LR 050710 - Same Night Sex, Speed Dating and Text Game

LR 050710 - SNL Speed Dating and Text

Last Friday night I went to a Speed Dating Event at the last minute with Xenakis. In my experience the best opportunities happen before and after the Speed Dating rather than during the 4 minute speed dates themselves. Another key is to get a woman’s phone number on the spot after the event if you were interested in her rather than wait for the match-making people to notify you.

Even though there were more men than women at the event we had a major factor working in our favor: the women were going to rotate while the men would stand in the same place. Earlier in the day I had read that when women were assigned to the traditionally male role of approaching potential romantic partners, they were not any pickier than men in choosing that special someone to date, according to the speed dating study.A key factor in how attracted a man or woman is who is perceived to be the pursuer, which we know has always been a key concept. 

Another challenge to myself was to avoid the "what do you do" and "where are you from" questions by leading with something spontaneous and offbeat from the beginning of each conversation. While the Speed Dating rotation itself had some fun points, I waited for the open bar after party to really make any moves. I caught the eye of a tall brunette (HB Speed Date Brunette) about 5’10, bigger boobs than I thought at first. I started talking to her at an angle and made sure that I always maintained a slight angle so I could get closer to her without being directly face to face. Tired to the small talk from earlier, I went into my normal mode of interacting with women shock and escalate. She asked my name and then I looked at her name tag, making a deliberate point to stare at it a little. After saying her name I paused, “hmm, 36D?” “Guess again” she said” “DD” I replied. She nodded. I said “wow that’s pretty cool you shouldn’t try to hide them away like that.” “There's some free advice for you that I give all of my friends with big beautiful breasts.” We walked over to the open bar to get refills, she had whiskey and coke, I complimented her on that. Ah, a woman that likes whiskey, 5 chick coolness points for you. After some by the bar, she then introduced me to two of her friends, two guys and one girl. I briefly acknowledged each one and spoke to one of them, then jumped back into talking to her while her other friends talked amongst themselves about 10 feet away.

I then transitioned the conversation as we walked over to the couches and sat down. “My friend is going to get food and I’m starving too, but mind if we sit down for a moment. You know it would be much more interesting if people asked, what is one of the craziest sexual adventures you have ever had? Then again then it would have to be Dark Odyssey Speed Dating rather than this event." She asked what is Dark Odyssey? So then I went into my description of the event, yeah there were these classes and it was like a kinky gym where people could rotate from one station to another. My then girlfriend and I went to the place where people were just fucking and did it on a swing right in front of a small crowd. It was awesome (see HB Redhead story for more about that.) She had a little shamrock tattoo on her thigh, the first time I saw that I said oh, I guess this means I’m getting lucky. HB Speed Date laughed. Then I asked her “I don’t suppose you have a tattoo?” It turns out she had two, one on each thigh. “So what’s your freaky story?” She replied, “I’ve had a threesome before. Although it was with a guy friend of mine and his girlfriend, it made things kind of awkward after that, but it was fun.”

Then we were out in Vegas at this event called the Masterful Lover SuperConference and we won a remote control vibrating egg for audience participation. As a field trip we went to a strip club with a remote control vibrating egg in her. I kept flipping it on and off while she had a lap dance with two strippers. It was hot and they kept asking if they could take her home. Then I jumped to the fact that the ex had tattoos and how every woman I had met that had tattoos had a freaky side to her. HB Speed Date Brunette then replied that she had tattoos. I asked her where and she said one on each upper thigh.

She said, "so what happened with the girl?" I said, "she moved away to travel the country as a model. It never would have worked out she was a vegetarian. I’ve concluded that there is something wrong with women that are vegetarians." She agreed. "Yeah, I’ll take a nice juicy steak any day." I then number closed for the time being because I wanted to get a few more phone numbers from some of the women I had spoken with earlier. “I want to say good bye to a few people and then I’m grabbing some food with my friend, but I’ll be around later, I’ll drop you a text once I know where we are at and perhaps we can meet up.” The rest was almost entirely text message.

I have been testing a new philosophy when it comes to text messages and that is that text messages can be used as a way to just continue the conversation and continue the momentum that is already there. This can be a good way to either meet up that same night or to increase the odds that she will answer your call or return a voice message. A few key points on the text message exchange below. Notice my use of weasel phrases, anchors and some humor and how giving my location was enough to get her to give her location. Also notice the sexual escalation, with each favorable reply, I escalate. The key to making this work was that I established the sexual frame early on in the conversation and got her active participation. I also started building compliance from the beginning, we had three mini-bounces, standing spot to bar, to couch. Then the sensual and sexual escalation was the same escalate – compliance – more escalation.


Text Messages
Me: Grabbing food, catch up to you a little later.
Her: Ok, have fun!
Me: Debating going back to the bar
Her: We just left, at the metro
Her: Now in DuPont getting food
Me: We might go to Public at some point
Her: ? I don’t know dc lol
Me: You need a tour guide Miss Tourist
Her: Lol yeah prob .. I stick to va
Me: Yeah? Land of the brown flip flops
Her: Flip flops would be heaven right now!
Me: Oh yeah, that and a foot massage where you can just feel every ounce of tension easing out of your body
Her: Yeah that would be really great to, after the walking I just did
Me: Mmm, a relaxing massage followed by a skillful tongue tracing it’s way along your thighs
Her: That might make me shake
Me: Mmm, as you shake you can already being to anticipate the warmth spreading on down …
Her: Yea cuz it’s def been a while
Me: Awhile eh, I don’t know if you can imagine the feel of a nice thick cock sliding deep inside
(25 minute gap)
Her: Well it better be long too
Me: Long and strong, gotta keep the friction on … Now at Lucky Bar
Her: Back in Bethesda takin my friend home
Me: Care for some company to distress and have some good old fashioned fun?
Her: I don’t have my own place sadly and my feet r really hurtin
Her: Otherwise I might be tempted
Me: Too bad we can’t, I’m out in Alexandria, but you’re now in Bethesda?
Her: Headed to McLean
Me: Driving? Stop by my place.
Her: Should I trust you enough to come over?
Me: I’m as trust worthy as the Big Bad Wolf, I might just have to eat you
Her: Where do you live?
Me: I gave her my address
Her: Can I ask how many people you have been with?
Me: A few
Her: That’s very vague lol
Me: Enough to learn how such clit and hit just the right spots …
Her: Safely I hope
Me: Of course
Her: Let me plug it into my GPS, I’m a mile from my house
Her: I would normally say no, but I’m trusting u
Me: I appreciate it and it will be worth your while
Her: I’ll be there in 20 min
(I left the bar and got home minutes before she arrived)

She came over and those were some very nice breasts and she was good company too. Handwriting analysis revealed no major hell traits After having some good fun talk and more fun, when I walked her out I said we should do this again sometime I’ll be in touch with you soon. She smiled and said sounds good. The next day I sent her a text message "Still smiling from last night see you around sometime soon." Her reply thanks Since then we have exchanged x rated text pictures, good times!

LR 082609 - HB Petite Brunette from Public

I was out with my coaching group after another seminar session. We then went on to the rooftop at Public in DuPont Circle for our infield work. Zengame, ElectroPussyMagnet and Magellan were all getting some solid hooks, including Magellan AMOGing a DC United player, ZenGame working a two set and ElectroPussyMagne amping tension with the chick who gave him road head after leaving the bar.

I was just about to go because I had a business networking meeting early the next morning when I spoke to ZenGame about a two set in the corner and he encouraged me to go in and open even though I was tired and ready to go. I opened by interrupting their conversation, used a false time constraint that I was on my way out the door and then sat down next to the woman I wanted to talk to. She is a petite brunette, Jewish GW student, 21 years old, fun, relaxed, chill vibe, a little bit too much eye shadow but I didn't hold it against her .

Within 30 seconds of talking she became visibly more relaxed as I focused on sustaining a high level of eye contact, having relaxed body posture especially in my shoulders, matching and mirroring her movements and consciously slowing down my tempo and body movement. ZenGame comes in to wing and manages to successfully prevent the friend from having any chance of becoming an obstacle.

She asked me what I do and so I said I teach men how to “become irresistibly attractive to women.” She cracked up and said "what like the Pickup Artist?" I responded well sort of but different, (and then went into my bad boy/ good boy pattern)

It’s about becoming the kind of guy … you know because women have often told me that they have to choose between an exciting, adventurous, highly sexual, bad boy on the one hand (gesture palm up), who may also be a bit of an asshole and not otherwise be good for you (gesture down and away on the same side) OR a guy who is respectable, who you can really connect with, (gesture palm up) who might be kind of boring or not have the balls to stand up for himself (gesture down and away).

But wouldn’t it be great if you could find the best qualities of the exciting, sexual, bad boy (bring left hand in towards in front of me) at the same time as you find someone who you can really be comfortable with and connect with (bring right hand in front me to come together with my left hand). Now, isn’t it great when you can find that in the same person (self point) and look at him through those eyes.

