There are many reasons why men might not get the outcomes they want with women, here are 7 that encompass most of the problems.
1. Belief that what they're doing is wrong/ not desired.These beliefs can stem from they learned as kids and/ or in popculture which is that women do not like sex, and that sex outside of a committed relationship is somehow harmful to a woman and/ or notdesired. Therefore the guy is doing something wrong when he is justgoing for his desires.
2. Getting bogged down by what other people think. One again this links back to societal beliefs, its wrong for a guy tojust go for what he wants. A corralary to this would be that guys should care if things do not work the way they would want them to witha woman (i.e. rejection). In reality most people have their own baggage and fears that limit their ability to be successful and happy. Why would you listen to people like that?
3. Not having your own strong frame or reality. This goes with the point above about not overly caring what otherpeople think when you go for what you desire. It also comes down to how you think about yourself and if you believe you are good enough for what you desire. You need to know that you are the prize.
4. Attaching excess meaning to being accepted or "rejected." A better way to think about it is there is no rejection, you are just testing for responses. For example if you were squeezing tomatos to see if they are ripe when you are at the grocery store. Squeeze and see if it responds favorably to the touch. If not, put it back and try another one. Can a tomato reject you?
5. Not testing for feedback as you go. Why not get immediate feedback on whether a woman is attracted to you before you invest a lot of time in trying to create an outcome that might not really be possible? Women often know within 5 minutes and oftentimes much less how attracted they are to a guy. If you aren't at least a solid "maybe" early on then you are probably wasting your time. However if they are interested and you can determine that by reading her cues and how she responds to you then you can often escalate much more quickly than you previously thought was possible.
6. Be confident in your sexuality. Know that once it gets physical things are almost over. This relates to being aggressive andconfident that a woman that is attracted to you will powerfullyrespond. Once sufficiently turned on the woman takes care of mostcontigencies.
7. Lack of focus on the end game. Let's be real: for most men you want sex and there is no need to apologize for your desires because most women are also looking for sex too. Many men do have some inner conflicts about sexuality that stem from family upbringing, religion and/or your own beliefs about women. You may also want a relationship, maybe even one that could lead toward marriage, but a major factor of any relationship is the sexual interaction.
Stay focused on that goal first, before you let yourself become invested in the woman, because if this key element isn't going anywhere your ultimate relationship is doomed. Realize that not every woman is going to be in it with you at that moment, but that some of the women in any environment will be always be interested, you just have to find them.
How to Do Crazy Good Turns — Frank Blake
3 days ago