Saturday night 042608 FR
Getting Ready and warmed up
During the afternoon on Saturday while working out I listened to some recordings that I have to help get me in the right frame of mind. Basically I just reviewed some of the power attitudes and some visualizations of my ideal outcomes. Tonight I was going to be bold and aggressive without a care in the world except to project my energy and keep up my attitude.
I went out with "Ignite!" and "Dare" to Adams Morgan starting at Tryst. Ignite and I started out the evening role playing shit tests, which was a fun way to get the energy going, then played around with some language patterns to warm up. We moved toward Gran Central and I opened a couple sets there, Ignite and Dare and I experimented with a new opener that used the energy building routine that we had learned about during a previous lair meeting (yes, yes, yes). I
pulled in a girl to try it with us, this one might be used in the future.
We rolled on to Brass Monkey and I plowed into a set right near the second floor entrance. The women immediately asked us what our line was going to be and if the other two were going to talk to her friends while I spoke to her. That's when we learned that a PUA boot camp had picked Brass Monkey to sarge. As I looked around the room the dress peacocking was unmistakable, print t shirts with a blazer and jeans hmmm, a black shirt with a white tie … After playfully sparing with them for a little bit and having fun hearing the lines the women had heard for the night we bailed for upstairs.
I remarked how funny it was to see this day, nine years ago I never imagined the day would come when PUAs would be so pervasively mainstream.
Eventually we wandered back downstairs and I did what I often feel comfortable doing, wander alone somewhat randomly and see what my intuition picks up, where do I feel mysteriously drawn?
Solid Hook on a set: more calibrating my skills to get things sharp
I wandered over toward the wall beyond the bar on the ground level 1st floor on the side where you enter with the Brass Monkey side and starting talking to a cute brunette who was with two friends, one of which had a tierra on. The brunette went low on a song and so I dared her to see who could get lower. I noticed she was wearing some sneakers and pants, not really dressed for going out. She said she liked to be comfortable and really dance but that you couldn't get in most places because of that. I mirrored it back to her, isn't it great when you can just be yourself and be comfortable.
I transitioned into some patterns and questions designed to test for responses and what information I could gather. I noticed what appeared to be one of the PUA newbies running around nearby talking to one of her friends. I said did you know there is a pickup artist class here?
After a somewhat incredulous response and some initial concern that the guys were shallow and self absorbed and just looking for a one night stand I gestured away from myself to direct the feelings toward the other guy. On the one hand there are those guys that are shallow self-absorbed and not really focused on getting to know the woman inside. But I do feel there are some guys out there that do want to genuinely learn about the woman they are talking to … Then I segued into Instantaneous Connection pattern and this got her talking a little. I mirrored some of her words back to her.
Then she asked about me her job and what she found most fulfilling about that. I also did a little energy test on her for my own calibration, kind of low-neutral. I stacked into my friends with benefits pattern, I'm not necessarily a one-night stand kind of guy but I've been blessed to have some great friends who can keep a guy happy. She said the non-profit she worked for was against friend with benefits. She works for a non-profit to prevent unplanned teen pregnancies, so I said thanks to modern technology I haven't become a baby daddy just yet, then crossed my fingers. She laughed, and seemed intrigued but expressed skepticism that women would be into friends with benefits and that she believed all women were looking for exclusive relationships.
I reframed it that not all women were looking for that, that for a woman to be an FWB for me she had to be mature and intelligent as well as highly sexual (I stepped on the last word for effect). I said most women are closer to my age, some older, a few younger but not under 25. She seemed intrigued and asked how many I had, I first said 4 and then wait I undercounted, there are more than that depending on how you define it but they come … in and out of the picture periodically.
She said, so life is good isn't it. I smiled. She so you're in between boyfriends friend. I said that's part of it, but I'm a full service FWB. I'm also the friend when you're looking for a boyfriend but don't want to deprive yourself of sex or the friend when the boyfriend isn't giving you what you need in the way that you truly need it, and even the one where you are looking for marriage but have been burned a few times and are feeling a little down. She said so you’re a slut. I smiled, yeah I suppose but I’ve having good time of it.
Too bad women can't be the same way, people would just call them a slut. I said not in my book, they would be a "studette." The difference is in whether you own your sexuality and enjoy sex for its own sake instead of using it for some external validation to fill a void in your life.
