08-11T01:07:03.859-07:00Biggest mistakes you can make once in a relationshipBiggest Mistakes once in a relationship:<br /> <br />Not staying sexy …<br />Don’t quit your game, approach and meet women all the time. By continuing to flirt respectfully you keep up your edge and sexiness. <br /><br />Not keeping the abundance mentality. <br />By continuing to go out and flirt respectfully it helps keep you from becoming too needy and believing that you have only one option. It also keeps your partner on her toes because she knows that if she slips up then she could lose you. Keeping the abundance mentality is also important because as you evolve and develop as a person your interests could change. <br /><br />Becoming too comfortable and lazy. <br />Don’t get complacent or stop doing the things that initially generated attraction in your woman. This includes being unpredictable at times. <br /><br />Not integrating skills and a lifestyle<br />Over time your lifestyle is going to be important to the ongoing relationship. It keeps things fresh and interesting. It’s part of your social value to her.<br /><br />Magnify Inner Game while in a relationship<br />Use this as an opportunity to continue to build yourself up.<br /><br />Becoming over idealistic, over awed by the woman you are with.<br />Another problem that can occur is to fall in love with falling in love. Or lose control of your actions by following your emotions. While someone may be great, allowing yourself to lose too much control will end up leading you down a dangerous path where you lose control of the relationship as well as her respect and your own self-respect. This includes failing her tests of<br /><br />Continuing to flirt with other women, is very important and I think it helps preempt many frame tests. Her feeling like she has to work for it and compete with you is also very important because it re validates her choice to herself. The trick is finding the balance in a relationship between continuing to apply the principles that you used to pick her up while enjoying the emotional ride because it feels good. You must find a balance between logically knowing what you need to do in spite of good emotions. <br /><br />The problem is that going for the emotional ride is nice, giving up a degree of control can be nice. The slippery slope is that she may appear to reward your compliance or nice things that you do for her, while she simultaneously still wants to be challenged and feel like she has to work to get you. Too much compliance or "nice" from you results in a test even if she appeared to reward it at the time.<br /><br />You can’t completely surrender to the emotional ride while maintaining control of the frame at the same time, you need to continue to think logically and act in spite of intense emotions and feelings. At the same time I think really part of being in a relationship is having the confidence that even when you lose some control you know you can get it back again. That is what the roller coaster is, the give and take. Sometimes you’re the one chasing, other times you are the one being chased. <br /><br />One thing I've realized, basic principles that are necessary for generating attraction need to continue during the relationship to keep her attracted and retain the power and the challenge aspect to her. You also need to pro actively do this even when it appears a woman is totally into you and is not giving you any tests. As soon as she somehow feels she might have the upper hand i.e. you've weakened, she's strengthened or it's the same and she wants to reverify the status quo. Frame control tests keep going all throughout a relationship as a struggle to see who has the upper hand. The best way to deal with them is to never lose the frame in the first place, retain your power by being social and continuing to do things that make you socially valuable independent of her.<br /><br />One mistake that you can make is to abandon the concept of the frame, of who has more power, dominance etc. It is easy to get swept away by all of the good feelings awed by a woman. However you must still maintain control and not allow yourself to be pussy whipped or come to be dependent on her validation and approval. I started to feel good about doing “nice” things for her because she kept rewarding me by acting appreciative and thanking me. I assumed that this meant there would not be any need for me to continue to be a challenge as much as long as she was constantly qualifying herself to me.<br /><br />But this can be a trap as even though women want an alpha male, they will try to turn him into a beta male. Once he turns beta and is under their control they start to lose attraction to him. Once you start to fail her tests it is a slippery slope downward. I think this is yet another reason why any longer term relationship always has conflict at least some of the time.<br /><br />It is in losing yourself to the good feelings and chasing them you become the Nice Guy or rather the "Sappy Guy". Beware doing too many things that are “nice” as it may be perceived as an attempt to buy her affection with your money or efforts. This is why Nice Guys are seen as incredibly weak by women and men. And this is why Nice Guys are still seen as "children" even if they have grown male bodies.<br /><br />Can we be 'over-awed' on other things and create a type of 'unhealthy Nice Guy addiction'? Certainly! The intense feelings of sex can over-awe people and have people literally worshipping copulation itself (and lose total control of themselves to it). In a phrase: Pussy whipped. Likewise, the intense feelings of alcohol, drugs, and even food also can 'over-awe' people and keep them addicted to this 'awed' state.<br /><br />The worst culprit is the modern notion of "love" that is seen as something you submit to, something to "over-awe" you. This definition of "love" keeps the Nice Guy in a state of continued cycle no matter how many times he gets burned. Does this mean one cannot be 'awed' by a woman? You fall in and out of awe over the course of any long relationship. But you certainly don't 'submit' to this awe. Nice Guys see themselves as Romantics. Vain women see the Nice Guy as submitting to their WONDERFUL selves (which every woman thinks herself wonderful). The truth is in the middle. Nice Guys are submitting to their misplaced awe (usually placed upon some hard to obtain woman).<br /><br />Don't let feelings of awe have you lose control of yourself. And certainly, never submit to it.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-60136583140807725312009-08-10T23:40:00.000-07:002009-08-10T23:42:22.482-07:00There's no such thing - human emotions happen with a structure and formThere’s no such thing. Love, lust and all human emotions are processes<br /><br />Important concept from NLP all human emotions are processes . Almost Zen like concept, people are dynamic with ongoing processes and dynamics.<br /><br />Emotions have a structure, order, flow. This is why things can be one way and then people change. The relationships can be really great but then things change because people are dynamic<br /><br />How do women create emotions? Internal representations<br />Visual – what she sees in her mind<br />Auditory dialogue – what she says to herself<br />Auditory spoken – what she says out loud<br />Flow of internal sensations – physical and emotional<br /><br /><br />Seduction is like a recipe<br />- right ingredients<br />- actions<br />- proper sequence<br />- proper proportions<br /><br />Key questions:<br />- What emotional states do I want attractive women to experience with me?<br />- If the only emotions she experience around you are casual comfort and enjoyment, you wind up being her friend.<br />- If she only experiences lust, arousal, desire, she may scare herself out of the seduction.<br />- Need balance<br /><br />To get different results ask yourself different questions<br /> - Einstein theory of relativity<br /><br />Chumps vs. Champs<br /> - Chumps dating frame<br /> How can I get her to like me?<br /> - Chumps questions assume<br /> Focus on behavior vs. emotions<br /> That a “date” is the best (or only) method to find a suitable sex partner<br /> That he must be the “supplicant” and seek her favor, try to win her over, outcome is largely a matter of chance “get lucky”<br /> Dating frame was never designed for you to win<br /><br />Having true choice involves captures and leading her imagination and emotions<br />Using your words and your communication<br /><br />Dating can actually get in the way of her sleeping with you.<br /> That is because she has a check list of social and other qualities she is going to check against.<br /><br />It’s never about where you take her or what you spend<br /> It’s about how you use your language (and what you get her talking about) to capture and lead her imagination and emotions.<br /><br />Anything that happens outside of someone’s conscious awareness has a very hypnotic effect and it is not resisted. When you trigger these processes to trigger her attraction processes it happens outside of her conscious awarenessHB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-53804035128606595452009-08-10T23:25:00.000-07:002009-08-10T23:27:17.582-07:00Self esteem and conditions for romantic love<p>This is especially important if you want a longer term relationship, however it can also be key in the short term as well. That is another reason why it is important to know what you want in a woman and then know how to identify it.<br /><br />If you are looking for a one night stand or short term fling then finding a woman with a healthy sex drive and a fun personality might be all you really need.<br /><br />If you are looking for a longer-term relationship then there are many personality traits to identify.