This tranced her just a little bit, so I leaned back a little and spoke about my seminar experience from the past weekend. Then I used the blammo pattern sliding anchor to escalate a visual synesthesia amplifier of a peak experience. At this point the bar was closing so I got her phone number and started walking down the stairs with her. I was planning on going home, but then outside on the street her friends asked where they could find food. I ended up taking HB petite brunette toward the pizza place near 20th and P ST.

While we were eating pizza in DuPont Circle we ended up making out on the edge of the fountain next to a candle light memorial for Senator Ted Kennedy. I initiated the makeout first by gazing deep into her eyes, stroking her hair, massaging her scalp and then massaging her neck. Then I just leaned in and kissed her, cheek then turned to her lips and she started making out right then and there. I stood up so I could lean in and grind against her while she was sitting on the edge of the fountain. At one point she got scared that she was going to fall in the water, but so far so good.

Then I gave her a ride home to her apartment right across from the GW campus. Then I invited myself up to her place, “even though I have to get up early tomorrow, I don’t feel like going to sleep yet, perhaps I could stop by and check out your new apartment for a moment.” I parked on the street, knowing I was not going to be able to stay the night.

We went upstairs and as she left the car I discretely grabbed some condoms out of my glove compartment. Once upstairs one thing led to another but then she started to give me some token LMR. “The panties stay on” she said in a casual tone. I said “well how can I eat your pussy if you’ve got panties on?” This appeal to reason handled the objection just fine. I went down on her through and around her almost transparent salmon colored mesh panties and then just started pulling them off to expose a nice smoothly waxed pussy. She helped by arching her back so I could get them off, “well if you insist.”

After a few moments of oral on her I moved to get on top of her. She said but I’m not going to have sex with you. I just smiled, of course you’re not going to … imagine my thick cock plunging deep inside you … No, I’m just going to stay poised right, here (at the entrance). I rubbed up and down for a moment and then just plunged in with one stroke, no more protests from her I consider this to be token Last Minute Resistance (LMR) rather than anything serious. Basically she was saying I'm going to give just enough resistance so I don't feel like a slut and so that I am a little bit of a challenge so that you'll value the experience.

Between rounds we were talking. She said “do you teach your guys to always sleep with a woman on the first night? It’s not the best way to start a relationship you know.” I smiled and said it’s the only way I’ve ever started a relationship … of any kind whether one-night or long-term. To me it’s not important when you choose to indulge your desires, but rather how powerfully you feel that magnetic attraction … now … with me I find that what’s really important is the power of that connection when you realize that you really appreciate this person’s company and realize that there is no judging, just pleasure … to the point where you want to enjoy it over and over again.

She then said “you are such an amazing person, I mean ooobbbviously when you started talking to me tonight I was attracted to you.” “ooobbb-viously” I responded back to her with a slight hint of mocking irony. “And when you invited yourself up here, obviously I was going to have sex with you.” “Ooobbb-viously” I responded, again mirroring her emphasis on the OB part of obviously. It was interesting to hear her talk through her process of interpreting, justifying and rationalizing everything into place so she could feel good about things. While it was certainly her choice and she was willing to own her sexuality, my lead helped her put some of the responsibility onto me.

After that we kept talking for a bit and it was good spending time with her even if I did not get any sleep that night So there you have it, I've kept in touch since then and it turns out she really is a pretty cool chick with a pretty good head on her shoulders in addition to being fun and DTF.

LR 082309 - HB Sweet Tits shows some southern hospitality in Charlotte

I was in Charlotte hanging out at dinner with about 10 people from the weekend long NLP seminar along with a student of mine who is good enough to be a co-trainer, ElectroPussyMagnet, a name which is well deserved. We were playing around with all of the skills we had learned having fun playing with weasel phrases and embedded commands. ElectroPussyMagnet used some mad NLP skills to shorten our group’s wait time down from an estimated 2 hours to less than half an hour while charming the hostesses at Magiano’s. One of the hostesses even called a friend of her’s and told her to stop by to meet these 2 hot guys. Not a bad way to start our night of language experiments and planned debauchery.

While we were sitting on the patio the woman who the hostess told to meet us walked up to us, I'll call her HB Sweet tits. She came up to the edge of the fence by our group’s table on the patio at Magiano’s and then ElectroPussyMagnet and I started talking to her. She is about 5’6, pale skinned, curvy, blue eyed blonde with nice perky 36 DD’s, chill laid back, generally more of an introvert but she with a hint of a bad girl side she has her name tattooed on her upper back.

ElectroPussyMagnet was doing most of the talking, a blend of cocky funny juiced up with some weasel phrases and embedded commands. She was definitely interested, gave us both her phone number and later sent us a text telling us where to meet her. After talking game with our NLP seminar leader for longer than we had originally planned we finally made it out around 12:30 to a hick dive bar in uptown (formerly called downtown) Charlotte. This not what we had expected after working the upscale clubs at Epicenter the night before which was over run with hot chicks some of whom were buying us drinks and where we both kiss closed two friends that were part of a birthday party.

ElectroPussyMagnet and I quickly decided there was not too many women that we were that into and so we were using anyone and everyone for linguistic target practice, which was great fun. We met up with HB Sweet tits and some of her friends. After a little while HB sweet tits left for the bar to get a drink, Aye and I bailed for the outdoor patio where we could talk more easily. He started making progress with a Hooter’s waitress that was on the rebound after being dumped earlier that day.

I eventually went back inside to see a genuinely sad HB sweet tits “I thought you guys had left without even saying good bye.” I realized at this point that I did not need to be as cocky and challenging, so I gave her a hug, “aw, we weren’t leaving just wandered a little and then got distracted.” Although I might have to go rescue Aye from the Hooter's waitress outside, those women don't take no for an answer.

As I hugged her I started gently stroking her hair and then massaging her shoulder’s and then started kissing her neck. There was no resistance so I pulled back to face her, gazed into her eyes, tilted my head and leaned in for the makeout kiss. After some making out and pressing my leg against her pussy the bar was closing and she was heading out with her friends. ElectroPussyMagnet and I planned to arrange logistics with phone numbers from last night and get some rest for the seminar the next day.

Then we kept up by text:

Her 2:11 am: Mmm you are so sexy. Come back here soon and I’ll show you some southern hospitality.

Me: Mmm that sounds hot, it’s too bad you can’t stop by, it’s not necessary to imagine my thick cock deep inside you

Her: well I have to play somewhat hard to get … Though that sounds fucking amazing

Her: Will you come back soon so you can put your hard cock in my pussy?

Me: Hey I’m leaving tomorrow night but before I leave …

Her: before you leave what?

Me: perhaps we could meet for an early dinner

Her: like what time? I live in south Charlotte. You can come to me

(I didn't get around to responding right away)

Her: aww, don’t you want me? ;-) goodnite

(she then sent her address)

Sunday during the seminar:

Me 10:36am: Ah, and it will have to be an early dinner since I need to get back. But of course your sweet pussy will make a tasty appetizer. I do like to take my time.

Me: As you imagine the feeling of my tongue kissing my way down your body and find yourself anticipating what it will be like when the velvety texture of my tongue is lapping away at your clit …

After the seminar I went over to her apartment and just hung out and talking to her on her couch over a bottle of wine and then took her and ended up staying the night and enjoyed her sweet southern hospitality before heading back to DC bright and early in the morning. Another fun game I like to play guess this cup size. I correctly guessed her cup size, a perky 36DD. The cleavage was totally popping in the tightly fitting tank top that she was wearing when I came over to her house so it wasn’t a difficult guess. She was amazed at my talent and said I was like a “12 year old boy” in my enthusiasm for them. I said “well when you have as much experience with breasts as I do … I would I also went through my language pattern where I create two parts of attraction, the best of the good guy and the bad boy and then combine them together, more detail on that in the next LR writeup from Public last Wednesday.

Key points and lessons learned:

I calibrated down the cocky funny approach to a more kind and gentle approach once I realized that she was already attracted to me, wasn’t giving any shit and seemed to have kind of low self esteem and I got the intuition that she was not used to guys treating her well. Part of the reason I could be kind and gentle yet still escalate the iunteraction into an SNL was because of the travelers frame, that is since I’m only in town now, it’s now or never. This eliminated any resistance because she might want to put me on the relationship track without my having to use lots of challenges or false disqualifiers. You can get away with being “nice” as long as it comes from the frame of her being attracted to you and you being scarce.