Some AMOG fun
Then we noticed one of her friends dancing with this guy in a Mountain Dew shirt and he was really good, looked like a PUA in training. Then she said to me, he's been working on her for awhile but she's got a boyfriend and is trying to be polite but not lead him on. She also said that I should talk to her other friend, the cute blonde with the birthday crown.
She talked to her other friend and I did a friendly AMOG routine on the guy by asking him if he was there for the workshop and complimented him on his game. At first I thought he was playing dumb but it turns out he was just visiting from Ohio. The distraction of his attention was just enough time for the other friends pulled their friend out and she disappeared and brunette talks to princess blonde. Then I turned to the blonde friend that the brunette friend said I should meet.
The Fun Starts and goes right to dirty talk
She was pretty hot, about 5'8 blonde hair blue eyes, slender little waist, just enough eye shadow. The first thing she said was, "Are you a slut?" in a playful, challenging way, with a strong sexual energy about her. I was slightly off balance for a moment as I felt a very strong sexual energy coming from her, and tried to respond to the shit test. It didn’t seem overly hostile, but it was a test of sorts.
I responded by saying I consider myself to be a highly sexual person that craves variety and that I keep a couple women around to replace the others when they get worn out. She laughed, paused, smiled, bit her lip a little as her eyes lit up, the wheels were turning. I said besides a slut is just someone who acts on what they want because that is what they want to do and not what society or their friends tell them they should want. She asked what I do and I said many things but including writing erotic stories. Then I turned it around, how about you? She said she also likes sex a lot, I like it rough, I like it for a guy to pull my hair and bite me and I like anal. (Whoaaa, wait a second she brought that up first. Where is this coming from?)
Really, so you like anal, and you come from it really hard don’t you, g-spot or deep spot, while nodding my head, she sort of nodded. You know I’ve discovered some women that come from anal even more powerfully than vaginal, maybe about 10% of the population, like this girl I knew and then I went into a funny story with some pretty graphic descriptions that incorporated the kinds of things she had just described. My roommates got so pissed off, I promised them that the next time I fucked her hard that I would bury her head in a pillow or use a gag. That really made him squirm. Damn I guess that was kind of mean, but I couldn’t resist its fun to test people and see what happens when they freak out. She laughed and we bonded and vibed for a bit.
She asked more and I started telling her about a lot of things, stories of swingers clubs,
sex education work shops with toy demonstrations, BDSM and courses on tantra and ritual sex magic. I told her how I got an autographed butt plug from Tristan Taurmino, author of the Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women for buying her porn anthology. This got her talking and asking questions.. I went into some graphic descriptions with some pattern-like language using weasel phrases and embedded commands, incorporating her own personal trance words, pacing and leading all the way. She lit up turning red and pupils dilating as I took a deep breath and then went on to describe the energy of the interaction. The breath set it so I was leading her breathing, she starts to mirror me back as I shifted my state in a more sexual direction and light trance by visualizing what I was describing. I fractionated slightly by getting her to focus on the feeling of attraction, so I mirrored her anchors back and asked her for the color of the state and then said notice that as the color gets stronger, more vivid that those feelings get stronger too, pulsing through your body, now with each breath … All of my energy was focused outward, no internal visualizations, no lust, just focus.
My hands squeezed her waist a little stronger now. She appeared to become very excited, pupils almost fully dilated, body shaking. She leaned in then backed up, then leaned in again, seemingly very energized and agitated. Where have you been? I said right here. At this point I wanted to calm things down a little bit because she seemed to be kind of overwhelmed. I said isn't it great when you can really connect with someone at this level. She said yeah, it seems so lonely sometimes, no one understands what its like. I nodded. She started talking about her last boyfriend and how it started to kill her libido. I listened for a little while but then interrupted it quickly so I could turn it and reframe.
I know its so tough when you're this sexual and most people aren't (point away). She said its hard to find someone you can trust to get to that level. I asked her, how do you know when you can trust someone at that level? She paused, didn't quite know and so I said what's the first signal, the first feeling that you get on the inside that let's you know you have this level of trust. She paused even more, looked up and to the left put her hand over her solar plexus just above her breasts and said I don't know and then she started talking. She gave me some more language for me to reflect back to her. I also mirrored back her anchors and said isn't it great when you can feel this trust and know that you have found someone that you can really bond with. Now isn't that amazing. Her eyes were glazed like Harold and Kumar’s during their quest for a White Castle. She said I've almost never felt that before.