<br /><br />David Shade identifies several different characteristics for a woman who would make for a great long-term partner with whom to explore sexuality: <br /> 1. High Self-esteem<br /> 2. Intelligence<br /> 3. Strong Sex drive? (not in written notes)<br /><br /><br /> According to romance psychologist Nathaniel Branden there are several key factors necessary for romantic love. Among the most important factors is high self-esteem. In 1969 Mr. Branden briefly defined self-esteem as a combination of self-efficacy and self-respect in his words "...the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and being worthy of happiness". <br /><br />Romantic love briefly defined for this book is an emotional response to what we value highly. Branden’s definition: the passionate emotional, sexual and spiritual attachment regarding the value of each other’s person OR love is our emotional response to that which we value highly.<br /><br />Companionship<br />To admire<br />To feel visible<br />Self discovery<br />Sexual fulfillment<br />Fully experience oneself as a man or a woman<br /><br />To be able to have romantic love in a long term relationship we are able to fully experience being a man or a woman. It is through this that we can fully experience being a man or a woman. Mr. Branden also identifies several other conditions for romantic love including: <br />That each partner needs to be able to accept themselves, aloneness, be happy being alone. <br />The partners need to come from similar social backgrounds<br />There needs to be mutual visibility, in that you need to be able to show yourself and be transparent in who you are as a person<br />Self love – is necessary to receive love<br />“Happiness anxiety” - if you don’t believe you deserve love then you’ll sabotage it<br />Selfish component in romantic love: you need to be doing it for you, not just the other person for it to truly be romantic love<br />Admire complementary differences<br /><br />If someone does not believe they deserve to be happy they will find a way to sabotage it: “happiness anxiety” You cannot make her happy unless she deserves to be happy. <br /><br />Ways to identify People with high self-esteem<br />Have respect for reality. Low self-esteem: delusional, superstitious. The other person is not perfect, they don’t over idealize them or an ex who obviously mistreated them.<br />Are unafraid speak up for themselves and say what they want. <br />Usually had good relationship with their father, quotes their father<br />Can take a compliment rather than dismiss it.<br />High self-esteem person you feel like you have more energy being around vs. low self-esteem person feels like they drain your energy <br /><br />Beautiful Women (people) do not necessarily have high self-esteem <br />“Daddy’s girls” often have high self-esteem<br />These women had a strong relationship with their father<br />Father was loving, caring, nurturing, disciplined when necessary, provided unconditional love<br />didn’t spoil her per se, he taught her to be independent, believe in herself, respect for reality, accountable for her own actions<br />often the youngest or only daughter<br /><br />Low self esteem –<br />chronically cynical. <br />poorly treated in past relationships. <br />Lack of independent goals<br /><br />Are you with the right woman:<br /><br />Right – feel good about yourself<br />Increases your energy<br />Able to work out problems with you<br />You can talk to her about anything<br />Easy to get her to talk to you, all night long<br />Feel like yourself with her<br />Feel like her hero<br />Walk with confidence, instead of egg shells<br /><br /><br />How do you find a woman with a good sense of deservedness? Mark Cunningham:<br />High self esteem can describe her goals independently<br /><br />Other ways to identify self-esteem.<br /><br />In the game “The Cube” (described in full detail in the appendix) there are several parts of the image. The cube represents the player's image of himself or herself. A cube that is small in the perspective of the scene suggests that the player thinks of themselves as insignificant or modest while a larger cube suggests the opposite. A cube on the ground indicates the player is "down to earth," while a floating cube may indicate a dreamer. The material of the cube is also of interest.<br /><br />Handwriting analysis (grapho analysis)<br />In handwriting high self esteem appears as a t bar crossed at or close to the top of the stem. A “t” bar crossed at the height of middle zone letters like m, o, e etc. indicates low self esteem. A lower case personal pronoun “i” is also a sign of someone with low self image. </p>HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-21269291393662938152009-08-10T18:28:00.000-07:002009-08-10T18:40:38.706-07:00Framing and ReframingFraming and Reframing<br /><br />What is reframing? First let’s define what a frame is. Basically it is the context that you use when you look at a situation. Another way of saying this is that you can’t always control what happens to you, but you can control how you choose to perceive it and respond to it. People are “meaning making machines” and the meaning that you choose to make from something that happens is at the root of how you respond to it. However if you were to change the perspective on how you perceive an occurrence then the impact of that event would be different. <br /><br />For example when you look at a picture you could zoom in on it really close and see things one way or zoom out and see things in a different way. Perhaps you have seen those commercials for air filters that show you what a dust mite looks like when you zoom in 1000%. Pretty scary huh? Or you could zoom out and not even notice that it was there from your normal field of vision. <br /><br />Reframing then means consciously choosing to change the frame that you view a situation from.<br /><br />For example suppose you got laid off because of the economic situation, such as what happened to me. You could view it as a gloomy problem that needs to be fixed, worry about it, dwell upon it, but could take months to find another job of the same caliber.<br /><br />Or you could view in as an opportunity to take a vacation around the world, start your own business or write a book. I read an article in the Wall Street Journal that spoke of several out of work employees from the financial sector that climbed mountains and did all kinds of interesting things with their time non that they had the time.<br /><br />Perhaps someone broke up with you and “broke your heart.” You could say it just didn’t work out. Or maybe there were various reasons that the two of you weren’t compatible or maybe it was just the circumstances that were involved. If you felt really bad about the situation, perhaps the way your interpreted it was that somehow you weren’t good enough or something you did screwed it up. <br /><br />However you could also choose to use a different frame of that is what happened and it just didn’t work out. Perhaps the circumstances really had nothing to do with you or what you did. And most importantly a breakup opens up a new space to meet someone wonderful for whatever it is that you are looking for from them.<br /><br />When you first meet someone they might immediately test your frame, your reality to quickly find out who you really are. Your responses to someone’s behavior will tell them much about you and of course you can do the same to them. However good you are at faking emotions and behaviors at a certain point you may run into problems if your beliefs do not back up the behaviors that you are trying to convey. <br /><br />For example if you are trying to act confident and self-assured but actually still feel insecure then something in your body language, movements, facial expressions or voice tonality are going to give you away. <br /><br />The key is to create your confident frame so that your communication, behavior and responses to other people’s communication and behavior matches up. How do we do that? There are many different tools and ways to build it up. But it starts with identifying the beliefs about yourself and about women that are going to be helpful in getting you the kind of success you have always desired with women.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-74703540788265121902009-08-07T12:55:00.000-07:002009-08-07T12:56:24.875-07:0093% of your communication is non-verbal and what you can do about itIt has been commonly said that 93% of communication is nonverbal. While this number comes from a study made years ago and is hard to pin down as an absolute percentage it is commonly accepted fact that a vast majority of your communication comes from your body language, body movements, voice tonality and other communication besides your words.<br /><br />With his knowledge in mind, is it still important what you say? Yes it is. <br />You don’t want to say things that will screw things up for you by setting off red flags or by making you appear unattractive.<br /><br />Text messages or emails only involve words so in those cases all you have to use are your words.<br />1. However in any face to face interaction your body language, body movements, eye contact, positioning, voice volume and tonality are all going to be the majority of your communication and how she perceives and responds to you as a person. Your non-verbal communication is always going to show through. <br /><br />In phone conversations your words are slightly more important but a huge amount of your communication is going to come down to your voice inflection, tone, tempo and pacing. That is why it is important to develop your vocal range and ability to project emotions.