Next time I am in Charlotte at least I’ll have a nice place to stay with a friendly big titted blonde Carolina girl

LR Sat 7/18/09 – Tall Brunette feminist volleyball player

On Saturday night I went out in Adams Morgan for the infield portion of my weekend seminar after leading day 1 of my 2 day seminar where I described and then demonstrated some of the various techniques on a female friend of mine. The tentative plan was for our group to meet on the rooftop of Reef, so I got there around 10:00ish before the peak crowds arrived. I was leaning against the bar just sitting back working some non-verbal rapport around the room when I caught eye contact from HB tall brunette as she turned around and looked over her shoulder. Ah, ha got her. I waited a few minutes and then wandered over there.

I opened by acting like I knew her. "Hey! How are you, wow it’s been a long time, how have you been doing?" She and her friend looked like they were trying to figure out how they knew me. She asked how we knew each other and I said high school. She asked where I was from, I’m from Florida she’s originally from North Carolina. I ignored this minor difference in geography and kept going.

I asked her if she had seen any of my friends that I was looking for, many of which had been around for a seminar. From there I went into my main routine stack of seminar speaker/ sexual DHV stories. She asked me what I did and I told her I was becoming a teacher of communication skills to men who are developing their ability to communicate more powerfully with women and to learn sexual techniques to hone their talent as incredible lovers. “It’s about becoming the kind of guy that naturally understands women, the kind of guy you can really connect with (self point) and be attracted to (touch anchor on her shoulder) Then stacked onto the Instantaneous Connection pattern light, skewed more toward rapport and pacing.

Then I launched into the ex stories, which is starting to turn into a DHV routine and theme to launch patterns. I told her about how I met my redhead ex girlfriend at Brass Monkey and pulled her hair and smacked her ass. I told her about the seminar in Las Vegas in January and how the ex had a lap dance with two strippers while I flipped a remote controlled vibrator on and off. How we had sex in front of a crowd at Dark Odyssey, and more. HB tall brunette appeared shocked, oh my god, you’re so sexual. “Do you tell all the women you meet about this stuff?”

I said yeah, pretty much, it’s just part of who I am, I don’t see any reason in hiding it or trying to go out of my way to act polite and appropriate. It’s more fun for me to test and see how much a woman can take. I’d rather scare someone off right away than have them linger here in meaningless small talk thinking I’m someone else. And, honestly after just getting out of relationship I don’t give a damn anymore, the last one will be a tough act to follow, and it’s good being single.

She appeared shocked once again, but said ok, I guess that makes good sense. She was a redhead too? Wow, that’s hot, it must have been intense! My last boyfriend was a ginger like you, those gingers … She paused a little. I can’t belief this, you’re so confident. I’ve never met any guy who talks like this.

I said so what do you make of it? You seem pretty comfortable. She had open body language, and her arms were down at her side.

She said yeah, I don’t feel uncomfortable but you are so different than any guy I’ve ever met before, I’m trying to get used to this. You’re so sexual, but I feel comfortable around you too, this is weird, Who are you? I gave her another touch anchor, ah isn’t it great when you can meet someone who is very sexual (gesture with right hand palm up), and that you can feel comfortable with (gesture with left hand) in the same person (both hands point to self).

At some point, Mad Maverick came into the picture and engaged the friend, it looked like things were going very smoothly so I just kept going. HB brunette’s phone number pulled out her phone and noticed that her battery was dying. I told her that she should get my phone number before the phone died. So I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. Then we went back to talking.


From there we got onto talking about jobs and where we were from and such. She is a woman’s studies major interning at a feminist lobbying organization for the summer before her final semester of college. I teased her for being younger than my little sister. Also might work a peace corp-like job in Africa that would involve extensive travel. She is 5”11, Venezuelan decent, straight Spanish ethnic heritage, nice ass, perky average-sized breasts in a loose top that did not show them off. She asked about my background (Irish and Germanic) her face lit up as sh said oh, you’re a “ginger” with my reddish hair, apparently her ex was also a “ginger” too, so I’m her physical type.

I told her I knew several women who could be described as feminists including some of my longest time girlfriends. I talked about how it was great how most feminists were now pro-sex feminists as opposed to the ones a generation ago.

She agreed, yeah feminism is pretty much all pro-sex now. I spun into a pattern about isn’t it great how women can now be empowered in their sexuality to choose what they really want to do (self point), for reasons that are no one else’s business except her own. She nodded.

I said and that is the type of thing that guys like myself have learned and are discussing with each other, how to get laid in a way where we understand that women can come from a place of sexual empowerment. You see I think many guys (gesture away) think that women always are looking for a committed relationship or a guy that might want to marry. But my recent experience from my former girlfriend is that women, especially when they are right at this age, just graduating from college and maybe a year or two after college are not necessarily looking for Mr. Right, they want to do things before they settle down and have a family. However that doesn’t mean a woman doesn’t have needs, and doesn’t want to be with a guy that understands where they are at in life and can give them a really good fucking (self point, and fired off anchor on her arm again).


I got a shocked look from her again, you’re so sexual, I don’t believe this (with a smile) … Wow, it sounds like you really understand women.
What can I say, I’ve have my share of experience.
Oh, my god, (playful punch) there you go again, you’re so sexual, everything about you is sexual. How many women have you been with? I shrugged. She said I’ve only been with 5 guys ever, and two of them were relationships that lasted longer than 1 year… That lead to some more conversation.

I responded: there has to be another option out there between serious relationship and one night stands for the woman who doesn’t want to be tied down in a relationship but still wants to get some. That is what enlightened men are starting to realize, we’re out there. I like to call it my friends plus plan, you should apply you would be a great candidate :)

At this point I was getting a little restless and wanted to get a drink so I left and said I’d be back with shots. The women drifted around and then at some point Faz engaged them and had both of them for about 5 – 10 minutes or so. Then I came in and re engaged them and went back to the brunette. I went back into the sexual cocky funny routine, laced with some pre suppositions. When we do it we’ll have a great time (I nodded). And you don’t have to imagine what it will be like as you feel my thick cock sliding deep inside you ...”

At some point HB brunette wanted to do another shot, I said ok, this time it’s your turn to get drinks for us as I gestured toward Faz and her friend. She agreed and went to the bar with her friend while Faz and I stole their seats and talked, things were going very well for him. When they came back we kept their seats. Faz’s girl ended up sitting in his lap while HB brunette ended up facing me between my legs while I firmly held her waist and we made out a little bit. She wasn’t going at it with the same level of enthusiasm as her friend, so I teased her you’re such a delicate kisser, it’s cute. She said that she didn’t want to be too crazy in front of the whole bar (and possibly her friend who was right next to her). I worked my way down her neck and to the back of the neck, pulled her hair a little. Then I gave her ass a playful smack, once again she said you are so sexual.

HB Brunette said you seem like you could have any woman you wanted, why did you pick me? I told her she looked over her shoulder and gave me eye contact so I started talking to her. She said that she looked over because she could feel me looking at her (the non-verbal rapport worked even though she wasn’t even looking at me). I shrugged and said, I guess it was your lucky day then . She also said she felt kind of intimidated, how can I keep up with you, you have all of this experience. Well you’d like to learn, right? Let’s just relax and be comfortable and you can learn a few things to take back to college with you.

At some point my female friend that was at the seminar on Saturday stopped by and we briefly chatted. She was going to Madams Organ, I thought about bouncing our two set over there to meet her. Then HB Brunette got a text message about a party in Rosslyn. I tried to arrange the logistics, I knew the girl I was with was probably DTF and it looked like things were going pretty well for Faz and his girl. I told her that we could drive them there, she could come with me and her friend could go with Faz. She nixed this idea, so then I said the two of them could go with him and I’d meet them there. She nixed that idea too, I don’t know if she wants to go with him, (while her friend was sucking face with Faz like she was giving her CPR). I was about to call out the bizarre irony, and about how she was deflecting this situation onto her friend because she didn’t want to look like a slut in front of her, but I kept my mouth shut. She then said to call her later about 2:30. At that point they left and Faz and I went back out looking for the other guys. The girl Faz was talking to gave her phone number before he could ask.

Epilogue and getting laid
After lingering on the Adams Morgan strip for a little while longer, I called her at 2:30, went straight to voicemail, her phone battery must have finally died or she was underground on the metro. She tried to call me back around 3:30 but I was passed out asleep after a long day a. I called the next day to invite her to the seminar and lots of talking, we exchanged text messages and then talked Monday night to arrange a meeting for last night. She

drove over to my house totally DTF and she pretty much jumped me, but she couldn’t stay the night since she “had to get up early and couldn’t stay the night because she had to give her roommate a ride to the metro."

Lessons learned:

• If you set a challenging frame high value frame where you are qualifying her, you can be totally inappropriate and use stories of sex with other women as DHV stories and opportunities to introduce ideas and embed commands at will.

• If you set a very obviously sexual frame from the beginning you can eliminate the possibility of any last minute resistance and she will f close you.

• You can be very sexual while still controlling the frame of the interaction with her if you own your sexuality as part of your identity and she is convinced that you are someone she could learn from and would have a great experience with.
  

