Ok guys here is a day game LR, my first cold day game pickup in awhile. But after this experience I would strongly recommend giving the daylight a shot. Last Wednesday (2/27) I went to Panera Bread in Fairfax to meet a friend of mine that I have been coaching for a couple months now.
I walked in looking for the guy I was going to meet with my laptop and a pile of books in my hands. I caught eye contact with a cute girl, on the way into the venue, and after a quick lap around the place I caught and held eye contact again. She is 5’6, 36D, curly blonde hair, blue eyes framing a baby face. I took a table near the fireplace maybe 10 feet from her and setup to get some work done before my deadline. Some old ladies started asking me about my laptop and told me about how they hadn’t even taken their computer out of the box. I briefly and politely talked to them, and then did the cool bubble visualization a kinder gentler version of "smurfing" to subtly cut off rapport without being outwardly rude and the conversation died. Finally I could get some work done, but the blonde was checking me out again, this could be good.
I started to think of a low-key opener and after she took a short phone call I opened using that as soon as she hung up. “I like the phone, its really cute” Thank you. “Its kind of like that phone on that commercial, the one where this guy’s teenage daughter gives him a pink phone with rhinestones on it and the waitress at the diner calls him princess.” She laughed, yeah it’s the cover for my iphone, I tend to drop my phone and this thing has protected it very nicely.
From there we banter back and forth, she plays with her hair a little and maintains really strong eye contact, she has a warm smile. We get into some small talk, she is 25 and went back to finish her degree after being a bartender for several years, although she looks more like she is 21 or 22. I cold read her a little, you’re a very strong person aren’t you, you normally get your way but you respect and appreciate men who stand up for themselves. She responded, yeah, there is nothing more unattractive than a guy who can’t standup for himself.
What do you do, you have books on Media Publicity, sales letters and direct marketing, are you a business major? I said no, just a businessman. I was going to meet one of my mentors here, a semi-retired M & A lawyer who’s now too cool to have a cell phone. I explained my business to her and this generated some curiosity and intrigue and a whole thread that I could embed some patterns in. Then she said, are you like Tucker Max, oh can you believe that story about Tucker Max and (lowers her voice) butt sex?! I then move over to her table so we can talk a little quieter. I said actually its funny you should mention it because I am going down to North Carolina on Monday to see him speak and meet him.
But I’m not really like him, well maybe a kinder gentler version that hasn’t published his stories, yet. What I want to do … Then I talked about men and women and relationships, I said its about becoming the kind of guy that you can really connect with, you know, like have you ever just felt an instantaneous connection with a guy, you know that little click … and then its like as you are there, talking to him, looking into his eyes, it seems like you have known him for as long as you can remember almost like you were meant to know him, and maybe you can even imagine what it would be like some time in the future, still looking back on today as having been the start of it. She is holding eye contact, kind of nodding along and then she starts talking, oh yeah, its really great when that happens …
She said, so do you have a girlfriend? I said girlfriend, girls are like that Lays potato chip slogan … You can’t eat just one. She bursts out laughing. No seriously, I love women but I don’t know if I’m at the stage in life right now where I’m ready to commit to just one woman.
She asked for one of my stories and so I told her one of my erotic stories which has several embedded commands in it and sexual accelerants in it. I followed that with “I think most men don’t understand that many women can be with a guy, even if she is not in an exclusive relationship with him. The key is to have the right expectations for the interaction and for a woman to know that she is doing what she wants to do for her own reasons, because that is what she wants to do.” She said, “it sounds like you think everything out almost like you have a plan and I said well of course, it just makes logical sense to know what you want and go for it powerfully and without apology.”
I said I think relationships can be just like shopping for an iphone. For example when you bought that iphone, how did you go about it? She said, I decided I wanted it so I went out and got it, I don’t like salespeople. I said you strike me as the kind of person who knows what she wants (self-point) and then decides to get it. Me … on the other hand, I worked in sales for a few years, and I find that sometimes I like to work with a knowledgeable salesperson to help find the best product I am looking for. I see them as a guide to help me identify which product has the features I am looking for and then when I get the right product at the right price I just go for it. So I said if you got the right product with all of the features that you were looking for at a price that you found acceptable would you buy it? She said well, but what if I could get it somewhere else at a lower price and I miss out on that. I said what if they would match the price and then give you a portion of the difference? She said, ok sold!
We talked a little longer and then I went after some of her body sensations. I was reading this article awhile back in … I think it was Psychology Today and they were saying that most human experiences happen with a distinct process and that by understanding the process you could gain some measure of control over it, say the process of feeling attracted to someone. So, when you first know that you are attracted to a guy, what is the first feeling that you get that lets you know you’re attracted to this guy?
She blurted out, butterflies, up here, behind the sternum. Interesting. They were also saying that sometimes it has a color, what color would you give that attraction? And what shape would you give it? (symbol fractionation and synesthesia) Notice that as that shape gets larger and the color gets more brilliant, those feelings can also get mmm (auditory anchor)… so much better. Her face had turned pink and a secondary area of reddish pink had developed on her neck (I love pale skin!) I gestured back toward myself, wouldn’t that be a great way to see the world.