<br /><br />2. Your non-verbal communication is a reflection of your current state of mind and the underlying attitudes and beliefs that constitute your frame of mind. In order to lead her congruently remember this principle: You must go first<br /><br />Therefore to communicate congruently you need to be able to go into an emotional state so that your words match what you are actually feeling. This can be a general high energy state of mind or it can be one that matches with a specific story or specifically crafted language pattern. <br /><br />Communication for seduction and generating attraction is emotional and not logical. Your non-verbal communication has to be able to lead her into progressively more powerful states of mind. Therefore you need to be able to capture and lead her emotions by generating emotions in yourself and then using those to guide your communication to lead her where you want her to go. <br /><br />3. People do not always know if you are telling the truth or not, however they can identify if your communication is congruent or not. By developing your ability to calibrate to other people’s communication you can better understand where they are at in terms of their emotional state. Also the reason that people test you is if they don’t think that you are congruent, that not all parts of your communication match each other or match what you are saying.<br /><br />For example your words could be bold and cocky but your voice sounds weak and insecure. This would create a situation where you would be incongruent in your communication. Either they will not believe you at all, or if there is any doubt they will test you.<br /><br />While practicing “good” body language and posture and working on your voice tonality is helpful, it ultimately has to come from the right emotional state and be a reflection of your attitudes and beliefs. This is where inner game and outer game meet, in the congruence of your emotional communication. This is point where you start to become a “natural” with women so that when your communication is effectively aligned with what you want you know that you can get what you want.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-48925699474802244522009-08-07T10:34:00.000-07:002009-08-07T10:42:31.721-07:00What do women want from men, sex and relationships in their early 20s?In addition to being in touch with what you want when it comes to women you also need to consider what the woman you are attracted to is looking for. There are many men out there that just assume that a woman is always looking for an exclusive relationship. This is simply not true. It doesn’t mean that these women are not interested in sex though, as long as it can occur for them in a way in which they can feel good about themselves and their decision. Part of the way to do this is to demonstrate an understanding of where they are in their life when it comes to their career, their lives, sex and relationships.<br /><br />Let’s take a look at one subset of women that I have had a large amount of experience with that are often not looking for a long term committed relationship. In my experience women that are just out of college about 22 – 25 are often not looking for a serious relationship. This is great as long as you are certain that you are also not looking for a serious relationship. However as I learned the hard way attempting to pursue a longer term relationship with a woman of this age can setup you up for disappointment and heart break. Then can be because she perceives a “relationship” as getting in the way of her dreams and goals that are part of her life plan.<br /><br />After much reflection and by talking to many, many different women ranging in age from 22 to well into their 40s and 50s I have come up with several reasons why women in their early 20s are not looking for a long term relationship. Much of this comes down to how they see their life developing when it comes to balancing career and family. Before they “settle down” to a married life with kids there are other life goals they want to accomplish. <br /><br />1) The want to focus on their career and/or grad school and make sure it is on track.<br /><br />2) They want to travel, see new places and have exciting stimulating experiences.<br /><br />3) They want to take from the energy and emotion that goes into a relationship and focus it on self development. Most have probably had at least one serious relationship in college and maybe one in high school too and are now ready to develop their own identity apart from men. Some women I have talked to describe this as being a burden or feeling tied down.<br /><br />4) They want to experiment and explore different possibilities with different men. Part of this is realizing that they enjoy sex and that there are many possibilities beyond a traditional monogamous relationship out there for them to explore. This energy to explore is further pent up by an acceptance of sex outside a traditional “committed relationship” as acceptable for them.<br /><br />Another thing to consider is that a woman in her early 20s is typically feeling that she is at or near the peak of her physical attractiveness and desirability to men. Generally she knows that she will have the most choice with men based on her physical attractiveness at this stage in her life than she ever will, so now is the time to work with it.<br /><br />This is not to say that there are many women that are very physically attractive that are older than their early 20s. I have met and enjoyed the company of many women that are older. However attractive women at this age are constantly getting a lot of attention from men and can feel confident that even if they meet a great guy that would be great, that there will be others coming along when it fits their life plan to meet a guy and “settle down” into a relationship.<br /><br />5) They want to do all of these things while they are young and before they prepare to settle down and have a family. Oftentimes women may have been advised this way by friends, their parents and others. Be young, do your thing and then if you want to have kids, do this while you are still young and have energy to keep up with young kids. <br /><br />If a woman thinks that the relationship is moving in a direction that is too serious or heading in the direction of marriage then she will freak out or get scared off and they will pull away. This is important to consider because at this early 20s stage of a woman’s life women can be just as afraid of commitment as men are stereotyped to be, maybe even more so.<br /><br />This freakout over whether or not a relationship is in line with her life’s goals is a distinct phenomena from other reasons why a woman might pull away from you such as:<br /> <br /> 1) She is losing interest in you or the relationship with you.<br /> <br /> 2) She is interested in other guys and wants to pursue those options.<br /><br /> 3) The relationship is good and she is attracted to you, but she is determined to sabotage it because she doesn’t believe she deserves a good relationship with a guy she really likes. <br /> <br /> 4) She is still getting over being burned in the past and is afraid of getting emotionally hurt again.<br /><br />Therefore it is possible that even if you have a good, healthy relationship with a woman in her early 20s it can end for reasons that have nothing to do with you or with the quality of the relationship between the two of you. If you keep these ideas in mind and are true to yourself about what you really want out of women and relationships, then you are in a better place to get what you want and also give her what she wants. <br /><br />What should you expect from a woman in her early 20s? <br />She might be good for a short term exclusive relationship, casual friends with benefits, one night stands or longer term non-exclusive dating arrangements. However oftentimes she will not be looking for that one guy that they want to be in a committed relationship with and later marry. <br /><br />With that in mind know that by demonstrating an understanding of women in their early 20s and where they are at in life you can set the stage for alternative arrangements to an exclusive relationship. Know what her dreams and goals are. Before you get past a certain point of being too emotionally invested in her, ask. <br />At what age is she looking to start a family? <br />What does she want to accomplish in her life before starting a family? <br />Does she believe in a traditional family or does she never want to get married and/ or have kids?<br /><br />Knowing these answers will be key as you choose how you want to pursue your interactions with her and knowing what you can expect from her.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-84773675185693950212009-08-07T09:31:00.000-07:002009-08-07T10:24:11.951-07:00What do you "really" want when it comes to women, sex and relationships?As someone who first discovered the seduction/ PUA community and has applied the teachings for over 10 years I have had many different experiences with women, many of them “Same Night Lays” where we met and went home very soon after we met. I have also had multiple long term relationships and even exclusive longer term relationships. Many of my Same Night Lay experiences turned into longer term “friends with benefits” or exclusive long term relationships. However developing and managing longer term relationship requires a different set of skills than just picking someone up and escalating the level of attraction.<br /><br />Before you go out looking for women to pickup you must first get in touch with yourself and your expectations when it comes to women, sex and relationships. Where you are at in your life as it relates to women? What it is you want out of your experiences with women? It can be harder than you would think at first. Knowing what you want requires self awareness and a willingness to be truthful with yourself even if it goes against the way you think things “should” be.