• Two set logistics can be tough, but if focus on developing a powerful attraction/ connection and seed the sexual interaction between you two will propose a solution i.e. call me after I get back from the bar with my friends and tuck them into bed., or I’ll stop by your house sometime.

• When a woman is talking about what she thinks her friend thinks, it usually has more to do with her own agenda.
  

In this case I don’t know all that was going on with Faz and his girl but there appeared to be a high amount of rapport and romantic/ physical attraction. I think my girl just didn’t want to look like a slut and wanted to find a way to isolate with me without her friend and roommate knowing about it. The only way to do that would be to go home with her roommate and then sneak out, which she would have done if she hadn’t called back to find that I was already asleep.

LR: HB Strawberry Blonde 0618 - 062409

LR Thursday June 18 – the tall strawberry blonde

I was out with Dare and Horizon at Guarapo with the intention of checking out a meetup event upstairs and then a fundraiser at 18th ST lounge. After some drinks appetizers and good conversation to get into state we headed up to check out the scene and good general conversation. There was a about a 2 to 1 guy to girl ratio, but there was a steady flow of unattached women coming from the ladies room, so I wandered over that way and posted up along the traffic pattern. After some brief conversations with a few women that walked by I hooked one at about 9:30. She was a tall strawberry blonde with a big beautiful smile and a warm friendly vibe.

I opened by assuming rapport “hey, how are you” as if I already knew her. She is 5’11 strawberry blonde with a big beautiful smile and a very comfortable chill vibe about her. Without any prompting she said she knew me from somewhere, perhaps she had seen me at kickball or something, but I didn’t remember meeting her. Since it seemed pretty obvious she was already attracted to me I teased her back,
Me: “wait a moment we didn’t …“
Her: “what” she said.
Me: “I was going to say something but it would be so inappropriate a nice innocent girl like you would run away horribly offended.”
Her: Oh yea try me, it’s pretty hard to offend me.
Me: Ok I was going to say we must have hooked up,
Her: No, you would have remembered it,
Me: “Oh, so beneath that innocent look you’re a naughty girl then.” I stroked her hair down to her neck as I leaned in toward her.
Her: and I would have remembered you.”
Me: Mmm, why thank you my dear and held her hips with both of my hands (The mmm and hands on hips were anchors), and I think you are … 34C
Her: Yes, very good
Me: Thank you I’ve had lots of practice guessing cup sizes
She laughed again.
Then I went into a piece of a language pattern: Isn’t it interesting (weasel phrase) how you can sometimes feel that instantaneous connection (embedded command) with someone even if you can’t remember where you met them before but somehow already know them …, you know that feeling right there (solar plexus point on her) now, with me …, (self point) I find that it amazing how it can just happen just like that, (snap my fingers). She nodded along and smiled again.

I told her she was fun in addition to having a beautiful smile, and that she was passing my tests quite nicely so far. I told her as I see it the worst thing in the world would be to go home with someone and then discover that she is boring and bad in bed. She agreed. She inquired about the broken heart and I said yeah she moved away to tour the country as a model for a year but had some great adventures before that then I started describing how I met and seduced my ex (see hb redhead LR from about 2 months ago).

She said wow you are good, you cook and take a girl home in the morning? Well it means more rounds of sex and besides if it’s good you always want to come back for seconds. I call it my standard sex + plan. “So what do you like on your omelet?” She laughed and said whoa I can’t tell you that yet.”

I then described more adventures the mountain ledge, lap dances and the remote controlled vibrator at the Vegas strip club and fucking in front of a crowd at the Dark Odyssey sex conference. Yeah, it was great but its over now and she was kind of crazy too. She seemed quite intrigued, turned on, amused and confused at the same time.
Wow! “Yeah I know way too much info, totally inappropriate for someone I just met, but as you can tell I’m an open book and don’t think I’m ready to be back out picking up women so thank you for indulging me and listening. So now I am mending a broken heart, but at least now I know I have one.” I said this in a silly playful way, putting my hand over my heart and tilting my head in such a way as to put on a mock puppy dog look. She said “something tells me you will be just fine.”


“So now I analyze handwriting for every woman I meet just to make sure they’re not too crazy.” She obliged by writing a sentence or two for me. Its turns out hb Strawberry Blonde (HBSB) she has high sex drive, directness, honesty, creative methodical thinking, balanced emotional outlay ambivert and high self-esteem. I pointed that out to her and said “you just passed another test, very good.”

From there Dare came along and said he and Horizon were about to head to 18th ST lounge. She told me she needed to talk to her friend. He was a big guy but was clearly just a friend and had not tried to interfere the whole time I was obviously hitting on HBSB. It turns out he had to go home early but she wanted to go with us. I walked her across the street arm with cars coming and she looked a little nervous, so I twirled her around so I was on the outside facing the oncoming cars. “Ah, you are such the gentleman J walker …”

In the car she asked me, so are you over your nympho ex gf?
I said yeah, I’m getting there, but I’m not going to rush into anything. I’ve made some new rules, no women under 25 even for hookups.
She laughed and said, “well I’m over 25.”
Great! Things are looking increasingly good for you. You’ve passed the crazy test and the age test and the smile test.
She laughed again.

At 18th ST lounge we get drinks and talk even more. She appeared to be in a sustained trance almost the whole time, the perfect doggy dinner bowl look. I had her in my gold bubble, later changing it farther and farther into red. I noticed she maintained very high levels of eye contact just like I do, and I felt a very calm comfortable vibe with her. I told her I feel very comfortable around you, you have this great energy. She said felt the same way from the moment she met me. I leaned in a little and tilted my head about 45 degrees and she leaned in to match me. After about 30 seconds of kissing I lightly pulled her hair and then moved to kiss her neck, moving to the nape of her neck and then back to kissing while firmly holding her hips. I told her that we need a hard surface and led her by the hand to the wall and more making out ensued while grinding my right upper leg against her. She said people are staring at us. I turned around and saw at least half a dozen women looking in our direction from various parts of the room. I said let’s find a dark corner. We headed toward the couches between the main bar area and the outdoor deck.

On the way there I recognized a girl who once had a crush on me but that I never had hooked up with and introduced them. As we walked away I explained how I knew her to HBSB and she said that the other girl looked disappointed. “Yeah, I know. But what can I do?” I shrugged and halfway gestured around the room at all of the other women, some of whom had been looking in my direction. HBSB said “you certainly don’t have a problem with confidence.” I leaned in and
A couple got up just in time to give us their spot.

On the couches I started talking about how I had recently seen the Phantom of the Opera movie years after seeing the musical as a kid and rowing up listening to the soundtrack because my mom was almost obsessed with it. HBSB told me she had just gotten the movie as a gift the other day but not seen it yet. I then told her a little about the plot and about the competition between Raoul and the Phantom and spun a language pattern off of it. On the one hand (holding out right hand) you have a guy who is Mr. Perfect, childhood sweet heart, rich, handsome, smooth, everyone likes him and then on the other hand you have the Phantom with the disfigured face but with a completely entrancing voice and obsessively dark seductive intensity, but then he is also a murderer. She laughed a little, he’s a murderer, oh yeah the object of his affections found this to be a mild turnoff. I said of the two characters I know that I am mostly like Raoul, the guy you could take home to mom who would be Mr. Perfect, but like to think that I can channel the dark seductive intensity of the phantom or his amazing voice. So I was thinking wouldn’t it be great if you could take these two sides, (while holding out my left hand and right hand) and find them in one man, (both hands self point to my upper chest)?

It was now 11:00 but I felt like going. I said let’s go watch the movie. She said that her roommate had company at her house. So I said let’s go to my house instead. With that we left in my car and headed out toward Virginia to pickup her car and head to my house. Then I told her about my adventure on Roosevelt Island and we made a detour there as well. This time cops did not show and almost arrest us, like the last time I went out there in the middle of the night. So we made out on the island for a little while and then headed back to get her car and head to my house.

Then we went back to my house and great fun ensued. Unfortunately it was not a good time of the month for her but she pushed me down on the bed and gave me a very good blowjob with promises of more to come. Then we met up again last night and spontaneously went on a charity boat cruise that left from the Alexandria waterfront and headed back to my house for a nice way to end an evening . So far so good, I think she’s got potential to be part of my rotation now that I am getting back in the swing of things again.

LR 9/28/08 - HB Redhead who turned into LTR

LR 9/28/08 - HB Redhead who turned into LTR

By popular request I am finally posting this field report from September 2008 which ended up turning into an LTR for 6 months and led to me being mostly MIA from the field and the metroDCPUA forum while I was seeing her. Here is the story

I started out the day at Fearless apartment where he and Dare had been putting on a workshop for a few members of the underground. I came in a little late and did a demo for some NLP style language patterns for comfort building and sexual escalation. I hung out with a group a Chi Cha Lounge for most of the night, props to Dare for handing the staff who tried to move us into a shitty table – we ended up with 2 tables and a free hookah after he spoke with the owner. I got about 4-5 phone numbers and generally had fun but nothing was really clicking at the level I would like. By about 2 am Chi Cha was closing down and only Fearless and I were left. We left and I considered going home because in my by that time of the night most women that are going to hook up are either gone or pretty much locked in by another guy. I’m usually taking women home by 12:30 – 1:00, sometimes sooner.