She appeared curious and energized, her eyes darted from right eye to left eye and back again, are you real? And then oh my god I'm going to have to run off and masturbate as she squeezed her legs together, I leaned in and we started to kiss. She said not in front of my friends, they are also co-workers. So I tried a test close, its too bad we can't just enjoy ourselves some place more private. She hesitated and I said why don't we find a comfortable spot out of sight of your friends. She looked over at her friend and then I led her by the hand right past one of the PUA instructors over to one of the couches, the shorter one with the dark hair. As we were making out she climbed on top of me and said I'd love nothing more than to straddle you right now and ride your cock. She asked me to bite her and I also pulled her hair hard, shifting the tierra around on her head. I suggested we should probably find a more private location if she wanted to ride my cock. She paused and said, mmm, I can't though. I'm completely turned on by you more than I have ever been and I want you to fuck me hard just like you describe in your erotic story. I can't believe this, its just unreal. I need to know for myself if this is even possible. I need to know that this is real outside of drinking outside of this. I said well we could go someplace more private. I saw resistance on her face, no pressure let's just relax and enjoy each other's company.
She started to calm down a little and then I said you know its weird but I just did this ritual a few days ago that is supposed to attract your ideal lover and they were saying that for you to truly connect with your ideal lover requires connecting on several different levels at once. I described connecting with cords of light from the head, heart and groin chakras all at once and then past and future paced it. And that when you meet this guy how you can feel totally fascinated
with each breath that you take and each pulsing beat of your heart.
This nearly sent her over the edge again. She said I can't take this anymore and I need to go to the bathroom. Then she started calming down and said she should check in with her friends. The friends were alright and did not seem concerned that their friend had been away from them for a little bit. One friend said to me do not let brunette go home with that guy, ok. I guess I gave her a blank look because we hadn't even spoken before. And then to her she said the same thing, then turned back to me, but you're good. I don't know what possessed her to make me a guardian of a woman's chastity. Blonde said it looks like we are going to need to do a little baby sitting, and then will you watch her I really need to pee, and she sprinted off to make a quick trip to the potty. I talked to brunette and thanked her for introducing me to her friend, she's awesome, and she said one-night stand awesome or possibly more. I said I have a strong feeling possibly more. Blonde came back very quickly and gave me a big hug. I'm saving the rest for later when I can have some peace and privacy. We exchanged contact info and I got her phone and email address and learned where she lives. She said she was going to be taking care of her friend that night. I want to read your stories, they'll be good to masturbate to.
I said and I'm sure as you experience that, there is no way you could just imagine my voice reading it to you deep inside your mind as those feelings come flooding right through you. She started shaking again. “There you go again. Damn it.”
I said I should be going and catch up to my friends unless some chicks picked them up already and we parted company for the evening. I emailed her later and she replied.
This ties back to the FR from the previous Saturday night with the sex-crazed blonde.
Me: Sun, Apr 27, 2008 at 3:41 AM Good to meet you tonight. Here is that story as promised. I'm sure you will find a way to enjoy!
(Commentary: The erotic story is filled with various patterns designed specifically for a woman to masturbate to. She is one of the few to actually tell me that she was going to before she had even read it.)
Her: Sun, Apr 27, 2008 at 11:23 AM exactly how I needed to start my day - I appreciate you passing it along. Pretty hot. Much like last night. I had a great time... better than I could have ever hoped for. I would love to take you out to dinner and get to know you better if you're up for it sometime. As I would hate to mislead you, I warn you that at the moment I have no need to be another notch on your belt. But I really would love to spend more time with you. You mentioned Tuesday? I won't hold you to that, but if you're interested then give me a call sometime. Have you ever been to Capital Lipstick at Bar Nun? I've never been, but something made me think of it this morning. Maybe we could check it out some weekend.hope your evening finished well...(Commentary: Notice how nice she is being, while also trying to subtly control the frame, she had also said that she was not going to sleep with me the first night too. I’m interpreting that as her way of putting on the brakes while also allowing tension to build over time. It is also consistent with what she said about liking a lot of sex, but generally with one person at a time.)
