Friday, August 7, 2009

What do you "really" want when it comes to women, sex and relationships?

As someone who first discovered the seduction/ PUA community and has applied the teachings for over 10 years I have had many different experiences with women, many of them “Same Night Lays” where we met and went home very soon after we met. I have also had multiple long term relationships and even exclusive longer term relationships. Many of my Same Night Lay experiences turned into longer term “friends with benefits” or exclusive long term relationships. However developing and managing longer term relationship requires a different set of skills than just picking someone up and escalating the level of attraction.

Before you go out looking for women to pickup you must first get in touch with yourself and your expectations when it comes to women, sex and relationships. Where you are at in your life as it relates to women? What it is you want out of your experiences with women? It can be harder than you would think at first. Knowing what you want requires self awareness and a willingness to be truthful with yourself even if it goes against the way you think things “should” be.

In my experience many of my clients have thought they should want a relationship because that is what they believe a “nice” “respectable” guy should do. However they really just want to have sex, but somehow feel guilty or “bad” about their desires. Perhaps you want to have multiple relationships, multiple sex partners but are struggling with your own beliefs about whether it is right or not.

Conversely you might think you just want to pickup women for sex and not want a ongoing relationship where you get emotionally involved, but you actually really want a relationship. That’s where I’ve found myself before, thinking I just wanted sex with many different women when I was actually looking for a relationship. However I did not realize I wanted a relationship until I met a woman I was highly attracted to bring it out, at a time and stage in life where I was looking for it. Next we’ll look at how a woman’s stage in life can affect what she is looking for when it comes to men, sex and relationships.

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