I didn’t feel like going home so I ended up going to Brass Monkey alone instead. I’ve always preferred more dive-like places where the drinks are cheaper and the atmosphere is more casual. I was in a great laid-back frame of mind, calm with no expectations, mostly sober.

As I walked in I locked eye contact with a decently cute girl with her friend that was walking out. I kept eye contact and she kept looking as she walked to the door and then stopped and turned and stared at me. She started walking back toward me while towing her friend and within a moment we were standing face to face and I just leaned in and starting making out with her. That lasted a few minutes but I was only slightly interested in her and her friend was ready to pull her away within a few minutes. I just laughed a little as her friend dragged her out the door and I turned to make a sweep through the bar.

My focus was to look for lingering eye contact that indicated a high amount of initial attraction based on appearance and how I was carrying myself. Then if I got that from a girl I was interested in I was going to mirror her facial expressions, assume rapport with a high value open as if we already know each other.

I didn’t see anything interesting on the first floor, so I went up to the second floor. As soon as I got to the top of the stairs on the 2nd floor I noticed immediately noticed a cluster of women wearing brightly colored outfits, including a curvy blonde and a tall redhead. What the hell was this? I noticed the blonde first but then there was something about the redhead. She had a tall statuesque figure and wore a bright pink dress with bright yellow tights and equally bright yellow beads around her neck. Her hair was a reddish auburn color with big frizzy curls like 80s hair and she wore black lacy gloves on her hands. The outfit wasn’t really quite flattering but it was obvious to me that she was pretty cute and I felt a very strong sexual vibe. Clearly this woman was fun with an ironic sense of humor.

I locked eye contact with HB redhead, mirroring her facial expression and squinting my eyes a little with an evil smile. An almost predatory voice inside my head said “mmm, she’s mine,” and I felt a calm yet excited feeling of certainty and inevitability. Since our eyes had already said hello, I moved in close and casually said “hi” as if we already knew each other while touching her arm. She returned the favor with an almost ironically throaty “hello” seductively tilting her head down while gazing up at me. I slightly mirrored what she did and we started talking. Game on!

As we spoke I made sure to maintain good posture and keep my body, especially my shoulders and face, relaxed. I could feel tension continuing to build, all sub communication. She said I looked like a hotter version of Conan O’Brian :) Since I had rapport I used the eye contact to communicate my own state as I ramped it up, first to pace her reality and then to lead it higher. A powerful sensuality pored from her, and I knew that I was dealing with an extremely sexual woman. So I knew I could really pore on the sexual escalation without restraint.

She noticed the Bacardi blinking button, which worked like a charm once again to spark some conversation. She had been a promotional model too and was here with her friends on a going away party, since she was leaving in about 2 weeks. That’s why they were all dressed up in 80s clothes for what she called “80s prom night.” She had already moved out of her apartment and had been staying with a friend in Adams Morgan. Ah, this would be too perfect!

Within a few moments of talk I leaned in to kiss her. Her body buckled and as she powerfully responded I kept amping up the aggression. After less than 30 seconds of kissing lips and mouth I moved to her neck biting and nibbling my way to the back of her neck, taking care to hit one erogenous zone after the other. I grabbed her hair, pulling it just hard enough to send a tinge of electric sensations shooting through her body and make her head move and then maintained it at that level, intense but not quite painful. I firmly grabbed onto her waist pulling her up against my leg so that it was firmly pressing against her pussy, while she grabbed onto my neck and arm for balance.

As we began to get even more turned on I roughly pushed her back against the brick wall, taking care to put my hand behind her head so it didn’t slam into the wall. We continued to make out and I kissed her nipples right through her dress. A flash went off as one of her friends took a picture with her camera of the spectacle that was unfolding right in the middle of the bar. I fed off her sexual energy, feeding it back to amplify it as my own state kept going. I was grinding hard against her tight pussy to a sexual rhythm, basically dry humping against the wall. I knew she was mine to take as I crushed her up against the wall. He eyes had this hazy defocused look on them, she was totally gone, as if entranced by the experience (and a little intoxicated too).

I pulled back for a moment, to tease, to fractionate and allow things to cool slightly so that I could come back a moment later and bring things even higher. I tried to think of what to do next, talk a little, make out some more? I realized that there really wasn’t anything left for me to do. I had an evil grin on my face. “No, please, you’re just a tease,” she said. I responded “Oh yeah, is that what you think?” I looked straight into her eyes roughly crushed her up against the wall again, firmly kissing her mouth, pulling her hair harder this time and grinding into her pussy as all of those feelings instantly ramped up even higher than they had been moments before. At this point I realized this was and had been a done deal, and I thought that I could probably say anything and she would come with me.

I pulled back and said in a very low key casual voice, I’m hungry, let’s grab a slice of pizza, head back to my place and I’ll cook you breakfast in the morning, salmon and goat cheese omelet. She paused for just a moment, while it sunk in that this was my move to get her home with me. Ok, um you want to go now? Yes, now. Ok, let me get my purse and my camera back from my friend and we’ll go. After a very brief exchange with her friend the lights started coming on upstairs and we left. We passed Caveman and Horizon on the way out of Brass Monkey.

As we were walking down 18th ST, there was some brief dialogue
Her: “ok mister I don’t know what you have planned between now and cooking me breakfast in the morning, (smile) but we need to stop by a drug store to pick up some Polyurethane condoms, most guys don’t keep those around.”
Me: “Oh yeah, latex allergy?”
Her: “Let’s just say I very strongly prefer them.
Me: Ok.
Her: Also I need to be able to get back to meet up with my friends by 11:00 tomorrow.
Me: Ok, no problem.

With that we walked down the hill, got some pizza and then got in the car to head back to my place in Virginia.

At some point she asked me what I do and I said "various things although I’m looking to teach guys how to get laid." I said I believe there is a way to teach men how to be strong and very sexual while not being an asshole. I explained my philosophy about how people were way too judgmental and that society in too harshly judgmental of women and sex. I said I don’t judge people based on their sexual behavior, it’s just part of who they are. Around that time some random guy called for the first of several times. Her ring tone was set to Metallica’s Sandman for any guy callers. She hit ignore. We stopped by CVS just down the street from my house and I had a huge shit eating grin on my face as I passed a box of condoms to the check out clerk.

We went back to my place to eat the pizza slices we picked up in Adams Morgan. In the kitchen I pinned her against the stove and made out with her while the pizza was reheating in the microwave. When it was time to take them out I pulled back and said, ah time for food. “You tease, she said with a playful twinkle.” We ate and then went into my bedroom where I threw her down on the bed and we went at it. She was a complete animal, I’ve never seen a woman that powerfully sexual before. The poor chump kept calling and calling, so in the middle of fucking her I kept hearing the Sandman ring tone.

After round 1 of the best sex I think I had ever had up to this point in my life, where she came very powerfully, she explained the phone ringing by saying that she had given her number out to some other guy earlier in the night. You’d think he’d get the hint if I’m not picking up after like 5 times. I wonder if it really was the same guy or maybe even more than 1, but she was definitely looking to hook up that night. While we were talking naked on my bed she said something which would turn out to be really profound. After all of this, can we be friends? Sure, I said as long as we can keep fucking like this. Oh yeah, of course, its just I would not have expected to meet a guy I would want to get to know this way. You’re really smart, and nice in addition to being really hot. Also normally I have to initiate thing in the bar. This is weird, guys aren’t hot and nice and aggressive like this. I shrugged and said “well that’s me, I guess this is your lucky night.”

I asked what she said to her friend in that brief conversation right before we left the bar. She said I told my friend “that this hot guy went totally alpha on me and I would see her tomorrow.” “Normally I have to initiate things, but you just went totally alpha on me and that was all it took.” Nice, I smiled. And then we went at it again. I cooked her breakfast in the morning and got her phone number right before dropping her off at her friend’s place.

Over the next couple months we had many adventures:

She was a pivot a couple times and did a demo with me for a group of guys from the forum
We had sex in the public park across the street from my house
On an overlook on skyline drive, as we enacted one of my erotic stories I had recently sent her
In Vegas while at a conference
At the strip club I repeatedly activated the remote control vibrating egg while she was getting lap dances from strippers
Orgasm from voice commands
I gave her an extended orgasm for over 30 minutes using Sleepnosis, hypnotic induction while she was sleeping
At the Dark Odyssey convention
She gave me head right in the middle of an empty seminar room after we attending a class by porn star Penny Flame called “How to suck cock like a pro” Then we had sex on a swing in front of a crowd in the “sexorama room”


Here are a few text messages that I saved that illustrate how things (rapidly) progressed.
Notice some NLP language constructs like presuppositions, single binds, double binds etc that I used to further amplify the sexual dirty talk.

