Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Be selective - actively screen for the kind of woman you are looking for

One strongly attractive quality in men is their willingness to be selective with women that they meet and to screen for what you are looking for.

1) One reason is that it creates a challenge. Since most attractive women are used to people giving them things and trying to win them over simply because of their looks, the fact that looks alone are not enough challenges her to demonstrate what kind of person she is and what personal qualities make her desirable.

2) It also creates and reinforces the frame where you are the prize. An attractive woman is used to being the prize but is most attracted to someone that they perceive to be as valuable as them or more valuable. Your willingness to be selective implies that you are a valuable person and she is going to be curious to find out what makes you attractive. At the same time due to the “halo effect” she will also have the tendency to project positive qualities onto you simply because she believes that you are a valuable person.

3) As you meet more and more attractive women you will discover that in the long run you are not going to be happy with a woman just because she is attractive. However you can use your behavior to quickly screen for what you are looking for, drawing women out to reveal more about who they are while also pushing away those who are not as attracted to you. Before spending lots of time and effort getting to know her and developing an attraction with her you might want to first discover if she is the type of person you want to get to know.

For example I find it very important that a woman is very sexual and is comfortable with herself and sexuality. Therefore I will be boldly funny and challenging in a sexual way and be sexual in my words and actions and see how she responds. Not all women will respond to that kind of approach, however if she does not respond favorably then you have learned something about her.

I also find it very important that I find a woman that I can have an intelligent conversation with. Within the context of being an attractive desirable person that has established rapport with her you can be intellectually challenging by being knowledgeable and able to have an intelligent conversation.

4) If you are being challenging and she starts trying to prove herself and her desirability to you, you know that she is attempting to qualify herself to you and believes that you are valuable. Once she does that you know that she is on the hook, then you can draw her in further and also recognize and validate how much you like her in a way that is non-needy and builds trust and comfort.

So there you have it, by being selective and actively screening for what you are looking for you are in the drivers seat while being able to find the kind of woman that you want.

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