<br /><br />In my experience many of my clients have thought they should want a relationship because that is what they believe a “nice” “respectable” guy should do. However they really just want to have sex, but somehow feel guilty or “bad” about their desires. Perhaps you want to have multiple relationships, multiple sex partners but are struggling with your own beliefs about whether it is right or not. <br /><br />Conversely you might think you just want to pickup women for sex and not want a ongoing relationship where you get emotionally involved, but you actually really want a relationship. That’s where I’ve found myself before, thinking I just wanted sex with many different women when I was actually looking for a relationship. However I did not realize I wanted a relationship until I met a woman I was highly attracted to bring it out, at a time and stage in life where I was looking for it. Next we’ll look at how a woman’s stage in life can affect what she is looking for when it comes to men, sex and relationships.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-77345108441391115062009-03-30T11:33:00.000-07:002009-03-30T11:39:30.817-07:00Breaking up is hard to do: advice on how to examine your past relationships and move onOne thing that is important before you can move forward in your life is to make sure that you are ok with what has happened in the past. Sometimes the best way we know how to deal with emotionally hurtful situations is to move on without reflecting upon the past. However if you find yourself stuck in an area of your life including your romantic/ sex life, consider that there are events and issues from past that you have not resolved yet.<br /><br />The relationship is over and you are feeling bad. Build yourself up without putting the other person down.<br />• List things about you that make you a great catch<br />• List things about who you were being as a person in the relationship that were great<br /><br />What lessons could be learned from what you did while in the relationship and what kind of person you were being?<br />• Did you maintain a healthy balance in your life?<br />• Did you continue to make progress on your own professional and personal goals and needs or lose them to the “relationship?”<br />• Are there things you would do differently next time?<br />• Was the other person meeting your needs in the relationship? Were you meeting there’s?<br /><br />What reasons are there that it would not have worked out? As you list the reasons do this in an objective way where you are not making what either you or the other person did wrong, even if they did something that was very hurtful to you. Consider that from the other person’s perspective that the root of their actions toward you involved them and not you.<br />• Were there external circumstances that got in the way?<br />• Was she or you looking for the same thing at the same time? Be honest.<br />• Were there differences in personality or childhood upbringing that would have been deal breakers?<br />• Did you guys see the world in very different ways? Different value and philosophies, ways of thinking?<br />• Make sure the reasons are not just blaming you or blaming her, but were problem points.<br /><br />What was good about the relationship and what you did that you can carry with you for the future? Just because it didn’t work out, know that if it lasted for any length of time there were some redeeming qualities that you can build upon for yourself and that you can look for in a future relationship.<br />• Things you did<br />• Things she did<br />• Experiences and activities that you shared<br />• How you treated each other<br /><br />How did the breakup go down? In the midst of powerful emotions it is easy for there to be miscommunication. It is also easy to give meaning to things that were said or done which may not really be true.<br />• What actually happened vs. the meaning that you give them.<br />• what did she do?<br />• what did you do?<br />• what did you and her actually say? What reasons did you give each other?<br /><br />Some advice on a clean breakup<br />• Cut communication cold for a long enough period of time to reset how you think about each other.<br />o This is the only way to avoid getting back together again and prolonging the relationship.<br />o Do not hold onto the past it will cause one of you or both of you some pain<br />o Realized that time not spent communicating with your ex is time to work on yourself, reconnect with friends and build positive experiences that allow you to move on<br />o Long enough could be anywhere from 3 months to a year or more to never talking again. A good guideline might be until after you and her have moved into your next relationship.<br />o Don’t communicate again until you are ready for it to be in a different way other than as a romantic or sexual relationship.<br /><br />• If you have gotten back together again consider the reasons why you have broken up before.<br />o Unless the original reasons have been resolved then you will probably breakup again and it will prolong the pain and prolong the time until you move onto a better relationship.<br />o Consider why you haven’t moved on, why you are still holding onto the past? Is it fear that you can’t do better. Do you just like the drama and excitement the breaking up and getting back together generates.<br />o Consider why they haven’t moved on.<br /><br />There are a few cases where it might be worth trying to get back together again with someone. One case would be if the relationship was fundamentally solid, there were not significant unresolved issues, it was making both of you happy, but external circumstances got in the way. This could include:<br />o One of you is moving away for a long period of time for a job, for education for the armed forces. And that it would be almost impossible to meet in person on a regular basis.<br />o One of you is looking for more commitment than the other. This could include one person wants an exclusive relationship and the other person does not, one person wants to get married and the other does not, one person wants kids and the other does not.<br /><br />• If the reasons that led to the breakup have changed, i.e. you are now living in the same area or you are now ready for the same level of commitment, then go ahead and give it a shot. Realize that first you and the other person must both be complete with the past in such a way that neither one of you hold any anger or resentment toward the other.<br /><br />So those are my thoughts on breakups and some advice on how you can learn from them and move on to a happy and fulfilling future.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-38312698550259549172008-12-11T15:46:00.000-08:002008-12-11T15:47:06.642-08:00If she is interested keep goingOne mistake I have seen many men make as they start learning to become more confident with women is that they make some progress with a woman and then stop. Perhaps the conversation stalls momentarily after they have some strong initial interest. Or maybe you start trying some methods of communication that are new to you, i.e. humorous banter, being more teasing and challenging to the woman and they are working but then you slow down or stop doing what was working. The advice I have is if things are going, then KEEP GOING until you get to a point where you can’t go any further and then wait until that point and then stop.<br /><br />This is where playing it “safe” can really be a problem in part because you have lost sight of your goal. Assuming your goal is to have a sexual relationship with a woman that you are attracted to and have started talking to it might be tempting to stop at some point and ask for a phone number. Depending on the logistics of the situation this might not be a bad thing. For example you meet at a coffee shop or some other time where one of you has to go for some reason that can’t be changed, i.e. getting back to work etc. However if you could have continued the interaction you are better off doing it right then while you are in a good state and she is also in a good state.<br /><br />One concept that I think is very important in any area of life, but especially in your communication with women is momentum. If things are going well, let the good times roll. However if things are interrupted you do have rebuild some of the emotional states that you have established before. This advice is not meant to be universal, sometimes you do need to stop because of logistics or circumstances, however being resourceful and focused on your end goal will keep you on track if you want to keep it going.<br /><br />Another important concept is to be determined to do what works. I don't mean this in a way in which you are compromising your values or doing anything deceitful. Rather I mean do things that are getting results rather than doing what you are familiar with if it was not working in the past. Changing the way in which you communicate with women won't always be easy or feel comfortable, but if you are committed to pushing the envelop then you have a chance of getting results that might go beyond what you ever could have imagined was possible.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-85999741771408820312008-12-11T15:07:00.000-08:002008-12-11T15:08:46.563-08:00Be Observant - Demonstrate awareness and understanding of her realityOne key to building rapport and to leading a social interaction is the ability to demonstrate authority and understanding of what is real in her world. By authority I don’t mean the kind of authority that involves dictating what someone can and cannot do. The kind of authority I mean is to demonstrate understanding and awareness of who she is as a person, what her current situation is and what she is probably thinking. By real I mean that each person's reality is uniquely different. This includes what is going on, what is important to her and how she responds to what is going on around her.