Wed 10/1
Me: 9:10 PM

Her: “You drive me crazy

Me: 9:31 PM Why thank you my dear, and here is some more text art while I sit here in this seminar 8==> (my text emoticon for balls and penis)

Her: 9:31 PM Haha, what seminar? I read your story and now I feel like a horndog nymphomaniac.

Me: 9:50 PM At this psychology seminar, Mmm its too bad we can’t meet up
tomorrow night …

Her: 10:03 pm You just want to tease me. I’ve got plans for the debates but otherwise …

Me: 11:10 pm… otherwise

Her: 11:23 pm … Fuckfest

Me: Sounds good 11:36 pm


Thurs 10/02
Her: 2:03 PM Got your email. I’ve always really enjoyed stories about bdsm best, followed by group sex and anal. How are we working tonight? Can you pick me up at the metro?


Fri 10/03
Me: 11:08 am Just the thought of you is making my cock really hard

Her: 12:20 pm I would give anything to be lying in your arms with your cock buried deep in my soaking wet pussy.

Me: 1:37 pm The warmth of my firm embrace envelopes you as you feel the fullness of my cock deep inside your tight pussy, and you notice that each ripple of pleasure is heightened

Her: 2:16 pm God I want you so badly! As soon as I see you I’m going to pounce on you. You’re making me absolutely wild!

Her: 4:06 pm Oh man, my work is finished and my contract is up! I am officially free!

Mon 10/06
Me: 5:32 pm 8==>

Her: 5:45 pm Last night I had a vivid dream of your strong arms holding me down while you thrust thick cock in me over and over until I was screaming and writhing under you.

Me: 5:51 pm I suppose we could make that vivid dream a reality tonight …

Her: 5:53 pm Unfortunately I cant, I’m still in Laurel tonight. I’ll have to settle with dreams again tonight. I just cant get you out of my head

Me: 6:09 pm Well then, as you dream tonight imagine what it will be like as my cock is thrusting deep inside your tight wet pussy tomorrow night or Wed until …

(Some more chat during the Vice Presidential debate)

Her: 10:15 And what led you from politics to sexpert … Besides your thick dick?

Me: 10:23 Sex, Seduction, Politics they’re not that different … Bill Clinton was such a pimp!

Her: 10:30 I think the sexiest thing about you is how smart you are.
Maybe I’m too Washington. Its not to knock your body, which I think is way hot


10/07
Me: 1:44 pm Mmm, I’m horny just thinking about you right now.

Her: 2:58 pm I’m thinking of how cut your abs are among other things.
If you parted my pussy lips and slid your fingers in they would be soaked because I want you so badly.

10/10
Her: 8:36 am I hope you weren’t late for work! Have a great day because you’re a great person and you deserve it!

Me: 8:49 am Aw, thank you, and no problem being late. Have fun with your travels and in New York! You’re a truly beautiful person through and through and I love you!

Her: 8:59 am I love you too! What an incredible two weeks this has been. I feel so giddy. You are handsome and smart, too good to be true – but you are!

Me: 12:14 pm aw thank you ditto on the sentiment. I didn’t know the possibility of you existed. But then again I had not yet met you.

11/09
her 5:41 PM 11/09/08: I love you so much! I miss you already.
Thanks for the wonderful weekend! I cant wait to see you again!

me 11/09/08 6:16 pm: I love you too, talk to you soon

11/11
her 10:23 PM: I love you so much! You are a wonderful presence in my life!

me 10:39 pm: Thank you I love you too! Miss you

her 10:41 pm: I miss you too. Youre just such a wonderful influence on me. I feel like im growing when im with you.


11/23
her 8:47 pm: I love you so much! You are the best lay, best cook and best man I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet!
me 9:46 pm: Wow, why thank you! I love you too!
her 10:53 pm: I cant stop thinking of you and smiling. I love you and can’t wait to see you again!

me 11/24 9:53 pm: Btw my abs are sore from the other day
her 11/25 12:26 am: I bet you abs aren’t as sore as my inner thighs.
:-P . I love you tons and I cant wait to fuck you again!

her 12/02 4:40 pm: I just had a vivid dream about bringing a hot chick to you and having a way kinky 3some. Now my pussy is absolutely soaked.

LR: 05-09-2008 - A Virgin at a Kickball party?!

I went down to the kickball mid-season party for my players in the league and select guests. Upon entering I said hi to one of the redheads that I have been seeing once a week as an FWB for the past month (Platinum member of my friends plus plan). Per our mutually agreed upon non-exclusive arrangement, neither one of us has told anyone in the kickball league and agreed there would be no PDA and we would not go home with each other since we already had an arranged date for Sunday night.

Later I wandered around the room and said hi to hb redhead from last week’s police chase adventure. Per our agreement no entirely gratuitous displays of affection. I hung out with one of my pivots who asked where my wingmen were the previous week. Her good friend, tall thin flirty brunette danced with me and gave me a kiss or two, and double checked to make sure I would be her “cabana boy” for her party the next weekend. Apparently my job as “cabanna boy” would be to massage sun screen on them and man the grill for tips. I actually ended up getting over $100 in cash plus some non-cash tips too J but that’s a different story…

Later I wandered around and greeted a cute redhead with an enthusiastic hello, hug and a kiss as if I had always known her. She had pale blue eyes, was about 5’6, average body type 38C, fun playful vibe in a Mardi Gras mask. It later turned out I had spoken to her a couple times before, she often wore thigh-high stripped stockings with her team’s colors on them. Sometime we started making out and I held her firmly against me, I saw flashbulbs go off so perhaps I’ll make it into the gossip column for our newsletter (so much for being discrete).

This time I used very little pre-scripted game, I guess you could call it my version of natural kickball social game, where I have a very playful and flirtatious but not overtly sexual, challenging or goal oriented intent. Basically I have no agenda, just being present in the moment. However I have learned that with that intent, if I pay attention to the cues of the women in the room I can almost always attract some women willing to jump for a good opportunity.

As the kissing subsided for a moment we talked and I learned that she had graduated from a college I attended my first two years before transferring to a college here in Washington, DC. We exchanged some stories and I told her about some of the crazy parties we had including the ones where people showed up naked. It turns out that she had some friends at the Womyn’s Center (yes women with a y) the on-campus feminist colony where most of the women were openly lesbian, had tried to recruit her. She assured me that she liked guys, so I asked her how did she know when she was sexually attracted to a guy, what was the first feeling she got on the inside? She told me she didn’t know because she’d never been with a guy before. At some point around this time she pulled back her mask and I could see her face.

I was surprised, she was 25 almost 26 years old, had gone to a left-wing liberal arts college yet was still a virgin? She nodded and I asked her why, did she have strong religious beliefs against it, did she believe that she should wait until marriage? What was her reason? She kind of shrugged and said well I guess I’ve never been comfortable enough with a guy before and that some guys would get weird after she told them she was a virgin. I told her it was ok that she was a virgin and that I had experience being the first time for many virgins before, that I was gentle and wouldn’t do anything that she wasn’t comfortable doing. I added that in my experience I had found that each one of them could find their own reasons to do what they really wanted to do, for reasons that were no one else’s business but her own, its like you just need to trust this feeling (solar plexis point). Then I said so if you were to feel attracted to this guy (self-point) touched her and also feel comfortable with him, self point to my solar plexis, would you want to have sex. She nodded, said yes, very innocent look on her face. Then I said why don’t we go someplace more quiet more private, doesn’t that sound good? She nodded again.

With that she briefly talked to her friend, they said their good byes. I took her hand in mine and then I drove her home to my place… . Irony on Sunday night I learned that my FWB on Sunday night accompanied the girl’s roommate home, she was unwittingly also my pivot.