Me: Sun, Apr 27, 2008 at 1:43 PM Same to you, last night was hot, and isn't it interesting how sometimes you can just meet someone and feel that connection where you share something that touches you deep inside and you can just be yourself and not have to worry about anything except the timeless energy that connects the two of us.I do have a pretty full plate right now in terms of professional and social obligations, especially with the seminar I'm teaching coming up in the next week and a half, but dinner on Tuesday would be good. I suppose there are probably more options in your neck of the woods, which neighborhood are you in?... And there are plenty more stories where that came from, and I've been known to write some on special request too ...(Commentary: I wanted to reflect back her tone and then use some vague and confusing pattern language that defies any attempt at proper English. Then I placed a value on my time and established scarcity.)
Her: Mon, Apr 28, 2008 at 5:51 PM I work and live in the Dupont area, so just about anything you desire is an option if it's not a huge pain in the ass to come here. I can definitely drive out there, though I don't know the 7-corners area very well. I do, amazingly, know how to read maps (that's right - not just pretty - I'm smart too - haha). Anyway - I'm off tomorrow by about 6:30. I eat just about anything and know plenty of good places around here depending on what you're in the mood for. Japanese, Thai, pizza, french... whatever your preference. I'm still kinda blown away to have met someone that actually understands kink - I've only met one guy and one girl that I clicked with on that level, and they are both significantly older than you. God it could be fun to explore some things with you. Maybe I should dig out some of the things I've written and pass them along. I definitely giggled this morning as I covered up the marks you left on my neck... very nice. If you're really busy and want to blow me off, I won't be offended. I do realize that my promise of no-sex makes me less than the most tempting way to spend your time. However, I really would love to get together. You have my cell? xxx-xxx-xxx(Commentary: She is being pretty nice and polite and appears to recognize my value. Its almost like she is supplicating to me. Interesting contrast she is very forward about talking about sex, yet she wants to preserve some semblance of the dating frame, its her own push/ pull.) I called, without knowing that she had already sent me that last email and then I didn't hear back from her.
Me: Tue, Apr 29, 2008 at 9:00 AM Sounds good, I actually do include the ability to read a map as one of the things I look for in a woman. Let's meet at DuPont Circle park and be spontaneous that will give me time to read my new book on secret commodities trading strategies.
Her: Tue, Apr 29, 2008 at 9:54 AM Sorry I didn't call you back last night - was out to dinner with family and by the time I got home I was so freakin exhausted I just collapsed. I'm looking forward to tonight though. What time-ish?(I actually forgot to email her back, but didn’t realize that until the next day and assumed she was going to meet me at 6:30.)
Day 2 meeting for dinner in DuPont Circle
I was starting to get hungry and had not heard from her. I had a strong feeling that this was a big shit test or even a flake. So I sent her a text message and started walking toward the metro.
6:43 PM Me: Grumble, grumble I’m hungry and I don’t see you, so I’m heading home to VA.
6:44 PM Her: On my way Fucker, Don’t move be there in five.
What the hell is she trying to be funny? I didn’t respond and continued walking toward the metro and if I didn't hear from her in 5-10 minutes I would head home. I wanted her to call or text when she was looking for me in DuPont Circle, so then she would wait, at least briefly, for me so that I did not appear too available and the frame would be out of balance. Five minutes later she called and I told her she had just barely caught me before I was going to go down into the metro.She apologized for running late, her story was that she was moving a table that she got from some girl, she assured me she would be there soon and we agreed to meet at a restaurant about a block from the Circle. Since she didn’t have the courtesy to call I took this to be either a flake or a major shit test. The least she could do would be to pay for dinner. After we met she apologized profusely while we waited a moment for a table to become available.
Several things happened as we started talking. She spoke about how her ex had the same name as me and started talking about him and the relationship problems that had led her to break up with him. Relationship problems included a guy who was almost completely disinterested in sex and a boring homebody. She shared how her mother was a lesbian and moved to Norway with her lover before she was born and how her 5 brothers and sisters were from a couple different fathers. However she was very smart and had gotten accepted to Yale but went to Smith instead where she had been a LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation). She also shared how she had been engaged 5 different times, but that she had done so because it was a means of self-preservation as a way of dealing with what she thought were ultimatums from live-in boyfriends. She said that guys kept proposing to her because she was the whole package “I’m pretty and fantastic in bed.” Even though she was a “serial monogamist” she frequently cheated on her boyfriends and “took care of things herself.”I felt like I was playing therapist as I dispassionately listened to her.