<br /><br />A technique for building this understanding and authority is to verbalize what is happening in the present moment with her and her surrounding environment to demonstrate understanding. One thing you can do is to “call out the elephant in the room.” For example if something happens that is obvious that she noticed or that is distracting, such as a bar fight where the bouncers roughly escort someone out of the room then you should mention this. Another example would be to make a humorous observation on some guy trying to hit on a friend of hers.<br /><br />Demonstrating awareness of the surrounding environment can be used as a way to get her comfortable with following your lead. For example, wow there’s a big fight over there, let’s take a few steps over this way. Basically any observation that is used to pace her reality can be an opportunity to lead and see if she will follow your lead. Even simply moving a few steps from where you are presently standing can make a difference in terms of getting her to begin to follow your lead. <br /><br />Or you could make an observation about her body posture, how she carries herself, or her facial expression and turn it into something akin to a cold read. Right or wrong the fact that you noticed something about her besides physical attraction. the current environment like, “it looks like you are out with your friends for a girls night out. Perhaps we should hang out some other time when there are not all of these other things going on.” Whether the observation turns out to be true or not it is another way to get an idea of what kind of logistics you are dealing with without asking it as a question. <br /><br />By verbalizing your observation, it gives her the opportunity to explain how she knows the people she is around and it gives you a way for you to figure out the logistics to plan your night. For example she could say, “I don’t really even know most of these women, and came here separately.” Or she might say “yeah, I haven’t seen these girls in awhile, but I’d love to talk to you some other time.” That way you know early on in the evening whether you should build toward taking her home that night or if you should build some rapport but know that you’re better off angling for a phone number or schedule another time to meet.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-52685323500600467072008-12-11T14:57:00.000-08:002008-12-11T14:58:42.188-08:00Putting Women on a PedestalOne thing that men do and especially those who haven't had as much success with women - is they tend to put a woman on a pedestal based on their attraction to her physical appearance. This crush gets compounded if he mistakes polite friendliness for sexual interest, without ever getting to know who she is as a person or establish if she is actually attracted to him. The phenomenon of projecting positive characteristics on to someone because they like them is known as the “halo effect” in psychology.<br /><br />Making a woman "perfect" in your mind completely screws up how you would pursue a potential relationship with her. A much better approach before you project too many positive qualities onto her is to talk to her with an open mind while actively looking for and screening for the non-physical appearance qualities that you desire in a woman. Before you project things onto her talk to her with an open mind and see what you see about her. You might find that while she was physically very attractive to you at first that it fades when you learn more about her. Observe and see how she responds to you and to what you are communicating. Is she attracted to you or just being friendly and polite?<br /><br />Know that if you attempt to buy her things or be “nice” without her first having accepted that she is attracted to you it will be seen by her as attempting to buy or beg your way into her pants. Women are used to men doing things to try and win them over, and while it might make them feel good it does not build feelings of attraction or respect for the man who is attempting to buy her affection. A strong, valuable guy does not need to buy anything because he will desired by her just because of who he is. Some women might take advantage of what is being freely given toward them, drinks, gifts etc. but have not have expectation of giving themselves in return.<br /><br />If you proceed to do or say “nice” things without doing anything to establish that you are interested in her for reasons besides her physical attractiveness (qualifying her) then she could easily conclude that her physical attractiveness is the only thing you are interested in, rather than who she is as a person. If you intrude too much into her space or her time, physical touching when she is not attracted to without her being attracted to you if will tend to drive her away and you will be seen as “creepy.”HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-20444273024329970612008-12-05T14:08:00.000-08:002008-12-05T15:16:25.014-08:00Continuing to be a challenge: 6 tips that apply to developing and maintaining a longer-term relationshipAs your interaction progresses with a woman, past the first 15 -20 minutes and possibly developing into a longer-term relationship where you see each other on a regular basis you need to be able to keep up the challenge and keep things fresh. Here are 6 tips that apply to developing and maintaining a longer-term relationship that go beyond the ones mentioned in the other post “Be a challenge.”<br /><br />Part of being a challenge is not just knowing how to challenge her but to be a man who challenges her just by your way of being and living. Are you someone that she can learn from? Do you know how to engage her intellectually, emotionally and sexually? Are you a dynamic person who has goals and is expanding and developing the kind of person he is? Many of these tips naturally follow from being a person with an interesting and dynamic life.<br /><br />1) Physical Scarcity/ having limited time<br />Another situation which creates a challenge is when there are barriers to how often you could meet up if ever again. Perhaps you have had this kind of experience before, where you were traveling and you hooked up with someone. Or maybe it was the reverse situation where the woman you met was the one who was traveling and you hit if off and things turned sexual very fast because it was now or never. This type of situation can also exist with time and distance scarcity if you make it clear that you have a very busy work and social schedule with time being scarce, live in another city and/or are frequently traveling for business. If the two of you are seeing less of each other than you would like it will intensify the desire. <br /><br />2) Emotional/ committed relationship scarcity<br />Another way of stating this would be to keep deeply emotional statements along the lines of I love you or are we in a relationship conversations from happening too soon. Too much emotional availability too fast can be seen as needy, or just too much and can scare off a woman who is worried about being with a needy guy or who sees emotional commitment as a threat to her self image as independent and non-needy. Some women will even directly say that they are not looking for a relationship, as I discuss in the article “What if she says she’s not looking for a relationship.” One interpretation of that statement from her is that she doesn’t want the emotional side of the relationship to be forced on her, she needs to feel that she is reaching for it when she is ready. However you want to balance this scarcity and “going slow” on the relationship front with being unavailable to the point of just not being able to be there when she is ready for it and it is appropriate. Being unavailable at this point (usually after 6 – 10 weeks of consistent interaction) will drive many women away too, except for those that really want an emotionally unavailable guy to chase with little chance of success which is usually not a good thing. <br /><br />However by saying early on the interaction (preferably before sex) that you are not looking for a relationship is one way to create a challenge for the woman to overcome. You are not a person who NEEDS a relationship to fill their time or fill a void, you are a person with many competing interests that could make you a great person to be in a relationship with, but that has to be earned over time by a woman based on the relationship that develops between the two of you and not given away to try and get her to like you or have sex with you. While saying you are not looking for a relationship may drive away some women, if you clarify the meaning as I just described a confident open-minded woman that is secure in her desirability and her desire for you will be that much more motivated to win over your heart. And if you really want that then you can let her be successful and she will feel that much more accomplished and secure in a resulting relationship knowing that you weren’t just going to give yourself away.