LR 04-13-2008: Uncanny Similarities

FR/ LR Saturday 4/13
I finally wrote this one up, same night lay that appears to be going the friends with benefits route right now. The sarging started when I met up with "Stronghold" at McFadden’s for April birthday night where anyone born in April drinks free, unfortunately I was not born in April but it was still fun.
I spent some time trying to get a feel for the vibe and get into a really good state although I wasn’t feeling it for awhile. Stronghold and I were just cooking up opinion openers for the hell of it to practice shit test ability. From that standpoint it was working. One chick even interrupted our improvised zoolander opinion opener, by feeding it to us first. It was funny but we weren’t really getting anything to hook.
Things started to get better as we wandered away from the bar, although I was pretty hungry. Stronghold and I were about to bounce and meet up with Dare, Ignite and Fearless in Georgetown when he persuaded me to make one last approach. So you’re energy is low and you’re hungry and you’re not feeling the whole college crowd thing. One more opener, ultra-high energy just roll with it.
The OpenerI walked right up to this cute blonde about average height, blonde hair, blue eyes, perky D cups, with a laid-back approachable vibe who was relatively sober. I led with a high-energy social opener as if she were my best friend ever. One thing lead to another and her friends just kind of faded out and disappeared. She was grom North Carolina, had gone to a top 10 school and had been a biology major and was now a management consultant for a top firm in the field. She travels for business and is only in DC for the weekends. It also turns out she had graduated from the same high school I went to in Florida after her parents moved there and her birthdate was the day after mine.
Deepening RapportI segued into the instantaneous connection pattern from the other commonalities that we had, I started by shifting my state of mind to match the description I was about to give “wow, isn’t it amazing how sometimes you meet someone and just feel that instantaneous connection … and its like you feel like you’ve always known this person, (gesture to the left, past time line) almost like you were meant to meet them, and its like you can imagine a time in the future looking back on today as having been the start of it (gesture to the right for the future pace).”
I put in the past and future pacing as a way to pre empt any back end LMR by going around the resistance, suggesting that things had already taken place and would in the future. She agreed and said it was uncanny how much we had in common. I then set a loop back to amplify and solidify the emotional connection, isn’t it interesting how when you meet this person and feel that, how those feelings can just come flooding right through you. She nodded and I saw a slight flush and pupil dilation although only for a moment, she appeared to be relatively low in terms of emotional reactions. I also took this to mean that she was primarily a logical type with a quick mind, which I think is good because it means states hook and amplify faster, although her mind will also move along quickly too.
More Comfort-buildingSince I had already established some pretty deep rapport, much of it based on the dumb luck of having gone to the same high school, I transitioned into some comfort-building types of stories linked together with the overall theme of learning persuasion psychology. We fluff talked about the high school that we had both gone to and a few other things. She was on the dance team and I told her about the torture it was being a guy in high school with all of those short skirts and spandex, she sympathized. I don’t know if you can imagine what it is like to be a teen age boy in high school and to be in a state of high arousal almost all day, and its like everywhere you look you’re like ohhh I’d love to fuck her. In an innocent little boy kind of voice, I said “all I wanted was to meet a nice girl and have lots and lots of sex, I promise I aim to please, she laughed (I cocked my head slightly to the side to convey the emotion and also anchor the state.) I described to her the process of learning that I got from various female friends and quoted bits and pieces of their stories and how this was leading toward where I was now heading as a seminar teacher. I even quoted some of my own sexual exploits at high school speech and debate tournaments with bits and pieces of weasel phrases and embedded commands mixed in, which she seemed to find pretty entertaining.
I continued the theme of my process of learning persuasion psychology, shifting from high school debate on to college and politics and sales jobs. Then I lead into a modified portion of the blow job pattern while describing my experience as a telemarketer for a time-share resort company back when I was in college (slightly softened by quoting myself and leading with a weasel phrase). I described body-sensations linked to the hot tub. Once again I got some color from her and a slight bite of the lip, I mirrored it back.
At some point Stronghold came by with a woman in tow and it looked like he had some things going, so after a brief introduction where I told her that if he hadn’t pushed me I would have gotten food and I would not have met her. Then he went back to his girl and I went back to talking to mine.
More QualificationI then talked to her about how this wasn’t my type of bar, most of these little girls don’t have much to offer besides their looks. I set a challenging frame for her to uphold by talking about how I don’t normally date anyone under 25 (she was 24), although perhaps there might be some exceptions, that I considered my 22 year old sister to be pretty mature for her age. But that most younger women didn’t have a strong sense of self and cared too much about what their friends thought and don’t seem confident enough to just go for what they want (self-point). She said that she was pretty mature and knew what she wanted but that she believed some guys are scared off by women that are powerful and direct, I assured her she could be herself around me and just be comfortable.
Her QualificationShe asked what type of woman I was into and I described a combination of high intellect, high sex drive and logical thinking. I then transitioned into my friends with benefits pattern where I basically say I’m not looking for a relationship right now because life is crazy and all that, but at the same time if you both really like each other and the sex is really hot, then why not come back for seconds. Wouldn’t it be great if you could be friends with someone and feel really comfortable but at the same time have this unbelievably strong sexual attraction without all the games and things that can happen in relationships. She agreed that sentiment, especially since she frequently travels as a consultant.
Venue Close/ Physical CloseAt this point I really was getting hungry and so I asked her if she wanted to leave and get some food. She told me her friends had already left. So we walked out to my car and started to drive home, I told her I’d just gone shopping at Trader Joe’s and had some applewood smoked bacon and banana waffles, so we could just go back to my house, and so we did. We started making out on the back deck and then rolled on into my bed room. No LMR this time, although at the last moment she asked me as she looked up at me with a slightly vulnerable look in her eye, “is this just tonight, or maybe something more?” I paused and said well I can’t make any promises but if we enjoy each others company I’m sure we will see each other again.
Interesting epilogue.For pillow talk I was describing the Pick-up Artist community and the different branches of it. I asked her what first attracted me to her. She said that she liked the fact that I didn’t try to ask her “a stupid contrived question, you were just warm and friendly” She told me that the PUA scene was pretty obnoxious out in Phoenix, Arizona, both the men and the women, with men trying to copy some TV show called the Pick-up Artist. I said “oh, you mean opinion openers” Her: “what you have names for these things. I mean come on who cares if someone’s girlfriend is jealous or not. Really I don’t care, it’s a dumb question and a waste of time, even if it were real the guy should just get over it and find a chick that’s not screwed up.” She also did not like the concept of negs, “yeah, they work, but they work on the wrong kind of woman, if she’s going to base her self-esteem on gaining your approval she is probably going to be kind of needy and unstable.” Of course a false disqualifier and a challenge to her intellect had proven to be effective …
Later I said, this is the most rounds I’ve gone with a girl this calendar year. A little while later she said this breaks my virginity for this calendar year.
Last weekend Saturday night she sent me a text “Last weekend was fun. Call me tonight if you want to take a break from “picking up chicks.” Eventually we met up again J
Reflection and Analysis:One question I asked myself recently was why was I hitting last minute resistance when that is something I have rarely encountered over the years, what am I not doing now that I used to do. Some people have suggested spending longer amounts of time building “comfort,” is the answer, and that argument has many valid points to it. However in my experience this is not usually necessary in terms of the amount of time spent itself. I believe spending more linear time can help in so far as you are meeting the expectation of a traditional dating frame, however I believe that deliberately doing other things to build deep rapport and comfort, including past and future pacing is just as effective as well as being faster and more precise. The benefits of spending more time, when it works, are probably going to include doing various things that can build rapport and comfort, (vibing) i.e. non-verbal matching, mirroring, pacing, eliciting and/or demonstrating values, inadvertently hitting bits and pieces of language patterns that match her reality in terms of comfort and attraction and creating the perception that you have spent some significant amount of time together. However since human emotions are simply processes I think the question to ask is what emotions or processes are being triggered during your comfort building stage and what steps can be taken to install or elicit those processes. Then you can spend more time if you want to for your own comfort and enjoyment or simply install using language patterns or use directed questions to get her talking about her own processes and then mirror them back to you.
Adding in more qualification during rapid-close same-night-lays is another important part of the process. I think most of the time I have gotten satisfactory results by announcing right up front that I am not really looking for a relationship, and either a one-night stand or preferably a friend with benefits. While this would appear to fly in the face of convention wisdom, it does work in the right context under the right circumstances.
1) Since I usually bring this up after I have established a high degree of attraction and rapport I believe it is possible that some women are agreeing just so that they will not be disqualified, or because it presents a challenge.
2) I believe this builds comfort and trust in that you are being very open about your intentions when women generally know that guys are motivated by sex anyway. This brings things to the surface where you can verbally address any objections as well as convey your appreciation and understanding of women as sexual beings.
3) It also helps a woman understand what type of frame or context she should apply to the interaction and it helps them to have sex outside the context of a relationship in such a way that they can feel good about themselves and know that I will treat then with respect and that I will not just “fuck and run.” I believe the concern about first-night sex leading to them never seeing a guy again is a common reason for last minute resistance when it appears that otherwise everything is going alright.

Her: 5/1/08 10:00 PM Got tipsy (read horny) in first class. What are you up to?
Me: About to head home, up for some
Her: Me too. Come and get me :)

LR 03-28-2008: A model/ actress and overcoming interruptions and drama from jealous sorority sisters

At Fado's in Chinatown after talking to some guys for awhile, I wandered around Fado’s for a bit, and then started walked up to a girl with curly dark hair and fair porcelin-like skin that was standing off to the side of a group of 4 women and 2-3 guys, I started with a high-energy opener and a hug and kiss on the cheek as if I knew her and mirrored her responses back to her.