As you can imagine what she was telling had raised several red flags, including family instability during childhood, having an absent parental figure and apparent dishonestly in relationships. My analysis, she is emotionally unavailable, likes to keep her emotional distance from others and while outwardly strong, independent, and tough she likes security and stability that she never got from childhood. While she said sexuality is important and was a reason for ultimately leaving relationships it is a lower priority than basic physical survival and the emotional security of knowing that she has someone to come home to. I also started to think that part of the reason why she was so forthcoming was that there are few people she can really trust and for this reason she values people that she can unburden herself to.
I challenged her back, it sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too without being honest about it. You want a guy to make himself emotionally vulnerable, give of himself and trust you when you are not willing to do the same thing in return. That doesn't sound very alpha female to me. I also told her how I test and qualify and disqualify so I can rapidly determine whether or not a woman is worth my time, even if it means driving someone away. You know beauty is common and there are so many women out there to chose from, so I have to be systematic about this. She told me that's what she does by being really forward herself. She said, "Usually when I tell a guy that I love anal sex and hair pulling it scares them off and they walk away weirded-out, but you thought it was cool and escalated it right back at me. I explained my approach to relationships, I don't start out seeing someone exclusively; I believe it has to be based on the genuine attraction that the two of us feel and not an attempt to conform to the social conventions of the traditional dating frame. Monogamy is earned only when I feel so attracted to someone that I lose interest in pursuing others. That way I know that I am being truly fair both to myself and the other person.
After listening for a little while I shared some things where I agreed and where I disagreed with her, just some fluff talk. Part of the good stuff included asking her about her job at the council to prevent teen age pregnancy and what she found most fulfilling about it. She responded that she enjoyed feeling that she could help people and also thought that our culture was very repressed and it was good to develop a sense of, also she found the study of sex fascinating and loved that her job allowed her to learn and help others learn and discover more about it. She said she was curious about my adventures in the dark side, into kink. I had already told her about the sex convention and the lifestyle and several other things like that. We vibed about how hard it was to find someone who you could really click with in such a way. I said isn’t it great when you can just find that person where you just click, and really connect with this person about something and you can feel so accepted, like you’ve always known them or were just meant to know them. I told her about a rare form of hypnosis known as hyperempiria which you could use to amplify any state that you wanted including orgasm.
So right over dinner I got her to take the feeling of orgasm and start to amplify it, giving it a color and then a shape. Then I got her to move the shape around and begin notice as those feelings began to flow through her body. She started to turn pink and then red as those feelings began to flow through her. Notice how you as become aware of your breathing… with each breath, pay attention to the feeling but focus on your breathing and now … with each breath that you take, the more that energy can begin to flow through you in waves, the feeling of color getting stronger now, the stronger the color the more intense that feeling with each breath that you take. Now can you imagine that to be a tremendous experience, I tapped my finger on the sake container three times for emphasis. Paused for a moment, she said wow, isn’t this intense. Then I took a drink from the glass and said notice now as you think back on those feelings they can come flooding right through you. At this point she was turning red. As you can imagine this combination of fractionation of symbols and synesthesia at the same time was tremendously powerful. She squirmed in her seat and said there you go again, damn.
