Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Article: Attraction, it's a numbers game

Attraction, it's a numbers game and yes the best way to make a woman your girl friend is to have sex with her. Do it as soon as possible and do it well and pour it on.

I once read somewhere that for every 20 women that an attractive guy walks up to and just says "want to fuck" 1 will say yes. If this is true, and I believe it is if you are congruent and willing to endure some very uncomfortable situations, then all you need to do is approach at least 20 women every time you are out to ensure success.

Now I don't suggest that you start a conversation by saying "want to fuck." But I can tell you that if you have a strong frame, read where the woman you are interacting with is at and calibrate to where she is at, you can pull a girl home within half an hour of meeting her. In fact speed actually works in your favor, because you leverage momentum from the combined power of everything you are doing. Just like in physics Power = work/ time, a lot of work over a short period of time is very powerful, but the same amount of work diminishes over time.

My attitude is that I really don't care about a girl until after I have been with her physically. I'm not needy or approval seeking butindifferent. Any one of a number of attractive women in the venuewill help me achieve my goal which is to get with a woman. Then later I will figure out if I want to develop the relationship into friends with benefits or an exclusive arrangement after I have had sex with her and know how good it is and have gotten to know her at least a little bit more.

Once you've had sex with a woman, the balance of power shifts strongly in your direction, that's one reason for a woman's resistance to sex , a loss of social power in her interaction with you. An average woman has been told things like "why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free" her whole life. But that phrase assumes that sex is a power chip for a woman to with hold to gain power over a man within the traditional dating and marriage frame.
However if your frame is a powerfully biological one, cave man power you can overwhelm social consideration given the right woman at the right time. And at any time in any venue at least any woman is out there looking for sex, so it might as well be you.

Comfort building that involves hours of talk and story telling is not necessary especially if you're dealing with a girl who is just looking to get laid and is comfortable with her sexuality and with having sex just after meeting someone. This includes logically-minded women, women that have recently been burned from a relationship, women who see the ability to separate sex and emotion as powerful (thank you Sex and the City), less experienced women who feel they have been missing out etc. The key is to screen for women that are looking for sex and are already clearly attracted to you right from the beginning. Then be the man and push things forward as far as you can as fast as you can with lots of kino as if you fully expect she will comply until you hit resistance.

Are you a player? Do you do this with every girl? Of course you are, and of course you do, because that's what she is looking for, a strong sexually confident man who goes right after what he wants directly and without apology. She has already come to that conclusion before she asks if you're a player, by asking you she is testing your congruence and honesty as well as indicating interest. Own who you are in a cocky funny way, your openness and honesty conveys power and challenge. It also can act as a false disqualifier to the woman, i.e. would a guy who's trying to get in my pants really be that honest. Ironically this builds comfort and makes you a challenge, while denying it could drive her away.

For any resistance you hit, adapt as necessary based on the conditions. But if you're not getting at least some resistance, you had her at hello, or you're not pushing far enough to generate a high amount of attraction. Touch can be used to build comfort, massage, holding her close, holding her waist, stroking her hair. There is touch comfort and touch for sexual escalation and I alternate and combine them fluidly.

Just realize that if you can get her to grind with you and make out, you've usually got something to work with. But if you don't do anything with her elevated buying temperature, you've missed an opportunity and maybe just handed the next guy a gift – a woman that is horny and ready to go. You usually have to do at least a little comfort building to get her to go home with you, but that's as easy as bouncing her within the same venue, maybe adding some back massage too. Also push-pull tactics are the same, just non-verbal, lean in lean out, grind and then pull back a little and then move back in again, kiss lean back, kiss again. Make sure she is actively getting involved as a participant, maybe get her to grab your ass or feel your body.

As long as she is really horny, and is comfortable with herself and her own sexuality and if you are in rapport and you are also comfortable being sexual she will be comfortable. If you have gotten her to be very horny for 20 minutes or so, test close with a little take away so you can get a read for where you are at. My favorite lines are "let's go someplace more private/ quiet" or "I'm going, but you're welcome to come with me." If you say this in a very casual and matter of fact way and she is draped all over you and has been making out with you for awhile and she is looking for sex that night then you should be good to go. She might counter with some token resistance in which case you just go back to kissing, touching and then try again a little while later and answer any objections by saying "hey, I know we just met, let's just relax and be comfortable, no pressure." Or if its just a matter of logistics and she has to go with her friends you can plan to meet up later that night or the next day to seal the deal.

One time I had a woman say she was ready to go but "not that night." I recognized her objection was simply that she was there with her friends and didn't want them to know what she was doing. I told her to come over the next night to my house at a specific time and text messaged my address to her right then. As if she were a waitress reading back an order she said ok, tomorrow night, your house at 7:00, just sex, right? I nodded, hung around for another minute or two and then bounced to the next venue to continue the hunt.

The differences between what I do and what someone like Mystery would call solid game? What I am doing is easy and simple, I'm screening and qualifying very soon after meeting them. And it won't work most of the time with most of the women, you've got to go through the numbers. But then again any kind of system is not going to work all of the time with all of the women, that's life. At least this way you can find out quickly and move on rather than spend all of your night with someone who is not on the same page as you.

Sometimes I am skipping some steps in the linear MM model, but then
again you can do the same with MM or any method if you calibrate the situation and know what things you can skip. Many systems can appear to be a pretty long, complicated sequences, which is because they try to mimic "natural" attraction that happens already by laying out the element of a seduction as a map so you can stay on course and continuously work to get better.

Every interaction and each woman can be at least subtly different so
you need to flexible and calibrate to the situation and recognize which elements of the seduction are un necessary or have already been covered by the dynamics of the situation. You will get far greater results; less work, more sex, when you view any system as a model, as guidelines for what types of things you need to do, and from which you can improvise, and either skip steps or breeze through them rapidly based on your calibration. "Solid" game where you hit every last step is a great goal, but it takes a lot of patience and work and personally I find it difficult to keep my game tight over 7+ hours and sometimes 2-3 different meetings and maybe a phone call or two in the middle. Its not usually necessary to do that much if you're just looking to get laid and if you miscalibrate and get stuck doing unnecessary steps you are actually less likely to get the girl. Some other guy could sweep into the middle of the attraction and close the deal based on your work or life could get in the way and time undoes your progress. If you give her good sex and build comfort after sex by cuddling and talking it is unlikely you will get buyer's remorse.

All of my LTRs or MLTRs over a 10 year time span began with sex within the first few hours of meeting them and happened on the same night.

Some of the relationships developed from a mostly NLP game, some were from high kino/ sexual escalation models, some were a combination.

Remember once you have had sex with a girl you have some leverage to work with to do it again, because she is invested in the interaction
and especially if you have included comfort building that same night
between rounds of sex you should be all set.