A few minutes of light fun fluff talk where I teased her about being a Jersey girl, and lots of touching, including little hugs, briefly massaging her shoulders among other things. I learned that she was a Jersey girl visiting from New York to see her college sorority sisters from W and L. She is also an actress and print model as I later learned when she friended me. She turned to talk to one of her friends and I got introduced to them and I talked to them for a few minutes. Then they started talking amongst themselves again and one or two of them left, so I went back into isolation. I segued into Instantaneous Connection pattern light, my sister is in a sorority in college, isn’t it great how you can feel that bond… Her eyes looked up and to the left and she took a deep breath and put her hand on her chest kind of over her heart. I mirrored the eye movement and gesture back to her and then transitioned into the pattern linking to myself. Its just like when you meet this person and feel this instantaneous connection with them …

Then I moved into some signal recognition patterns, what is the first signal you get on the inside that let’s you know you’re attracted to this guy, at first she said she didn’t recognize the feeling, which is not too uncommon for a girl that’s just out of college, but her eyes looked up and she bit her lower lip. I mirrored it back to start the loop. I tried to get her to describe the feeling so I could work with it, “a friend of mine said that sometimes she would feel butterflies in her tummy and this feeling starts here and begins to flow … here” and gestured with my hands up from my stomach. This seemed to get things moving and I got her to the color part, for the shape I got a blank, so I just said if you were to give it a shape … Then I took the red circle and turned it into a filter. She blushed a little and I gave her another big hug and then massaged her back just a little.

We talked about things like “The Secret” and the law of manifestation and energy. Since she was a singer and actor I worked with an old pattern that relates to the energy feedback loop of being a performer on stage. We talk about going for what you want in life.

She wanted to dance and so I orchestrated a venue change to Rocketbar where the rest of my guys had gone. It took a moment to get everyone ready to go and then once we were outside one of the friends was inside with a guy. We told her just to bring the guy with her, but he stayed and I think they exchanged numbers.

At rocketbar, the male to female ratio appeared to be significantly less favorable than it had been at 10:00. Dark curly hair buys me a long island and we sit back and talk along-side the bar. Seemingly out of nowhere one of her friends (let's call her bitchy blonde) starts to aggressively interrupt, actually positioning herself between the two of us. My girl holds onto my hand and is clearly not going along with whatever her friend is trying to do, but is trying to be non-confrontational.

My girl moves away for a moment and I end up talking to the guy who we had thought was bitchy blondes boyfriend. It turns out he was just along for a date and had barely met her, there did not appear to be too much chemistry and he said that bitchy blonde was just trying to look out for her friend. Then the blonde starts in on me, don’t be trying to take my girl away from me, and I said we’ve been standing here the whole time, but I understand you haven’t seen your friend in a long time and want to catch up with her this weekend. Then she starts threatening me, “I’ll kick your ass and cut you if you do anything bad to my friend.” I just said, “cool, its good to know you care about your friend” in an unaffected, indifferent manner. This pissed off the girl so she got even more wound up and I said, it sounds like you don’t trust your friend’s judgment. She said I sounded defensive and I told her that threatening violence seemed like an attack. I said I felt bad for her, (with some fake sympathy) because she must have had some really bad experiences with men in the past. I also said it sounded like she didn’t trust her friend’s judgment.

I brought in Dare and Fearless for some backup to deal with what now appeared to be jealous obstacles. Fearless appeared to have short little brunette locked in for awhile. At some point things started to fall apart again, her other friend had dragged my girl off toward the bathroom. Then next thing I knew my girl is heading for the door. I try to talk to her but she doesn’t want to talk and heads upstairs. I hesitated for a moment, briefly spoke with Dare and then headed outside after her. She was near the point of tears and I learned that her friends had told her to go home.

The only problem was she was supposed to be staying with them and now she was outside and they were still in the bar. So, I told her what her friend had said to me and how she didn’t seem to trust her judgment. I also told her about how she and the guy didn’t really know each other. This got her going about how her friend was jealous and “always did this in college,” and they were “always getting in the way when she was talking to a guy and trying to run her life.” She said she was tired of drama and that she didn’t want to spend time with her friends anymore and didn’t know what she was going to do for a place to stay. I offered my place for her (she had clothes with her in her bag) and suggested we could go to the bar across the street.

My response, "isn’t it too bad she can’t just be happy for you." She nodded with this sad look on her face and thanked me for understanding. Her friends approached us on the sidewalk and she turned away as they approached. Bitchy blonde tried to be nice to me and say I was actually a really good guy, perhaps in response to seeing her friend run away and then appear to pick me over her. The girls left us outside and then I went back in to get my jacket.

A few minutes later we went to Clyde’s and Dare and Fearless met up with us and she told me about her relationship with her sorority sister girls. Then we drove back to Virginia, she apologized for imposing upon me and for the drama with her friends. I reframed it and told her that it was not her fault but that her friend must have deep-seated anger at men based on past experience and was jealous. She talked about she lives life without regret, hmm, how is this going to come in handy.

Back at my house one of the most protracted Last Minute Resistance struggles I’ve had in awhile began, before I finally closed things. Among the reasons, A) She was drunk during much of the emotional connection building at the beginning of the sarge, so it was now weakened or forgotten now that she was more sober. B) She was a more highly emotional type that I am used to dealing with and the drama with her friends interrupted things. C) Being young and thoroughly confused.

She changed to get dressed for bed while I grabbed some food from the kitchen. Then after making out, getting the top off getting plenty of physical arousal she resisted at the pants. I backed off and then moved to a back massage which became a full body massage, she compliments me and gets into it and I escalate things and then the attempt to just escalate and plow once again hits the wall. So I back off for awhile, get her to turn off the lights and roll over like I'm going to sleep. She reinitiates contact then once things escalate stops me again. Then I try to engage her in conversation, getting her to talk so I can figure out exactly what the objections are and then lay them to rest, reframe them or plow through with negation.

She started telling a story about how she made a new year’s resolution of chastity and about some bad experience of sleeping with a married man. At this point, I decided to give up dealing with this as token LMR that calls for empathy, comfort and understanding and deal with it as bullshit to be taken out tactically. I tried to get her to admit that her reason was silly and that she was contradicting herself by living her life based on regret.

She disagreed about her “bad experience” as having been regret but then agreed and told me that she would regret not sleeping with me. I ran a negation pattern about how she shouldn’t be feeling this and that and I escalated with vivid David Shade style dirty talk and physical escalation and then future paced the feelings, "imagine what it will be like when, and then imagine looking back on these feelings, now." Future pacing and negation are both ways around resistance, combining the two should be pretty potent.

This appeared to be making progress and then I backed off, and said I was going to go to sleep. She said I'm sure you've been with lots of women and asked how many women I had been with, how many recently. I told her that I usually go for women that are older than her, usually older than 25 because they know what they want and aren’t afraid to go for it without regret or caring what their friends would think.

She said she was cold and I said what do you want me to do about it? At this point I wanted to put the ball in her court, because I was tired of hitting a brick wall and also realized she had to make this her decision. I said we’ll find a way to warm you up and pushed some covers her direction. She said how would you warm me up? I don’t know, here I’ll give you a cuddle and a squeeze, in a flat, not-quite sarcastic tone (although I was feeling pretty damn sarcastic). With a disappointed sigh, she said "oh, well I was kind of expecting something else." So then I said what, "what you want me to fuck you?" She didn’t answer directly. So I said, "well maybe if you ask nicely, I will consider it." She recoiled turning her head away from me and then said I’m not going to say that. I said "I’ve offered it and you didn't go for this opportunity (put her hand on my dick) and I'm tired of offering." Then she said, "do you have a condom?"

The next day her friends stopped by my house to pick her up. They were actually pretty decent in that they didn’t call real early in the morning and then once they did call they took their time getting there. My girl got me to put on the snake skin cowboy hat, mardi gras beads and even some ski goggles to greet her friends. Once we started talking short little brunette returns to form and said that I should give advance warning if I was going to take a girl home that is an out of town guest staying with them. At this point I got frustrated again, was then woman actually being bitchy to me first thing in the morning in my own living room?

In a calm tone to attempt to conceal my irritation, I told her that I really had no intention of doing anything that night since I knew she was staying with her friends, that is until your clumsy attempts to interrupt drove your friend right into my arms. I told bitchy blonde “thank you” with a big grin, “thank you for serving up your friend to me on a silver platter.” Her jaw dropped, and for a moment there was finally silence, sweet silence.

I'll admit as I reflected back on the night I'm not proud of all of the things that I did, and may have been a little harsh. I did lose my cool a little and the situation really threw me off a little. Overall though it was a pretty good night, one that tested me considerably, but also made me realize that in the future I would probably just not pursue a situation like that.