Then we talked about something else and then her brother called. Excuse me just a moment I need to take this. She cut it short, some sort of errand to pick up pet food. She also told the other person, I’m kind of busy I met someone, I’m so glad I came out today remember how I said I had a feeling I was going to meet someone…
She hangs up and then we someone end up on the relationships topic again. She asked if I had ever been in a “serious” relationship and if I ever wanted to get married someday since I seemed like such a playboy. I told her about how I was like “Good Luck Chuck” and went into my good luck chuck pattern. She asked about what I looked for in a woman, and I told her about how looks weren’t enough, “past a certain point, I look for how much fun I am going to have with a woman, is she highly intelligent, very sexual, does she have integrity and do what she says she is going to do, because I don’t have the time or inclination to deal with any bull shit. I want women who are confident enough to trust their own feelings and go for it, and who don’t have any hang-ups when it comes to sex.
I said relationships aren’t too bad as long as I can find someone to meet me at my level and that doesn’t take away more energy than I give out, its kind of like with beer, relationship light! She smiled, me too. She had to go to class at George Mason. Ok, I have to run for class but I would love to meet up again sometime soon. I agreed, we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meetup on Friday. I like setting dates on the spot if at all possible.
It turns out Friday wasn’t going to work out for me, so I called on Thursday night and left a message cancelling but offered Tuesday. She called back while I was out on a day 2 with the girl whose number I got while she was out with her fiancée standing next to her (thanks to Ignite! for the assist in disarming and distracting the fiancée, who was just 5 feet away while I got her number).
Tuesday rolls around and I’m coming back from meeting Tucker Max at Duke. I send her a message, Falls Church Panera Bread at 3:00. I was running a little late and at 3:02 she called me to let me know she was there (someone is definitely very interested). I told her coffee was on me since I was the one running late.
She asked about Tucker Max and his crazy stories and my speeding ticket on the way down to Durham (84 in a 65, but the guy knocked it down to 80). We talked about driving and I shared with her my strategies for avoiding getting caught or bargaining the speed down.
We talked about family and friends and life in general. I told her about how I considered myself to be a hybrid of my both my mother and father and how they had influenced my personality and my beliefs about gender roles and the role of parents etc. She shared some similar things.
Then to lighten it up I transitioned and wanted to go back and loop through the signal recognition pattern work that I had touched upon before. She remembered, “you were just talking about this the other day and I thought about it later and actually the color would be pink and not red. Red represents deep strong passion, but at first its pink, the start of the feeling is there but it is not fully developed.”
I looped it back to her: “Ah, that makes sense, I think its interesting how this happens because I once asked this to a girl I was seeing about 3 years ago and she said that for her there were two distinct kinds of attraction. She said there was lust attraction and love attraction. She said love was up here (point to solar plexis) but lust came from a much different place.”
Her: She smiled, hmm I wonder where?
Me: Well this was IM and she was at work and I was at work so we had to be a little discrete. Then I ran through the symbol fractionation a second time for the sexual feelings separate from the love feelings.
She said she couldn’t believe it but last time she felt very excited and energized after she had met me and that it was like I was the male-equivalent of her. I saw this as confirmation that I had effectively developed deep rapport and gotten her to ratify it. Of course I also felt that level of connection too, once in rapport I deepened my own state so that my language would congruently guide her feelings.
Then I said there was this video I could show her about some weird NLP stuff. She tried to get it on her iphone, but the wifi connection was too slow at Panera so I said come to my house our wifi is super fast. So we got up and she followed me back to my house about 4:30.
I showed her the video and then started rubbing her shoulders. She asked if that's what I did with all of the women I take back to my bedroom, I said well it depends on the mood that I'm in. I hadn’t really expected any last minute resistance, but I think she wanted to make herself seem to be at least a little bit of a challenge just so she didn’t look too easy. So there was a little playful resistance, but it was kind of funny, like the safety pin used to hold together her jeans because of a tear in the crotch. I said well it would provide easier access, that brought a playful slap from me. With token LMR, some physical resistance but no verbal resistance, just being persistent and plowing ahead while escalating the sexual tension will usually work just fine. At one point I asked her what was up, you know you want to and she said she was thinking if she wanted to do things this way again. I told her to stop thinking and just enjoy the experience. It turns out she was a squirter, that was pretty cool.
A little later in the evening we took a break to go out for martinis and sushi (you gotta love a girl that is into hard liquor without any of that fruity crap). I asked her when the first time was when she knew she was interested in me. She told me that she noticed me as soon as I walked into the Panera in Fairfax, she said she was drawn to how I would made and held a high amount of eye contact without backing down. She was also impressed by how I was kind and polite to the old ladies who started talking to me about my computer. Even though you come across as so cocky bordering on arrogant, I knew you had another side to you, its like you’re a player, but you can also be kind and sincere too.
Total time: 1st meeting, 2 hours, 2nd meeting 1.5 hours until bedroom. She’s a cool chick and she’s coming over later tonight after class to visit. I better put on the rubber mattress pad!
Stewart Brand – The Polymath of Polymaths
15 hours ago