<br /><br />3) Challenge her self-knowledge<br />Another way to challenge her is to ask questions that require her to think at a deeper level. For example if she says she is a teacher, ask her what about teaching that she finds most challenging/ fulfilling. This will get her to think in ways that are different, stimulate more interesting conversations that go beyond the normal small talk that people are used to having. It will also give you important insight into how she thinks and what is important to her. <br /><br />4) Intellectual Challenge<br />For example suppose you have established a certain level of rapport the first time you have met or maybe the second time when you are at a place where it’s easier to talk without distractions. If she is a more intellectual person, who likes to discuss theories and ideas then talking about topics and ideas that engage her mind and challenge her views and opinions are good. The key is to be able to have discussions where you and her can learn new things rather than have arguments where one person is trying to prove the other person wrong, or that they know more than the other person, or get them to change deeply held political or religious believes. <br /><br />5) Be interesting, introduce her to new experiences<br />Other ways you can be challenging are to be an interesting person who introduces variety into your life, and introduces her to new ideas and experiences. This can include going to places and events where you do interesting things. This could include everything from a hike to a museum to a kinky fetish club, it all depends on who you are and what you think she might be open to. <br /><br />6) Keep things interesting and intense sexually. <br />You don’t have to do anything too crazy, sometimes even slight variations in technique or in the romantic touches you put on the evening can add much to the experience. The key is to make things really good for her, and she will feel the challenge to reciprocate back by learning new things herself. <br /><br />So there were 6 more ways that you can continue to be a challenge that go beyond first moments of meeting her, that can also apply to developing and maintaining a longer-term relationship.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-3594763023677638142008-12-04T15:04:00.001-08:002008-12-04T15:04:42.764-08:00Be challengingOne key element to attracting a woman and keeping her interested over time is to be challenging to her. However there are many ways in which you can be challenging and the ways that you will be challenging will change over time as you interact with her and on the personality of the woman you are interacting with. <br /><br />Before I discuss different ways in which you can challenge her, let’s talk about why you need to be challenging. Most women who are even moderately attractive get a lot of attention from guys even if they might complain about not getting enough. They have gotten used to the idea that most men are interested in them just because of looks alone. However they are often most attracted to the guys that they are genuinely interested in who they are and that they feel they have to work for and pursue at least a little bit. As a general rule, the more attractive a woman is, or thinks she is, the more of a challenge you need to be to engage her interest.<br /><br />Another reason for a challenge relates to a woman’s self-esteem, generally a woman with higher self-esteem and goals will need more of a challenge to get her interest and keep her interested over time. <br /><br />As far as the kinds of challenges that you need to provide: when you first meet a woman one of the ways in which you can be a challenge is to actively demonstrate that you are not entirely interested with her until she has done some things to demonstrate that she is an interesting person besides being physically attractive. <br /><br />1) Scarcity/ Physically unavailable<br /><br />When you first meet a woman one of the first things you will want to do things that test and challenge her to find out what kind of person she is. There are many ways to do this, one way is to provide what is often called a false time constraint, i.e. “I can only stay a moment and then I have to get back to my friends,” accompanied by body language that shows you do not intend to stick around. A false time constraint does many things, although one of the reasons it is effective at generating interest is by making you a challenge, which will make them know that they have to be friendly and demonstrate interest in you or else you will not stay.<br /><br /><br />2) Tease her/ demonstrate disinterest mixed with interest<br />Another way to challenge her, especially during the first moments after meeting her is to playfully tease her and she will probably tease you back. The reason for this is to show that while you may be interested you are not just going to fall for her just because she is physically attractive and that you do not need her approval. The key here is to adjust and calibrate your teasing to her personality so that you are not hurtfully insulting her. A good guideline is to tease her about something that she would consider to be a strength rather than something she would be self-conscious about. Or do things like compare her to a little sister or friend. This challenges her to make you want her romantically and sexually. <br /><br />3) Challenge her on qualities that do not involve her physical appearance<br />Other ways to be challenging include challenging her self-image in a way that includes presenting a personal quality that you look for in a woman. For example you could say something like “I like adventurous women, what is one of the most adventurous things you have ever done?” Some things to look for in her response include how much is she trying to impress you, as well as how genuinely interesting she seems to be. Some women might feel put on the spot and not know what to say, in which case you could share one of your stories first and recalibrate.<br /><br />Remember to smile or mix in with a compliment when you tease. This will soften the impact of your words and convey a mixed message that is playful and positive while also keeping her guessing. With practice over time you will get better at this and also adapt to your personality and adapt to the personality and the mood of the woman you are talking to.<br /><br />That is all for now in terms of initial challenges. I will also discuss more challenges that you can use later in the interaction as you escalate the interaction emotionally and sexually. Also learn how to be challenging in the context of a relationship too.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-54936434778301850212008-12-03T15:32:00.000-08:002008-12-03T15:52:58.493-08:00What if she says "I'm not looking for a relationship"Q: How do I adjust my approach to a woman who says she is not looking for a relationship? I am in my mid 30s and have gotten past the stage of chasing women just for one-night stands. I have come across some women that say early on in the conversation that they are not looking for a relationship. How should I interpret and respond to what they are saying?<br /><br />A: There could be a couple reasons why the women you are talking to are saying this depending on the context. First things first, I will say that while a woman might say that she is not looking for a relationship, and may believe to be true about herself that can change if she meets a man that she is attracted to that lets her pursue him in a way that she doesn’t feel pressured about the relationship. <br /><br />1) One possibility is that the woman feels she is getting the idea that you are looking for a relationship right now from you and/or what you are saying, is not attracted to you and is looking to disqualify herself as a way of rejecting you in a polite and non-confrontational manner. Depending on how the interaction is going you could just take this as a cue to move along or reset the frame and continue.<br /><br />2) Another possibility is that she has recently gotten out of a relatively long-term relationship and has not been actively pursuing men or accepting advances from men when she normally would for some period of time, ranging from as little as a week or two, to maybe a few months. Since she does not think she is ready for a relationship, she wants to let you know that and see if you are ok with continuing the interaction. <br /><br />I think this is a potentially ideal situation because you can have a friend with benefits type of situation that may turn into a relationship or it might turn into a close friendship where she introduces you to and helps you with other women. <br /><br />In my experience this has often been an indicator of a woman who<br />1) Is not as emotionally needy and has a life that is already pretty full. <br />2) Is fiercely independent and prideful, might describe herself as a feminist, may have been raised by a single mother or views her mother as having been a strong woman and expects to be actively and equally involved in any relationships that she gets into.<br />3) May have had relationships before that started based on sex and then later became more of a relationship. She may take a little longer to completely open up on an emotional level and is comfortable with her ability to keep sex and emotional attachment separate.