Friday night Field Report/ Lay Report Jan 11, 2008
A cool hat, a recovered credit card, Two kisses, one long night and morning, 20 minutes from meeting to heading home.
I went out, for some reason I couldn’t find anyone else that was up for going out in DC/ NOVA so I decided to go out by myself even though I wasn’t really feeling like it. I still had to go back to McFadden’s to retrieve my credit card from the previous night’s tab. It was actually pretty busy around 10:00 when I got there to get my card…
I brought along my pink and black stripped cowboy hat and decided to head towards Lucky Bar which I though might draw a slightly older crowd than McFadden’s, which I feel more comfortable working with. I got there about 10:00 and didn't feel like doing any approaches for the first half hour or so, still way off my game from 2-3 years ago, finally I just plunged right into a three set with the jealous girl friend opener. After a few minutes I ejected and wandered around and opened a mixed set around the pool table. One of the women grabbed my hat and wore it around while she was dancing around the pool table and we talked a little bit but not much happened.
I bounced around until a two set opened me and one of them saw right through my ruse about losing a bet for wearing the hat “you’re just wearing that for the attention, and its working pretty well isn’t it.” Both women kept talking to me while some guys came back later, I tried to include them too, but they were fast becoming potential obstacles. One of the guys, a shorter little guy, just stood there with a hateful scowl on his face like a puppy with rabies while I just ignored him. The women kept paying attention to me, so when he tried to interrupt with some comment about a problem, I just said “cool man” and ignored him, which made him angrier. I also intentionally made sure my body language was open and relaxed, which was the ultimate AMOG, playful contempt for a little piece of shit dude who was not worth taking seriously.
I wandered over to the bar and got opened by a two set from Columbia, both kind of short almost pixie like with dark hair that asked me how they would go about buying a beer. I took them up to the third level bar which was much less crowded, I ended up talking to them for a little while right outside the women’s bath room my back to the bar as women walked by. The cuter more outgoing one of the two kept flirting with me and I just playful ignored it. I got a picture of each one of them wearing my hat too. I teased them for being my little sister’s age, for not being able to get their camera to work right when I could and a few other things. The whole time I kept my back against the bar and stood up straight leaning back slightly making them work to gain my attention. Then at one point she asked if I had a girlfriend and I said well no, not just one, but I have friends with benefits and I asked her how she would say that in Spanish. I said was untamable, but apparently some women are ok with that. She asked if I had ever dated a woman from another country before, I told her my only international experience was on a plane flight to South Africa but that was with an American so no, but I might be open to it. They both kind of blushed when they realized what I was talking about. Then she asked if she could give me a hug, I started massaging her back and she melted into my arms as I pulled her up against me. Her friend tried to say she was drunk, but the cuter one protested that she wasn’t, and she really did not seem drunk at all. I think it was just her way of trying to cover for what would be considered pretty forward behavior in their culture. In spite of this my intuition said either I wasn’t that interested or I wasn’t going to get any that night so I prepared to move on. I was also tempted by all of the other women walking in and out of the ladies room and then heading downstairs, so I wanted to go down and plow through the crowd a few more times to see what would happen. I tried to eject.
I said I had to get going soon to meet up with some friends and was leaving. The cute one protested“ no, don’t go!” and asked if she could kiss me and we made out right there in front of her friend, right outside the ladies room. Then I broke it off and started to go, she grabbed my arm and said don’t go. I said I was going and she could come with me if she wanted. Her friend answered for her and said no, she asked for my phone number and I gave it to her and started to head downstairs. They ended up following me downstairs and I just got lost talking to some people and forgot about them. I almost felt bad, but was in such a state where I just didn’t care one way or the other.
I bounced around for a little while watching the different groups trying to get a feel for the room and then opened a two set back toward the pool table. One of the women dropped out and things were a little slow with the other but then another girl came in with a powerfully sexual vibe and high playful energy, so I just turned and started dancing against her and rapidly escalated so I shifted my phone and wallet into my back pocket and was grinding against her within the first five minutes of meeting her. She was tall, 5 ’11, with playful naughty emerald eyes, and nice perky 36 Cs. I later learned that she graduated from an Ivy League school and had been on a national championship crew team. Her pale rounded cheeks got even redder than they had been from drinking, this quickly lead to making out and then a few minutes later I bounced her over to the couch. After another 5 minutes or so of a ravenous kissing I said lets go someplace more quiet. She asked where that would be and I said my place. She asked where I lived and thought where I lived was a long way away (Virginia). Its not that far away city slicker, but we could always go to your place instead. She asked where I wanted to go and I said my place. She said that was ok, as long as I would make sure she could get back in the morning.
So we headed out, she said good bye to one friend. Then outside the bar she said good bye to another friend, I think it was her roommate, none of the friends seemed terribly surprised, nor did they do anything to try and stop her. She asked me if I did this often, I asked if she really wanted to know. She said “its just a question but it seems pretty obvious that you’re used to taking women home right after meeting them, that it’s a routine occurrence.” I said yes but not as much as 2 years ago, when I had a girl for every night of the week. This drew a playful slap. Then I guessed her cup size, 36C, while walking to the car, which got a slightly surprised look of blushing amusement from her, “and you do that often too, don’t you?” “What can I say, I’ve seen enough breats to know 36C when I see it. We got to my car and were heading home to my place about 20 minutes after we had met and I drove her back the next day about 2:00 in the afternoon. Ironically she was only 23, not much older than what I would have picked up from McFadden’s, but at least she was out of college.
Bill Burr — The Comedian’s Comedian
4 days ago