We talked about a lot of things. I started discussing survival and how I struggled to make ends meet as a telemarketer for a time share resort between my Jr. and Sr. year of college as a matter of stubborn pride just to prove that I could make it on my own. I used this to setup a story where I quoted myself as a vehicle for some patterns similar to the blowjob and discovery channel patterns. One day nothing was working, but I kept trying and trying and even went through every single rebuttal that they had in my script book. You know how sometimes you have one of those days where it gets to the point where you just say fuck it and just let things go and you aggressively pursue what you want without holding anything back. I think its moments like that where you really discover what you are made of and know that no matter what life throws at you, you can survive to rise from the ashes like a PhoenixFor the night shift they had me start on the phone with this single mother. After going through the standard script I started to really lay it on. Then I went into my downhill skiing pattern. Do you like skiing? You know that feeling of anticipation you get as you take that long journey on the ski lift up to the top of the mountain for your first run down a black diamond trails and maybe as you were there talking to someoneand listening to the sound of their voice you looked to the side or behind you, now you can see how high you are, and you notice that you begin to feel a mixture of excitement and nervousness at the same time. And then there comes that moment where you get off and then move right to the edge, that point of no return where you have to decide to turn downhill and go for it. To me the interesting thing about it is, it might be kind of scary at first, but then you get to the point where just trust your feelings, and for a moment ease into it in your mine (phonetic ambiguity with your mind). Then there comes that moment where you're sliding down, the mountain with the feel of wind blowing in your face, the bright white of the snow surrounding you, the roar of the wind as you accelerate down the mountain and you have to turn, and for just a moment you lose a degree of control as part of the process for gaining it back again. You just have to trust (one of her trance words) that by giving up control, surrendering to the power of the experience, you are fully embracing the process of enjoying this adventure and actually become more powerful.
Her: Yeah, wow. Pupils dilating. And then I continued …So then the final part of my script was this. And after that long day on the ski slope you can come back to one of our luxurious cabins and enjoy the warmth of our quality redwood hot tubs. It like you can just stop and begin by stripping away all of your clothes and just slide inside, feeling the warmth as it penetrates all throughout your body and the color of that warmth begins to flow, until you come ... to the conclusion that you want to come to out resort … so which credit card will that be. I then tapped the table with my finger at a spot just in front of me and to my left about where a server would put the check if they were giving it to me (hey, she already at least she owed me dinner after all of this, but I didn't want to leave anything to chance).
Her: damn it there you go again. You and your word choice, its just like your story …
Me: Yeah and notice how as you think about that, those feeling can just come flooding right through you. (I ran the feelings back through the loop once again) After some fluff talk that inevitably led back towards sex again. We ended up talking about attraction and relationships again. I said to her, I've been told that my outlook is different than that of many guys. Its just like this article I read about how men and women feel attraction. They were saying that a lot of guys go out and pick out a woman and then say "I'm going to make you mine," and project all of those characteristics of an ideal lover onto the woman they have chosen based on that first initial attraction (gesture away and to the left). However for women the article was saying that often that first attraction is a more physical sensation, right in here, I sensed disagreement so I went on to give a choice. My friend Mandy (this was actually based on a true story that I captured on an IM conversation three years ago) was saying that for her there were 2 different kinds of attractions, one could start here, chest point, but another one started down here, a more earthy kind of lust where you just know you are going to get totally fucked… Then I went through and amplified the feelings.
Then she asked me if I felt any physical sensations tied to emotions. I said I didn't used to, but more recently as I have become more aware of myself and what I really want, I think that a woman's physical appearance is not enough, in fact some of the women I have enjoyed the most did not appear physically attractive to me at first. But then at a certain point I would get a feeling deep down where I just knew I was going to enjoy the experience with them, I could just tell the sex was going to awesome, it's just like that ritual I told you about with the chakras and the cords of light. Now with me, I have learned when to just trust this feeling of attraction that lets me know I am going to have a great experience. In addition to the sexual chemistry it is very important to be with a woman that is highly intelligent that can challenge me intellectually, and that will treat me and my time with respect. No amount of physical beauty or anything else can compensate for that part, which is one of the things I look for early on if there is to be any meaningful future with this person.
At this point she started to get a little defensive because she thought I was alluding to her tardiness earlier in the evening. I said "hey I'm over it now that I have food and a little drink in me." At the end of the evening, the server came with the check and put it down right in front of me and right on top of the spot I had anchored on the table. Without hesitation she reached across the table, "my treat I invited you out to dinner as my guest." I just smiled. She walked with me back toward the Metro. Before we parted company we made out again and I pulled her tight against me, then pulled her hair, kissed and bit her neck and then I stopped kissing first and hoped onto the escalator. She said you've given me much to masturbate to, I nearly rubbed myself raw from that story before. I said yeah, you don't have to imagine what it will be like when we have fun together, but as you think about it you know we would have way too much fun.
Lessons Learned Traveling The World
1 week ago