<br /><br /><br />So how should you respond? Simple agree with her. There are a couple different ways you can do this depending on your personality and the vibe that you have with her. You could be direct and seriously relate with her say something like, great, neither am I and just go on with the conversation. I often continue by saying something that agrees with them and demonstrates understanding or you could be funny and bust on her about talking about a relationship when you are not already going that direction. Just say something like, “I know, sometimes you are just not looking for a relationship and are already happy and your life is already full between work, friends, and hobbies. But a person’s still got needs …”HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-55610508036531358692008-12-02T13:51:00.000-08:002008-12-02T14:17:33.911-08:00Have interesting engaging conversationsOne of the biggest problems I have heard guys mention is that it appears a woman is interested in them but the conversation becomes boring and then dies out. There can be many reasons for this, however the solution is learn how to lead and direct dynamic interesting conversations that build attraction and an emotional connection. To develop an interaction with a woman in a romantic way you need to be able to capture and lead her emotions and that also engages her in a challenging way. This is where it helps to have stories and routines prepared to help get past the period of initially getting to know each other and establishing some basic rapport. Having an idea of what you can say also helps you relax and pay more attention to her without worrying what to say next.<br /><br />Some good routines include handwriting analysis, which is easy to learn to use and implement using a product called the grapho deck. Other routines include tarot cards, magic tricks, the cube and many more. Knowing one of two routines gives you something to do with the woman which involves her active participation, is emotionally engaging, and challenges her to prove herself in a way that goes beyond her physical appearance. Depending on the kind of routine it can take anywhere from 5 – 20 minutes early on in the conversation and it will introduce topics and reveal things about her that can provide hooks for other things you can talk about. <br /><br />Another technique that you can do is ask questions that get require a deeper level of thought for her to answer them. For example if you ask a woman what she does for a living and she says that she is a teacher you can then add some depth to the conversation by asking a question like, so what is it about teaching that you find most interesting/ fascinating/ compelling. This will get her talking in a way that gets her thinking about and talking about deeper more meaningful concepts. You can then continue to build rapport by actively listening and by building upon what she says with your own stories. <br /><br />Another conversational style is to have humorous banter. This is a conversational skill that you can learn to build by being cocky and by busting on her in a funny way that is challenging and shows that you do not take her too seriously. If you have a sarcastic wit you might do this naturally with friends and others that you are already close to. The key is to realize that you can talk to someone you have known only a brief period of time as if you have already known them for a longer period of time. This can build feelings of comfort and familiarity as well as create an atmosphere where you are not taking her too seriously or trying to be too nice, something that many men instinctively do when they are talking to an attractive woman.<br /><br />So there you have a couple tools and approaches to creating interesting conversations. Stay tuned for more tips and techniques that develop this concept.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-24973867540363266972008-12-01T17:21:00.000-08:002008-12-01T17:33:06.448-08:00Be a Great ListenerAnother part of being fully present is in being able to listen to what others have to say and allow them to really feel heard. One of the biggest complaints that women make about men is that they aren’t good at listening. However it has been my experience that a man who demonstrates that he is a good listener while at the same time being strong and masculine is always in demands. <br /><br />While being a good listener is a powerful way to generate rapport and build an emotional connection with a woman, there may be some situations as you are first meeting a woman where fully demonstrating those skills may be limited. For example there are times when you are initially getting to know a woman before you have established the seduction frame where you want to take care that you don’t come across as too needy. However once you have established an initial degree of attraction and value for yourself you can quickly transition into establishing a connection with your listening skills.<br /><br />Here are a few tips to practice to help develop your listening skills which you can practice with anyone. Developing these skills will in turn help you when it comes to meeting women and help build an emotional connection with them. As you allow the other person to feel heard your own words and communication will become that much more accepted by the other person and that they are more open to your suggestions (which can be a very good thing).<br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Pay attention to the person who is speaking<br /></span></strong><br />1) Maintain eye contact and allow other people to kind of fade into the background such that the person who is speaking to you seems to fill your field of vision. For people who aren’t used to this it might feel a little uncomfortable at first but it is effective at directing your focus and allowing the other person to feel that they have your full undivided attention. <br /><br />2) Quiet your own thoughts that would distract you. This can include your rebuttal to what they would say and also any other thoughts that you may have had outside the present moment. A good way to do this is to repeat back their words in your own voice and allow yourself to create images and feelings to bring to life what they are saying.<br /><br />3) Pause before replying to what the other person says, taking a breath is all the time that is usually necessary. This reinforces that you are actually listening to what the other person is saying and gives them a moment to stop and prepare to listen to you.<br /><br />4) Use open body language when talking to the other person. In other words make sure that your arms and legs are uncrossed and that you are looking directly at the other person.<br /><br />5) As you listen summarize and repeat back what you have heard to make sure that you have heard it accurately and to establish commonality. This can also include repeating back the words that they emphasize or lean on. You might also ask open ended questions to continue the line of thought For example she might say that a trip to Africa “expanded” her awareness of the world and of herself. You might say “so this trip really taught you a lot about yourself and how you interact with other people.” What are some other experiences that you would say have really “expanded” your awareness of the world? <br /><br />6) Contribute your own interesting stories or experiences to build upon what she has said and continue the conversational topic. i.e. I also had an experience awhile back while traveling, although mine was in Europe… Or you can acknowledge what she has said and smoothly transition the conversational topic from one approach to another, i.e. I have found that in addition to traveling I have often had experiences where I can really expand myself in various ways. <br /><br /><br /><strong><span style="font-size:130%;">Be open and non-judgmental<br /></span></strong><br />1) Maintain open body language, to show receptiveness to what they are saying.<br /><br />2) Be aware of the other person’s body language too, are they uncomfortable talking about some things. Notice and acknowledge what they appear to be feeling. This will build rapport and give them an opportunity to share what they are feeling and change the conversation if they want.<br /><br />3) If you disagree with something that the other person says always allow the other person to finish without interrupting. <br /><br />4) If you disagree with them and it’s not important to you, just nod and change the subject. Or if you do disagree and think it is important to express it, do so respectfully in a way that doesn’t make them feel stupid or invalidate them as a person. Differentiate between your disagreement with the idea and your respect and acceptance of the other person. <br />Use softeners like “I understand where you are coming from/ I respect your opinion/ See how you could think that way, however I respectfully disagree / in my experience/ I see things this way/ have a different opinion/ disagree with that approach or idea …”<br /><br />5) If you find yourself having a strong emotional reaction to something that someone has said, ask them to clarify what they said. i.e. “Ok, when you said that did you really mean to say that all men are stupid …”<br /><br /><br />So there are a few things that you can do to develop your skills as an active listener and conversationalist. You will notice that if you focus on 1 or 2 of them every day your conversations with other people will tend to become more interesting and meaningfull.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-36424157640364043142008-12-01T17:08:00.000-08:002008-12-01T17:21:19.690-08:00Being fully present and aware in the momentOne thing that I have noticed over the years is that the times I have been most successful at finding a woman I could really bond with was when I was fully present in the moment. By being fully present, I mean the ability to have your thoughts and awareness be of what is going on the in the present moment around you with people and events. It is common for people to be thinking of ideas in the past, the future or of something different than what is going on right in front of them with the people around them.<br /><br />Not being fully present also has an impact on your awareness of what is happening with others around you. You might miss subtle social cues, including slight shifts in voice tone or body language that can cue you in on what someone is thinking or feeling. Other people might also interpret your lack of being present to disinterest. <br /><br />Another possibility is that you could respond inappropriately to things that other people are saying because of the mood that you are in or the experiences that you have recently had.