One thing that I have noticed over the years is that the times I have been most successful at finding a woman I could really bond with was when I was fully present in the moment. By being fully present, I mean the ability to have your thoughts and awareness be of what is going on the in the present moment around you with people and events. It is common for people to be thinking of ideas in the past, the future or of something different than what is going on right in front of them with the people around them.
Not being fully present also has an impact on your awareness of what is happening with others around you. You might miss subtle social cues, including slight shifts in voice tone or body language that can cue you in on what someone is thinking or feeling. Other people might also interpret your lack of being present to disinterest.
Another possibility is that you could respond inappropriately to things that other people are saying because of the mood that you are in or the experiences that you have recently had.
While there is an abundance of information out there on the spiritual and interpersonal aspects of living in the moment and being fully present, here is an exercise you can do to help improve your overall awareness and intuition.
Pebble in the Pond exercise. Before you go out at night, imagine that your field of vision is the surface of a calm pond. Notice what happens if you drop a pebble in the pond and watch the ripples radiate outward from the center of the pond toward the outside. As the ripples radiate out toward the edge of your field of vision, notice all of the things that are going on in your peripheral vision, notice the different sounds that you can hear, how does the air feel, the fabric of your clothes. Later on in the evening when you first enter a venue do this again, the more you do this exercise the more observant you will notice you are becoming to the present environment of any place that you go to.
Another technique I will discuss another time that is goes hand in hand with this exercise is active listening. There are many things this involves but being able to focus completely on what someone else has to say and non-verbally acknowledging what they have to say is a good place to start.
How to Do Crazy Good Turns — Frank Blake
3 days ago