<br /><br />While there is an abundance of information out there on the spiritual and interpersonal aspects of living in the moment and being fully present, here is an exercise you can do to help improve your overall awareness and intuition.<br /><br />Pebble in the Pond exercise. Before you go out at night, imagine that your field of vision is the surface of a calm pond. Notice what happens if you drop a pebble in the pond and watch the ripples radiate outward from the center of the pond toward the outside. As the ripples radiate out toward the edge of your field of vision, notice all of the things that are going on in your peripheral vision, notice the different sounds that you can hear, how does the air feel, the fabric of your clothes. Later on in the evening when you first enter a venue do this again, the more you do this exercise the more observant you will notice you are becoming to the present environment of any place that you go to. <br /><br />Another technique I will discuss another time that is goes hand in hand with this exercise is active listening. There are many things this involves but being able to focus completely on what someone else has to say and non-verbally acknowledging what they have to say is a good place to start.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-5874707819694151152008-11-26T14:27:00.000-08:002008-11-26T14:29:08.411-08:00Be selective - actively screen for the kind of woman you are looking forOne strongly attractive quality in men is their willingness to be selective with women that they meet and to screen for what you are looking for.<br /><br />1) One reason is that it creates a challenge. Since most attractive women are used to people giving them things and trying to win them over simply because of their looks, the fact that looks alone are not enough challenges her to demonstrate what kind of person she is and what personal qualities make her desirable.<br /><br />2) It also creates and reinforces the frame where you are the prize. An attractive woman is used to being the prize but is most attracted to someone that they perceive to be as valuable as them or more valuable. Your willingness to be selective implies that you are a valuable person and she is going to be curious to find out what makes you attractive. At the same time due to the “halo effect” she will also have the tendency to project positive qualities onto you simply because she believes that you are a valuable person.<br /><br />3) As you meet more and more attractive women you will discover that in the long run you are not going to be happy with a woman just because she is attractive. However you can use your behavior to quickly screen for what you are looking for, drawing women out to reveal more about who they are while also pushing away those who are not as attracted to you. Before spending lots of time and effort getting to know her and developing an attraction with her you might want to first discover if she is the type of person you want to get to know. <br /><br />For example I find it very important that a woman is very sexual and is comfortable with herself and sexuality. Therefore I will be boldly funny and challenging in a sexual way and be sexual in my words and actions and see how she responds. Not all women will respond to that kind of approach, however if she does not respond favorably then you have learned something about her.<br /><br />I also find it very important that I find a woman that I can have an intelligent conversation with. Within the context of being an attractive desirable person that has established rapport with her you can be intellectually challenging by being knowledgeable and able to have an intelligent conversation.<br /><br />4) If you are being challenging and she starts trying to prove herself and her desirability to you, you know that she is attempting to qualify herself to you and believes that you are valuable. Once she does that you know that she is on the hook, then you can draw her in further and also recognize and validate how much you like her in a way that is non-needy and builds trust and comfort.<br /><br />So there you have it, by being selective and actively screening for what you are looking for you are in the drivers seat while being able to find the kind of woman that you want.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3807173385539422245.post-7877984112624025452008-11-26T13:58:00.000-08:002008-11-26T13:59:16.737-08:00Your success with women as an expression of your beliefsOne of the obstacles that can hold men back from their ability to be “successful” with women are their beliefs about women, sexuality, relationships and what is possible. <br /><br /><br />Here are some believes that are will undermine your ability to be successful with women.<br /><br />1) A belief that love and romance (and by extension sex) occur “naturally” without any thought or intent about what you want or how you are going to make it happen. This belief is disempowering in that it implies you do not have any control over this important area of your life. However I am willing to bet that since you are reading this blog you DO believe that you can exercise power and choice in this area life.<br /><br />An important concept I would like to introduce to this topic is that of “locus of control.” Fundamentally this concept asks how much power do you believe you have over what happens in the events in your life. Do you have more of an external locus of control: life happens to you due to factors outside your control or do you have more of an internal locus of control where the people, places and events are something you can control. Obviously you can’t control every thing that happens in life, but there are many things that you can control.<br /><br /><br />2) That women are not as sexual as men or need to be convinced to have sex without wanting and enjoying it for themselves. This belief presupposes that men are going to need to talk women into sex by begging or buying it from them. It also buys into a notion widely spread in the media that women exchange sex for emotional commitment or a relationship. However the notion that you need to buy women favors to “get” them to have sex with you or that you have to exchange an emotional commitment for sex are simply not true. I would argue that if you do need to do that for a particular woman you are talking to the wrong kinds of woman who is not interested in genuinely contributing to an interaction with you.<br /><br />Some women some of the time are not looking for any kind of emotional commitment. Maybe they are young and still in a party phase, maybe they recently got out of a relationship, maybe they are very involved in their career. You can’t always tell just from looking at a woman or even how she dresses or acts, but trust me there are a lot of women that at some stage in their lives are not necessarily looking for a “committed” relationship.<br /><br />Women are also very sexual, if not much more sexual than men. The difference is that women have the ability to compartmentalize sex as a part of their lives in a way that most men don’t. While many women would also like to have a relationship to go with it, they don’t necessarily have to have the relationship before it becomes sexual. In fact some women want to have sex before they get too involved because they want to know that the sexual chemistry is there before allowing themselves to feel more for a man. The powerful feelings created by sex are also a large part of the emotional connection as well.<br /><br />3) That women are somehow weak or vulnerable so you need to put them on a pedestal or treat them gently so as to not hurt their feelings. This is a problem that many “nice” guys have. While chivalry and respect is appreciated, no woman wants to be treated like she is weak. <br />Instead of these limiting beliefs here are some believes that are more powerful in being with women.<br /><br />While the above beliefs will get in the way of your ability to be successful with women, these beliefs will be helpful<br /><br />1) You can control the circumstances and events necessary to attract a woman to you that you want to be with your ability to communicate and with your awareness and intent. You willingness to improve your own self-image, your awareness of others and your ability to communicate will pay dividends in the kinds of results that you get with women.<br /><br />2) Women like sex and want it just as much or more than men. Be honest about what you want, if you are just looking for sex without deliberately pursuing a relationship then be honest about it, she might be at the same place in her life. Your willingness to be honest even though it goes against what many men have been socially programmed to believe will build trust and rapport. This even goes for women that say they want a relationship, some women that say they do at first are doing so because that is what they have been programmed to believe or because they do not want to come across as being easy. However if she is attracted to you she might find a way to make an exception.<br /><br />3) Don’t put a woman on a pedestal. In don’t do or say things, because you are trying to kiss ass to win her over. Also stand up for yourself, call her on her bullshit if she is disrespectful to you. You will find that not only do you feel better about yourself but a woman can actually feel closer to you and trust you more knowing that you are being “real” in your communication with her.HB Magnethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17000176715880229273noreply@blogger.com0